Can't believe the nerve of some people.....

My FH has an Uncle and Ex-Wife, when we sent out invites we sent one to both WITHOUT guests (since the ex was still close with FMIL and FFIL). Uncle and other uncles did not want to come if the ex came, and uncle refused unless he could bring a date. The ex assured my FMIL that she wasn't coming. Sooooo... (trying to make as short as possible) final solution (or what I thought was the final solution) uncle was bringing a guest and ex wasn't coming.

TODAY - Two weeks after the responses were due back (due 4/07) (wedding is 5/09) the EX sends back her response with her name and GUEST "Will Attend". 1st - she wasn't going to come. 2nd - she wasn't invited with a guest. 3rd - I'm afraid these other uncles and cousins wont show up now.

I think this woman is coming just to start problems. Why else does she want to come???

Message edited 4/24/2003 2:32:48 PM.

Re: Can't believe the nerve of some people.....

You are concerned that the ex will make trouble, so why did you invite her?

Unless kids are involved I think inviting an ex to any type of family function is a no no.

It makes for an uncomfortable situation.

Re: Can't believe the nerve of some people.....

Don't say anything and seat them in as-far corners as possible.

Re: Can't believe the nerve of some people.....

uGh that is horrible! Since you can't uninvite her, i say seperate corners are ideal

Re: Can't believe the nerve of some people.....

although I'm a firm believer that exes should never be invited to your wedding, whats done is done. Someone should tell her that she wasn't invited with a guest though...maybe FILs?

Re: Can't believe the nerve of some people.....

if she told your FMIL that she wasnt going.... have FMIL ask her whats up

Re: Can't believe the nerve of some people.....

i agree with butterfly - to tell people you aren't going and then to RSVP late is RUDE!!! i would have your FMIL deal with it and the guest situation.

Re: Can't believe the nerve of some people.....

It sounds to me that you NOW deep down don't want her to come. I say-- Tell your FMIL to tell her she responded too late, and unfortunately you handed your numbers in and can no longer add anyone else on-- let alone an non-invited quest.
(hopefully that is not too cold)

Re: Can't believe the nerve of some people.....

Thanks. I am going to let them handle it. I am just worried that this woman is going to start trouble.

It wasn't my choice to invite her, FIL's made the list. And it's an odd situation, the ex kept in touch with my FMIL.

I am going to try not to worry about it.

Re: Can't believe the nerve of some people.....

When you invite a guest to the wedding you must expect that they will attend. It is unfair to now try to "uninvite" her. This is your wedding and you invited all of these people. You can call her and tell her that your headcount is too tight to allow for her to bring a guest (she may cancel then). That is totally fair, since she was NOT invited with a guest.
Just sit her far enough way from the Uncles. Everyone should act like adults at your wedding. Let them deal with their own personal issues. It is your wedding day, not theirs.

Re: Can't believe the nerve of some people.....

If the ex assured your FMIL she was not coming, I'd (or have FMIL) tell her that based on her initial response we have no more space & sorry, she will not be able to attend due to space limitations. I'm sure I'll get flamed for this but . . . I think its fair to uninvite her if she initially responded no & she doesn't need to know the rest. JMO

Message edited 4/24/2003 6:01:05 PM.