Pick and Choose: Selecting Your Bridal Party

by Mia Bolaris-Forget (Staff Writer NYCityWeddings)

Now that you’ve made the choice of whom to marry, when and where, you’re going to have to decide whom to invite to be part of your special celebration, starting with the wedding party.

And, while you may think your choice will be “easy”, there’s a lot that has to go into your decision, including how close do you think you’ll be with these chosen few over your lifetime or at least over the next few years, how trustworthy are they, can they afford it, and would they be honoured by the honour, just to name a few.

Here are just a few things to consider before you choose

The Maid or Matron of Honour: Usually sisters and close relatives (such as first cousins) take precedence over friends. Otherwise, give the honour to a very special friend, preferably the one you’ve known the longest and who has been with you through thick and thin.

Remember, except for you (and possibly your mom), she will be the one in charge and in control, helping you make all your decisions, giving you a shoulder to lean on and an ear to vent on; and planning all your pre-nuptial parties and festivities, all while keeping the you and the other members of your bridal party, cool, calm, and collected. She’s also likely to be the one to give the speech/toast at your rehearsal dinner and/or the one to speak a few fabulous words of wisdom at your reception on your wedding day. With that said, you’ll want to make sure she’s not only a great friend, but one that is mature, responsible, organized, and reliable.

The Best Man: Typically the groom chooses the best man and usually it’s his closest brother, relative or best friend. Again, it’s important to choose wisely and make sure you or he chooses someone who can handle the responsibility and who won’t party hardy all night long. Keep in mind that in some customs and cultures, it’s the groom’s dad who fills these special shoes.

The best man is the one who does for the groom pretty much what the Maid of Honour does for the bride. He is in charge of all bachelor events and offers a support system for the groom. The best man is also responsible for holding on to the rings on the day of the wedding, even if there is a ring bearer, since the kid is usually given “faux” rings to carry, and starts off the round of toasts at the rehearsal dinner.

Bridesmaids: These girls (or guys) should be the select few that you expect to have in your life for a long while, who are fun, and, who, like your Maid of Honour, you know you can trust. And, don’t forget close relatives, of your soon-to-be DH, such as his older or little sisters.

Your bevy of bridesmaids are there to support you as your prepare to transition from Ms. to Mrs. and to help your celebrate all your pre-wedding events. They are also responsible for purchasing their own gowns, the one you pick out, of course, and keeping the party going out on the dance floor, as well, as mixing and mingling with guests, helping you make everyone feel welcomed and comfortable.

The Groomsmen: These gaggle of gents should include old friends, and close relatives from both sides, though the groom’s “cronies” usually get first dibbs.

Groomsmen are responsible for helping the groom out as he prepares to be wed and for planning his last (few) excursions out as a single gent. They also help with seating guests, paying for the bachelor party, dancing with the bridesmaids and unattached female guests.

The Flower Girl: Choose a youngster between the ages of three and six, older girls are typically included as junior bridesmaids and are part of most of the “adult” fun and fanfare and wear dresses similar to, but usually more understated that those worn by the main bridesmaids.

These lovely youngin’s are responsible for scattering flowers or blowing bubbles as they walk down the isle and may be joined in their walk by the ring bearer.

The Ring Bearer: This youngster is usually a young boy who traditionally donned knickers, saddle shoes, and long knee socks, and carried a velvet pillow containing the couple’s wedding rings, though today, fake rings are used while the Best Man holds on to the real thing.

The ring bearer’s only other responsibility is walking the flower girl down the aisle.