taking care of elderly parents....my friend needs advice

One of my best friend's mom is living in her in-laws house (she is a widow) AND she is taking care of both of her elderly parents, who live in the same house. Yup, she has her parents and her in-laws. Her parents are very sick and she has no help to take care of them. Does anyone know where I can find out agencies that send help (like nurses aides etc). I don't think their insurance covers it and they need someone affordable....

My friend (who is married, her husband is a SAINT) and her mom are desperate and burning out....

Re: taking care of elderly parents....my friend needs advice

I'm sorry to hear that. If I ever hear of any, I'll be sure to let you know. My dh's father will soon be in need of one I think. Ever since my mil passed away, he's dependent on my sil but that cannot last for too long.

Re: taking care of elderly parents....my friend needs advice

I am sure if she spoke to one of their doctors, they could point her in the right direction...

Re: taking care of elderly parents....my friend needs advice

thanks Lauren..I think the DR recommended things to them but the insurance won't cover it. I am going to do a search on line for non-profit organizations

Re: taking care of elderly parents....my friend needs advice

perhaps an add in the paper?

although whoever you get, be careful cause alot of people steal from the house...

Re: taking care of elderly parents....my friend needs advice

No prob - hope it all works out. I know that I have worried about this from time to time.

Re: taking care of elderly parents....my friend needs advice

My mother's friend (from when they were in high school together) is a CSW and does just this. She has a practice where you can contact her as a consultant and she will assist you in getting care for aging parents/spouses. I do not know how
much she charges for her service or how that works. She is a terrific lady. Here's her contact info. :

Liz Conklin 516-868-5328

Re: taking care of elderly parents....my friend needs advice

See if you can get in touch with a social worker. Maybe they can be of help.

Get in touch with agencies and do a lot of research on them.

We had to put my great grandmother in a nursing home and my mom did a whole lot of research on them (what hospital they send their patients too if they get sick, how often are they checked on, what meals do they eat, are their meals monitered, what hospitals are the doctors affiliated with, how long have they been in practice, etc...)

With people coming to your home be very very cautious about that. I have 2 horror stories (one related directly to me and one someone told me) The one related to me was my grandmother. She had Ready Nurse and though they did their job when it came to money they were horrible. My grandmother was getting sicker and sicker and ready nurse took advantage of the situation. When she passed ready nurse demanded 15,000 dollars for the nursing care. Long story short, the estate was sold and Ready nurse wanted their money and my family refused to pay it up. Ready Nurse had 20 days to file a claim and they didnt. So they got nothing. But for 6 months all they did was cause problems.

Horror story 2 was a woman had a nurse for her husband who straterized of getting close to the couple, being their friend then robbed them blind. she stole the husbands social security number and got credit cards in his name and bought so much stuff. she stole jewelery and fine china from the couple. it was horrible. she destroyed the husbands identity by the fraud she did and it has taken a long time to track her down and clear his name.

so no matter what you do make sure to do all your homework, background and reference checks.

Re: taking care of elderly parents....my friend needs advice

Thank you Sasha and Chip I will pass along the info..

How scary about the identity stealing!!

Re: taking care of elderly parents....my friend needs advice

That is definatly scary to think that someone is sick and someone else would take advantage

Re: taking care of elderly parents....my friend needs advice

I agree with chippa try a social worker. It will be hard though because they ofcourse want to put them in a nursing home as soon as they hear they are not capable of taking care of themselves. Unfortunately, to get an aid to come to the house is mega bucks.

I only know this because we went through this with my grandmother. She went for breast cancer in April and now is a vegetable in a nursing home. All of her savings that her and her husband worked so hard for is gone.