A little bummed

I need to vent a little... I feel so lost with wedding stuff lately... my sister (moh) is great, she helps me with anything and is excited to do so but my other BM's are nowhere to be found.. I know they are really busy so I am trying to not let it bother me.. what I am really upset about is my best friend. She passed away 2 years ago (in nov.) and I just miss her so much lately.... I never imagined planning a wedding without her and not having her as one of my BM's and I just really need her around We were best friends from the day she was born...24 years (our moms were best friends growing up too and still are).

I just needed to get this off my chest.. i feel like I talk to FH about this too much so I have been trying to keep it to myself and its making me really sad...I really miss her and I want her opinion and I want her around during all of this.

I feel like I am having mini wedding breakdowns lately. One day i hate my dress, the next day my vendors.. it doesnt stop!

Ok im done.. thanks for reading if you got this far. You ladies are great!

Re: A little bummed

i'm really sorry that you lost your bf. i would probably feel the same way you do, i've been friends with my MOH since 2nd grade. unfortunately there's nothing that can be done and it's just one of those things we have to deal with in life. she'll always be in your heart and looking down at you from above.

Re: A little bummed

im so sorry for your loss first and foremost and im sure these feelings are coming abck strong b/c of the time of year so close to her passing away.the hating of the dress etc is prob just stemming from the frustration and sadness u feel right now but u need to always remember that she was and will always be ur best friend wherever she is and im sure that she is smiling right now thinking of how beautiful you looked in your dress.i think it totally ok and prob healthy to break downa dn say ok i need a second from time to tim b/c 1.planning a wedding is hard and 2.it does not compare to what u have gone through.as hard as it might be now try to celebrate her life and know how proud she would be of you.im sorry your other bms are not around i hope they come around but in the meantime we r always hear to listen and talk.fm anytime u need to just let it all out and feel better

Re: A little bummed

I think that kind of emtional roller coaster is normal in planning something so imporant. And so is missing someone who is really important at this time. I say just take each day at a time.

Always remember that your best friend will be there in spirit on your big day!!

I say go ahead and melt down to us. That is what we are all here for!!

Re: A little bummed

I am so sorry for your loss... I know it must be so hard to plan this big day without her input..
Just know that she will always be with you and she would want your planning process to go as smoothly as possible.

If you ever need to vent or rant, feel free! We will all be here for you along the way!!!

Re: A little bummed

Thank you guys.. you are SO sweet.. i hate being a debbie downer but sometimes just getting it out makes me feel better... My BF will def. be there in spirit on my wedding day and I know she is def. proud of me.

I didn't replace her spot with another BM, i just couldn't do it so that is open for her.. and my wedding colors are actually her favorite colors.. so I am trying to have her "there" with us as much as possible.

Re: A little bummed

I'm so sorry to hear about your best friend it must be very hard for you. I know that nothing I say will make it feel better but anything you need we all are here for you! IMO I think that the only person who really is important through out the process are the ones that are there for you to lean on them. For example, your sister. If she is enthusiastic about it that's great! In my experience through out the wedding process you really find out "who people are". It can be a good thing and a bad thing at the same time. I wouldn't take it personally just maybe as a learning experience. Talk to your sister tell her how you feel. She will be there to listen to you and FH will definitely understand and be your shoulder to lean on. Your friend will be there in spirit and enjoy every moment of your day with you. Maybe wear a piece of her jewelry on the day or bring something that you know she would have liked.


Quick story:

My parents friends lost their daughter when she was young and she always wore this little mermaid watch. When it came time for their other daughter to get married her father wore the watch. The watch hadn't worked in years but from the time of the ceremony to the end of the reception the watch was on.

Re: A little bummed

omg I am so sorry to hear that jsut take a break for little bit and take time to feel what you are feeling dont hold it in because that will make things worse. Im not going to say I know how you are feeling because my BF didnt die, but we did stop talking and planning my wedding without her is one of the worst feelings it makes me cry all the time to think of all the plans we would have done together and it is very hard for me....so I cant even imagine how much worse it is for you . If you need to vent or just talk we are all here for you and you can FM me any time.

Re: A little bummed

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Posted by krislee316

omg I am so sorry to hear that jsut take a break for little bit and take time to feel what you are feeling dont hold it in because that will make things worse. Im not going to say I know how you are feeling because my BF didnt die, but we did stop talking and planning my wedding without her is one of the worst feelings it makes me cry all the time to think of all the plans we would have done together and it is very hard for me....so I cant even imagine how much worse it is for you . If you need to vent or just talk we are all here for you and you can FM me any time.

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Re: A little bummed

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Posted by NickandTara426

Quick story:

My parents friends lost their daughter when she was young and she always wore this little mermaid watch. When it came time for their other daughter to get married her father wore the watch. The watch hadn't worked in years but from the time of the ceremony to the end of the reception the watch was on.

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Re: A little bummed

I am sooo sorry that you had lost your best friend. Of corse this will be a hard time...and for that I am sorry. My Father passed away, and through it's not the same, he was very opinionated about everything. And, he was great with helping with crafts. Each time I start to miss him alot, I take his favorite pic and hold it close to my heart. I know that he is still here... just not in the flesh. He's all around me. I would loove to hear him just once...

Are you planning on having her pic dispalyed anywhere at your wedding?

Planning a wedding is def. like a roller coaster. Sometimes I want NOTHING to do with a wedding. I wish that I had better advise. It's hard...it really is.

Re: A little bummed

im sos orry its a very hard thing to deal with but she is always with you throught this whole process as long as you have you rmemories she will always be part ofyou.

Re: A little bummed

Oh im so sorry. Its always hard to plan something so special without loved ones ... Im sure she is looking down at you from wherever she is and is helping you every step of the way

Re: A little bummed

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Posted by Dani777

I am sooo sorry that you had lost your best friend. Of corse this will be a hard time...and for that I am sorry. My Father passed away, and through it's not the same, he was very opinionated about everything. And, he was great with helping with crafts. Each time I start to miss him alot, I take his favorite pic and hold it close to my heart. I know that he is still here... just not in the flesh. He's all around me. I would loove to hear him just once...

Are you planning on having her pic dispalyed anywhere at your wedding?

Planning a wedding is def. like a roller coaster. Sometimes I want NOTHING to do with a wedding. I wish that I had better advise. It's hard...it really is.

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Re: A little bummed

I am so sorry for your loss- what a terrible thing. I'm sure the wedding planning is making it even harder for you. I guess it's like holidays. When you've experienced a loss, there is a little sadness there- and sometimes, not just a little bit. I can't imagine what you're going through. I think it's so lovely that you're honoring your friend and using her favorite colors. I've read about people making a table at the reception with pics of relatives who have passed on. Maybe that's a good idea. But on the flip side, it may be upsetting to you and her family, who will certainly be there. But something tells me that she will be on their minds anyway.

I wish I could say something that would give you some kind of peace, but sometimes, there's just nothing to say that is adequate. I KNOW your friend is watching you, and I KNOW she feels your joy, and at times, your pain. And I KNOW she would want you to have the most wonderful day possible.

If you want some opinions, please let me know- FM anytime! I know it's not the same, but maybe you will feel better knowing other people really DO care, even if you've never met them. I'm crying over your story, and I've never met you. But I do know this is one of the most important events in your life, and I'll help you any way I can. I'm sure the other ladies on here would do the same. All my best, and I hope to hear from you!!

Re: A little bummed

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Posted by Suzanner

I am so sorry for your loss- what a terrible thing. I'm sure the wedding planning is making it even harder for you. I guess it's like holidays. When you've experienced a loss, there is a little sadness there- and sometimes, not just a little bit. I can't imagine what you're going through. I think it's so lovely that you're honoring your friend and using her favorite colors. I've read about people making a table at the reception with pics of relatives who have passed on. Maybe that's a good idea. But on the flip side, it may be upsetting to you and her family, who will certainly be there. But something tells me that she will be on their minds anyway.

I wish I could say something that would give you some kind of peace, but sometimes, there's just nothing to say that is adequate. I KNOW your friend is watching you, and I KNOW she feels your joy, and at times, your pain. And I KNOW she would want you to have the most wonderful day possible.

If you want some opinions, please let me know- FM anytime! I know it's not the same, but maybe you will feel better knowing other people really DO care, even if you've never met them. I'm crying over your story, and I've never met you. But I do know this is one of the most important events in your life, and I'll help you any way I can. I'm sure the other ladies on here would do the same. All my best, and I hope to hear from you!!

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Re: A little bummed

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Posted by gporka23

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Posted by Dani777

I am sooo sorry that you had lost your best friend. Of corse this will be a hard time...and for that I am sorry. My Father passed away, and through it's not the same, he was very opinionated about everything. And, he was great with helping with crafts. Each time I start to miss him alot, I take his favorite pic and hold it close to my heart. I know that he is still here... just not in the flesh. He's all around me. I would loove to hear him just once...

Are you planning on having her pic dispalyed anywhere at your wedding?

Planning a wedding is def. like a roller coaster. Sometimes I want NOTHING to do with a wedding. I wish that I had better advise. It's hard...it really is.

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I am sorry too!! Its really hard to plan such important events without them.. as for the picture.. I wasn't planning on doing it only because her mom gets really upset easily (understandable).. and I know watching me get married and thinking about how she can't watch her own daughter do it is going to be hard enough.. I didnt want to upset her even more..... However, her mom did set up a scholarship in her name and I am thinking of asking my mom to donate $ to it (or to the american heart foundation) instead of favors for my shower or something like that.

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Re: A little bummed

That is actually a really good idea. I just went to a wedding in sept ,it was my FH's cousin that got married and they donated to the American cancer society and everyone thought that was soooo nice especially my FH and FSIL because their brother passed away over 5 years ago from cancer.

Re: A little bummed

Glad to make you smile, and I totally meant it!

Re: A little bummed

Oh my gosh! I am sooo sorry you lost your best friend! Its totally understandable that you feel this way.
I would be a wreck!!! I do believe that loved ones who crossed over are still here everyday looking at us and are very much a part of our everyday life. I know it does not bring her back but just know that she sees you! Maybe shes even giving you little signs to let you know she is still around... keep an eye out for them.

Re: A little bummed

i am sooo sorry about her... she is always with you every step u take... she is always watching you...