(Getting) Married With Children: Tips For Telling Your Kids

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(Getting) Married With Children: Tips For Telling Your Kids

by Mia Bolaris-Forget (Staff Writer NYCityWeddings)

Whether you have offspring from a previous marriage or previous liaison, chances are your kids are NOT as excited about the prospect of mommy (mom) or daddy (dad) adding a new (permanent) member to their lives and household.

Yet, according to the experts, your kids should be the FIRST people you inform (followed by your parents, siblings, closest friends, etc). But, how do you break the “happy” news to some potentially unhappy people? Among other answers, professionals suggest delicately, diplomatically, and “in private”.

Experts suggest that each of you tell your respective children separately and “alone”. You should tell your kids and your mate should tell his or hers. They note, that breaking the news to them privately allows your children to not only feel “honored” and respected, but gives them an opportunity to express themselves freely and openly without feeling “judged” by your future spouse and/or his or her family/kids.

Furthermore, it’s imperative that you make them feel understood, and like they can and will be part of the planning process; as well as letting them know that NOTHING about your relationship with them or love for them will change. And you need to inform them as soon as possible, so they can get use to the idea, and keep them informed every step of the way. Also make it clear that you want and appreciate their input and open communication. And, if there are “issues” try to get to the root of the “problem” and address them kindly and quickly, even if it means seeking counseling. Again, don’t forget to ask them for their advice and help and ask them how else they’d like to be part of your special day and celebration.