Surviving Wedding Stress: Tips For Controlling Your Emotions Before They Control You
You and your fiancé have just become engaged! The time between this moment and the day of your wedding should be filled with exciting plans and nothing but happiness, happiness and more happiness.
But it doesn't exactly turn out that way. Shortly after that engagement ring is slipped on your finger and the wedding planning gets underway, you begin to feel as if you are seriously on the way to losing your mind. Why? Because getting married is a major life change and one of the biggest stress inducers of all time.
This little five-letter word often wreaks havoc in the lives of Brides and Grooms everywhere. Just exactly what is stress? Simply put, it's that unpleasant state experienced by people when they feel that they can't cope with a situation. It's that heart-thumping sound in your chest sometimes accompanied by the urge to pound on the wall with your fists and scream, "I can't take it anymore!" Even though getting married is viewed as a positive experience in itself, all the details associated with it can have negative effects and lead to STRESS!
Although it's not realistic to think you can totally avoid stress, there are ways to handle it. Let's take a look at some of the causes of wedding stress and what you can do to get a grip on it or - better yet - prevent and control it before it gets a grip on you.
First, control those negative thoughts swirling around in your mind. If you think plans will go wrong, they probably will. And if you think plans will go well, you will most likely succeed. So banish those negative thoughts and start thinking like a winner. Practice positive self-talk. Look in the mirror every morning and repeat, "I am in control of my wedding and it will be beautiful." This is your mantra. Don't set yourself up for unrealistic expectations and you won't be disappointed. Remember, no wedding is perfect but it can be close to perfect if you start out by thinking positively.
Get organized, girlfriend.
Use time management and planning tools to make effective use of your time. LIWeddings.com's Calendar keeps track of important dates, manages your appointments and even sets up automated email reminders for you. Use the LIWeddings.com Invite List to manage who's invited and create "maybe" lists. Then use the Seating Chart tool to juggle your guests around for the best seating arrangement. Even if you haven't been the most organized Bride up to now, it's never too late to start. Disorganization only leads to chaos, so take control and get going - now!
Control those costs.
You begin with plans for a simple yet elegant affair and, before you know it, your wedding budget begins to approach the national debt. Don't let this happen to you. One of the major causes of wedding stress is money. If you start spending more than you have budgeted for (and this is very easy to do), you might as well just roll out the welcome mat for stress. Decide on a budget and keep to it. Use LIWeddings.com's Budget Calculator to manage your wedding budget and expenses.
Think twice about that advice.
Once you announce that you're getting married, expect advice-givers to swarm over you in droves to give you all sorts of "helpful" hints. Or even worse, to relate horrific experiences they have gone through with their weddings. Although some of this unsolicited information may be sage advice, much of it should just be greeted with a polite "Thank you for sharing" and dismissed. Beware of people who start their conversations with, "You should do this." The only thing you should do is take their advice with the proverbial grain of salt. You don't need to have people bossing you around or to hear pessimistic stories - you're a winner, remember?
Please don't try to please…everyone.
Stay focused on what you and your fiancé have planned. It's your wedding, not anyone else's. If you start listening to and carrying out other people's desires for your wedding plans, it's a sure-fire way to cause stress. Don't change your plans just because someone else tries to convince you to do so. Sure, you don't want to hurt Aunt Vivian's feelings by not inviting your third cousin whom you haven't seen in five years. And there might be repercussions if you don't choose your mother's tennis partner as your florist. There are so many details associated with wedding planning that there are bound to be points of contention. Each hurdle that you may encounter should be handled with tact and diplomacy. At the same time, be strong, be brave - and be firm.
Get moving, eat right and have a good belly laugh.
Take advantage of simple, yet effective, ways to reduce stress. Exercise and diet play important roles in influencing the way you feel. So stretch those muscles, take that walk and hit the gym. Eat nutritious meals. And don't skip meals either. Too much caffeine can make you nervous, so grab some bottled water instead of that extra cup of coffee. And drinking too much alcohol isn't helpful either. Drink in moderation. One glass of wine is fine. We've all heard the expression, "Laughter is the best medicine." Humor is one of the best ways to reduce stress. So go ahead and listen to those jokes, share funny stories with others and watch those comedians that make you laugh out loud. Don't take yourself too seriously. The world will go on, even if with a tiny flaw in your wedding. And, who knows, years from now you might even laugh about it with your grandchildren.