When throwing a shower,do you call the girls in bridal party....

....and ask what they want to contribute and how much they can give? Or do you ask each one to give a certain amount?
I'm not sure how this works.Please help.

Re: When throwing a shower,do you call the girls in bridal party....

I would either put them in charge of a particular item (i.e. cake/cups&plates/favors/invitations, etc) or ask for a set amount. Ask them nicely if they have a problem with that $$ and work out something. If people give widely varying amounts it will just cause a lot of grief and hurt feelings.

Re: When throwing a shower,do you call the girls in bridal party....

Ok,thanks. I will ask them what they want to do for the party.

Re: When throwing a shower,do you call the girls in bridal party....

It depends on how well you know the girls. If you know them well, then I would just come out and say "here is what Im thinking.... it will cost $X...what do you think?"

If you barely know them, I would ask them what they are willing to contribute as more of an open ended question.

I was in a bridal party where i was presented with a bill for the shower without even being part of the planning or being asked - I did not like that one bit.

Re: When throwing a shower,do you call the girls in bridal party....

I don't really know the girls. I met 2 of them once or twice and never met the others.

Re: When throwing a shower,do you call the girls in bridal party....

the way I've done it in the past was call them, and told them "we have a shower to plan, do you want to be involved?"

I think before assigning duties, you should ask if they are willing to split the cost evenly. Try and estimate what the cost will be if you can to give everyone an idea, and then maybe brainstorm together and then assign different responsibilities.

If they're not willing to split the cost but are willing to contribute a set amount, maybe you could find a job that would fit that amount.

Re: When throwing a shower,do you call the girls in bridal party....

I've been in 1 wedding where the other bm's and I were not friends w/ each other and it s.ucked b/c the other 2 girls had totally different idea of what a shower should be from me (no effort, no detailed planning, no extra creativity just b/c the bride was a great friend to us, nothing!)...hopefully, you'll all be on the same page!

Re: When throwing a shower,do you call the girls in bridal party....

In this case I would first find 2 places to host the shower and get a per person cost. Then I would call each girl and invite them over for a BM meeting and give them the 2 ideas. Then say "Since Ann's mother is passed-on we all need to make this shower happen. How should we work out the costs involved?" I would also ask the FMIL if she could help with costs at all.

Re: When throwing a shower,do you call the girls in bridal party....

I am going to ask the girls if they have any ideas and if there is something special they would like to do to contribute. I don't want to force anyone into anything.I want everyone to feel good about our decision.

Re: When throwing a shower,do you call the girls in bridal party....

Novemberbride: thanks for posting this. I sent this thread to my MOH to help her and my mom with the shower planning for me!

Re: When throwing a shower,do you call the girls in bridal party....

I think Michele's idea is a great one!

Re: When throwing a shower,do you call the girls in bridal party....

Great ideas ladies.

Re: When throwing a shower,do you call the girls in bridal party....

I like Micheles idea too!

Re: When throwing a shower,do you call the girls in bridal party....

definitely include everyone...my isster did it on her on...it wasn't my taste at all...and never called 2 of the BMs to even see if they were coming!!!

one didn't even get the crappy invitations she made!!! (therefore didn't know to come)

Re: When throwing a shower,do you call the girls in bridal party....

I am definately checking with the other girls because this will be a group effort.
I'm sure everyone is anxious to make our friend's shower special.