Sad Mothers Day for my mom..can you help?

As a lot of you may know, my moms fiance passed away 2 weeks ago now and of course mothers day is coming up and I have no idea what to do for her. I keep remembering last year, dh and I bought her and her fiance tickets to see I love you your perfrct now change and we went on a double date and out to dinner afterwards...and now its so sad to think about it. I know that we technically werent his kids but he would always give my mom something just for being such a wonderful mother to us. He would always buy her three roses symbolizing her 3 kids..and now she doesnt have this. She doesnt have enough strength yet to get dressed and go out to dinner and what can we actually buy her that will put a smile on her face? Does anyone have any ideas..lately the thoughts of going out for her are just not there. We usually get a huge cold cut platter which we will still do for home but we wanted to give her something special. Any ideas? I know nothing at this point will make "happy" butwe want to try our best. All or any ideas would be so appreciated..thanks so much.

Re: Sad Mothers Day for my mom..can you help?

I am so sorry for you and your Mom. It's hard to find the right words and to express what you're feeling when what is supposed to be a happy day can become sad because someone you love isn't there.

Has your mom been going out at all? Would she like a day at a spa? Or maybe a trip to Old Westbury Gardens or to a vineyard? Sometimes also the best holidays just spent quietly, maybe renting a movie and having a nice meal together. You could bring her flowers and just tell her what a great mom she is.

Re: Sad Mothers Day for my mom..can you help?

You're probably already giving her the best thing you can. Your love, support and your time. Just be there with her and for her. Pamper her. Get your siblings on board for the day and let her dictate how she wants to spend it. This year will be filled with difficult holidays but time will heal.

Re: Sad Mothers Day for my mom..can you help?

maybe, write her a letter "from him" saying that he's thinking about her, watching what a great mom she is (tye in the mothers day).. and a picture frame with a special picture..

hugs to your mommy...

Re: Sad Mothers Day for my mom..can you help?

what about a day for you both to spend together becasue now more than ever you value her and realize how precious your relationship is.....

you could also write a long letter to her telling her how special she is, how storng she is, what an inspiration, etc....

or- you could even make her a scrapbook of pics and fill it in with either quotes or stories too....

all these might make her sad too but in a different way - and it would show her all she still has....we have been trying some of these with my ffil....

Re: Sad Mothers Day for my mom..can you help?

Hi Noreen,i hope you are doing better
Maybe you could try to incorporate some of the things your mom's Fh used to do for her on Mother's Day.I love the rose idea Maybe give your mom a day at the spa Try to keep the spirit within,because he is there in spirit & soul those two things never die nor does the memory
-Alexandria

Re: Sad Mothers Day for my mom..can you help?

ooh, so sorry to hear the pain in your family..I cannot imagine having to go through it all....I love the rose idea too...I saw in Macys today (in the crystal department) they have glass long stem roses...they are really pretty..they had pink and white and were $15 each...maybe you could get her those 3 and have them wrapped up nice or something like that...hope your mom can find some strength from your love and devotion to her

Re: Sad Mothers Day for my mom..can you help?

Noreen how are you today?

Re: Sad Mothers Day for my mom..can you help?

I was so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my step father about 4 weeks ago....2 weeks before my wedding. I didn't really mention it on the boards b/c I like to keep things to myself and DH mostly. My stepfather was like a father to me and it still hurts. My mother is having some hard times dealing with it, but there are good moments and bad. I can only imagine how you and your family are doing.

We are celebrating mother's day by having my mother and DH's mother over for a brunch. We are going to have them put together their parent albums. Then, we are going out to dinner with a Great Aunt. My mother will enjoy having everyone around more than anything. She used to get out and do so much but doesn't as much anymore. I think the best gift to my mom is for her to not be lonley. I do my best to help her each day but there is only so much any one person can do.

I think the ladies here have given some wonderful and touching suggestions. My suggestion would be to be with her that day. If you want to give a gift you may want to put together a photo collage of pics of you and her through the years. I gave my mom one to thank her for my bridal shower (while my father was sick) and she treasures it!

I hope for you all the best and will keep you in my thoughts.

Re: Sad Mothers Day for my mom..can you help?

bump

Re: Sad Mothers Day for my mom..can you help?

Noreen -
I definitely agree about the roses - keep the tradition alive, because traditions last a lifetime.

If your mom is still finding it difficult to get out of the house, I wouldn't plan anything because then she might feel obligated, which could turn into frustration and aggravation (both of which you wouldn't intend)...I just know how my mom felt...a quiet day at home with your brother and sister might be nice - still get the cold cuts, rent a good movie, or play some board games...

How about a piece of jewlery, something simple...and I love the idea of the long note to her - something she can always treasure.

Love you honey!