You Better Shop Around: Shopping for Your Bridal Apparel and Answers To The Most Common Concerns and Questions

by Mia Bolaris-Forget (Staff Writer NYCityWeddings)

Lots of brides, their soon to be grooms, and their respective families believe that shopping for their wedding is a simple and straightforward as, well, shopping (at the mall).

Shopping for your special day means not only seeking out specialty stores, but has it’s own special protocol. Here a few things you should know before you go, go, go.

1. Avoid walk-ins sans appointment: Unless in a mass retail outlet most specialty bridal salons frown upon having their clientele simply stroll in without an appointment. Even the larger, mass merchandising facilities prefer you set up a specific day and time to peruse the merchandise. You must understand, that sampling a wedding gown is quite different than trying on a pair of jeans, skirt or average outfit. Gowns are generally delicate, carefully crafted, heavy and have many pieces to the ensemble, AND (thusly), they require a more formal approach, supervision and assistance to try on. In addition YOU probably expect to undivided attention and uninterrupted service. By giving the salon the courtesy of making and keeping an appointment, you are ensuring the consultant is designating a specific amount of time to pamper you and to meet all your wants, needs and give you all the personal attention and service that you require and deserve.
· Make sure the consultants are fashion professionals and skilled at helping you make the right choice. There’s no doubt that (more often than not) you get what you pay for. But remember, the MOST expensive or elaborate is not always the best (choice for you), and frequently what looks good on paper may not look good on you. You may even want to hire (if possible) an “impartial” consultant or style advisor to help you make the best selection for your special day. It’s also important that the groom, the immediate family and the bridal party receive the same special treatment, attention, and pampering. After all you want EVERYONE to look and feel their best on your “Big Day”.

2. Look Before You Leap: With so many luxurious mega- salons to choose from it’s easy for brides (grooms, and their families) to get overwhelmed. From “discount” centers to lux salons replete with the latest in couture bridal (fashions), you can spend all of your time literally searching for the ideal location….and you know what they say: it’s all about “location, location, location”. Before making your choice experts note that it’s imperative you be realistic about what you want, what’s practical (for your type of affair), and what you can afford. Browse through magazines and determine which seem to offer the ambiance, style of gown and affordability you are looking for. Also remember, that word of mouth is a great way to make a selection. Ask friends or family for their recommendations and ask as many questions as necessary to make you feel comfortable with your choice. It’s especially important that you have confidence in the salons service, selection, professionalism, and ability to meet your needs (i.e. they have larger sample sizes if you’re a full-figured bride) and can deliver what you expect and pay for.

Professionals suggest limiting your excursion to between 2 and 4 salons, otherwise you risk getting overwhelmed and confused. You may even want to just stroll by (to make your appointment) in person, and check them out in action. While most places won’t allow you to take photos of the gown, you should always retain a piece of paper for making sketches and/or taking down detailed and pertinent information.

3. Remember, Timing Is Everything: As a general rule, brides get extremely excited about their engagement and start ruminating for their gown immediately. However, it’s quite common that the quest for the “perfect” gown results in confusion, and an inability to place the order until it’s “too late”. Generally speaking, your gown (and bridal attire) is a very personal purchase. While there may be others (out there) like it, your body is totally different from any other bride’s and YOUR dress may need special attention to meet YOUR needs. Experts suggest ordering your gown at least 4 to 5 months before your wedding. The norm however is between 6 months and a year. This offers YOU and the manufacturer have enough time, and helps alleviate or avoid any un-necessary stress. Remember, your gown will need to be delivered (unless you buy it off the rack) and will most likely require alterations. Keep in mind, these things take time, and you are not the only bride the manufacturer and the store have to contend with and please. Similarly you should note that mothers’ apparel and bridesmaids’ dresses should also be ordered well in advance. A standard time frame is usually a minimum of eight weeks prior to your wedding. And don’t forget to give the groom and the groomsmen a head start too. Tuxedos, and/or suits require some though and often alterations as well. And, experts note that orders placed past a comfortable “deadline” may mean a “rush order” surcharge that’s passed on to you.

4. Prepare To Be Pampered: All ladies “boast” about how much they’d like to be a pampered princess bride. But once you enter the bridal arena, you quickly find out that “stardom” has its price. People waiting on you hand and foot and following you around, ready to indulge your every whim can be a bit frustrating, disconcerting and un-nerving. Still, this is exactly the treatment you can expect when you visit various bridal salons. Keep in mind, that while it may feel like they are “smothering” you, it’s merely protocol and duty, and they are only doing their job. Unlike regular dress shops, specialty stores such as bridal salons cater to a very specific clientele. The merchandise is also very unique, often times delicate and expensive. Additionally, bridal salons generally feature several gowns in limited sizes (which may or may NOT be the size you want or need). Bridal attendants are there not only to guide to you the styles you are looking for, but to those they feel will do you justice and to make your whole experience comfortable, pleasant, fun, and rewarding. Once they help you make your selection (even if it’s not your size) they are responsible for helping you try the gown on, avoiding any complications and ensuring that the dress is not damaged in any way. Additionally, they are there to explain the effect of the dress (once altered to your specific needs) and to help you complete “the look” with the proper headpiece, jewelry, shoes, etc.

5. Lower Your Expectations: No doubt you WILL be catered to when shopping for your bridal gown (and any other wedding attire) but it’s important to remain realistic about what to expect from your experience. Do NOT expect to try on dozens of gown. Most salons are willing to show you a variety, and while they are well-prepared to make recommendations, they presume YOU already know what you like, want, and are comfortable with. Besides trying on too many gowns only leaves you more confused, and makes choosing more difficult. So, start by rummaging through magazines, books, etc., and establishing a general idea of styles you find appealing and those you feel would be most figure flattering. Express your ideas to your attendant/consultant and don’t feel ashamed to ask for her advice or professional opinion. That’s her job….and if you’re fortunate she knows what she’s doing she’ll be more than happy to point you in the right direction. Don’t expect to spend more than an hour at each appointment and make sure to tell your consultant about the type of wedding you’re having (or expect to have), formal or informal, where you’ll be having it, time of year, and what you can afford to spend. This will help avoid lots of wasted time and effort.

While it’s best to bring along someone special for a second opinion, professionals caution against schlepping along an entourage that may be more inhibitive than helpful. After choosing some styles you’ll be accompanied to a private dressing room with your consultant who’ll help you try on your gown, and even furnish you with the appropriate undergarments. A skilled seamstress in usually also available to discuss any necessary alterations.

· Experts advise brides to be to refrain from wearing lots of makeup if any at all when going for a trial or fitting. Also keep the perfume and coiffed hair to a minimum. Please be considerate with regards to the “frailty” of the gowns and remove any shoes or boots that risk damaging the merchandise, and make sure your hands and face are clean.

6. Time Saving Tips: Lots of brides-to-be these days already have enough on their plate to deal with besides the wedding. Many worldly women are juggling schedules, appointments and meeting. They barely have time for lunch, never mind trying on gowns. So, how so savvy sophisticates ensure they sachet down the aisle in style. Well, according to experts you should start by knowing what you want. Use down time, travel time or lunchtime to look through magazines and books and determine the designs you are partial to. Knowing what you want beforehand is essential to not wasting time. Professionals however point out that’s it’s also imperative to know what looks good (on YOU). To avoid pressure all together, consider contracting the services of a bridal coordinator or a (bridal) fashion stylist. They can do all the fancy footwork for you. All you have to do is approve their choices (even via email) show up at the salon and try on gown. Perhaps some have enough connections to bring the gowns to you.

7. The Cost Of Doing Business: Whenever you go try on a gown, it’s always best to bring cash, credit or a checkbook with you. At least have the funds allocated to put toward the dress. While most establishments will gladly accommodate a lay away program, most also require a 50 percent down payment to place an order. Never assume that even if you don’t purchase the dress “today”, you can always go back and try it on later, and make your decision. Some stores may hold a dress for you for a day or two, but then it goes back out on the rack where you risk someone else buying (off the rack, and at a discounted price) and for all you know, your dream dress may get discontinued. Placing a deposit on your gown ensures the order is placed and that your dream dress is yours. You’ll return to the store for a first fitting and to discuss necessary alterations once the dress arrives. You’ll normally have two fittings after that, and the third and final fitting is usually when the balance is due.

Bridal bargaining is quite common, but unlike other major purchases (like buying a car or home), the price of a gown has very little room for (financial) breathing. The salon may be able to come down a few dollars, but they probably don’t have much more maneuvering ability. Remember, gowns are intricate items and are expensive and time consuming to make…and besides the cost of materials and labor, the price usually also reflects the time, work, and service invested and offered by the salon.

8. Know What You’re Paying For: No one said you had to spend a small fortune on your wedding gown, but most designer dresses could require an ample investment. Besides being your ensemble for one of the most important and memorable days of your life, where YOU (and your groom) will be in the spotlight, wedding gowns are generally eloquently and majestically embellished garments made from the some of the highest quality materials and fabrics. And, they generally require lots more of it. The cost of your gown reflects not only these costs, but also the cost of labor and the cost of the services that you are provided via the retail outlet/salon you are dealing with.

Financially frugal brides “do” have the option of purchasing lower cost garments at sample or clearance sales, Professionals however point out that these gowns rarely come with the other accoutrements such as fittings and alterations. Additionally, many of these gowns may be discontinues, and non-replaceable if damages, and more frequently than not, not refundable, returnable, or exchangeable, nor can you seek remuneration for dissatisfaction with service or merchandise.

9. A Nip and A Tuck: You may want to rethink your bridal gown budget before you buy. While many brides are inclined to believe that the cost of the dress also includes alteration fees, you may surprised to find no matter how much you pay, alteration charges are usually extra. Fine-tuning a wedding dress is a lot more complex that hemming a dress or shortening a pair of pants. In fact, it’s a “specialty” trade and requires much hard work, dedication, and attention to detail. This very intricate and detailed custom work, according to professionals, is just as important as finding the right dress for you. Typically, you will need to attend several fittings, 2 or 3 in which you will model your dress for the seamstress or tailor allowing them to mark it and make the necessary and appropriate adjustments. Additional custom work or detailing is usually associated with an additional cost.

10. Be Serious and Keep In Mind That Time Is Money: While you may be having “the time of your life” frequenting various salons and trying on dozens of gowns in each, try to remember that the consultants earn their money by making sales. That DOES NOT mean that they should or will take advantage of you, but neither is it an excuse for you to take advantage of them. If you’ve already seen something you’ve got your heart set on (in another location) or plan to make your own dress, don’t make looking for a dress a window-shopping experience. Don’t just go in to try on gown without knowing what you want. And, certainly don’t just go in and sample the merchandise if you’re not already engaged or have set the date. If you want to get ideas for your own creation, you may want to secure the help of a professional who can sketch some out for you based on your vision and description. Use magazines, books, etc. for ideas, and don’t tie up anyone’s time or profit. You can even inquire about ideas at your local fabric store. Experts note most have a wedding professional on staff.