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Future Mulligan
always & forever
Member since 7/07 8180 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/5/2008 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
The Dome Room at Jericho Terrace
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Invite Drama
did you ever tell someone repeatedly to save the date for your wedding and then you didn't invite them?!??!
i'm just curious how often it happens b/c the topic came up last night while with some friends, i didnt think it happened but i guess it does!
we were really careful when sending out stds because of this - alot of past liw brides told me to be very selective when sending them out - so we only sent them to family....
Message edited 8/29/2008 10:44:36 AM.
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Posted 8/29/08 10:44 AM 
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jennarose023
I'm the new Mrs. Po!!!
Member since 1/08 2514 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/18/2008 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Gurney's Inn
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Re: Invite Drama
sorta happened to us...
we sent a STD to one of FH friend's mother since she always invites us to everything...well a few months ago he and his mom had a huge falling out and haven't been speaking (geez since march i think) so we decided that we were no longer going to send her an invite to the wedding...don't need any extra drama, apparently the can't even be in the same room together....
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Posted 8/29/08 10:49 AM
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roan126
Mrs. P.
Member since 4/07 3341 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/4/2008 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Royalton
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Re: Invite Drama
Once you send someone a STD, there is no good way to get out of inviting them to the wedding.
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Posted 8/29/08 10:49 AM
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Future Mulligan
always & forever
Member since 7/07 8180 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/5/2008 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
The Dome Room at Jericho Terrace
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Re: Invite Drama
Posted by jennarose023
sorta happened to us...
we sent a STD to one of FH friend's mother since she always invites us to everything...well a few months ago he and his mom had a huge falling out and haven't been speaking (geez since march i think) so we decided that we were no longer going to send her an invite to the wedding...don't need any extra drama, apparently the can't even be in the same room together....
this i can understand - if there was a personal problem that makes sense, i am sure that your FMILS friend (ex friend i guess) isn't expecting an invitation anymore.....
we were talking about if there wasn't really a reason behind it....
the only thing i could come up with was maybe b/c of money being tight
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Posted 8/29/08 10:52 AM
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jessnstu08
Loving my DH more each day
Member since 1/08 2381 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/13/2008 7:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Royalton
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Re: Invite Drama
I only did that to one couple who were my fathers friends , and he instructed me not to send one out , he wouldn't tell me why though....
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Posted 8/29/08 10:52 AM
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jennarose023
I'm the new Mrs. Po!!!
Member since 1/08 2514 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/18/2008 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Gurney's Inn
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Re: Invite Drama
not FMIL's friend....FH friends mother...lol all these damn acronyms get confusing...
money could def be an issue...or maybe they forgot...
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Posted 8/29/08 10:54 AM
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Future Mulligan
always & forever
Member since 7/07 8180 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/5/2008 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
The Dome Room at Jericho Terrace
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Re: Invite Drama
Posted by jennarose023
not FMIL's friend....FH friends mother...lol all these damn acronyms get confusing...
money could def be an issue...or maybe they forgot...
ohh i got confused - i understand now its your FH's friends mom - gotcha
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Posted 8/29/08 10:57 AM
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AllyDrew1108
GAME OVER!
Member since 9/07 2376 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/8/2008 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
The Riviera
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Re: Invite Drama
Looking back now, I am soooo glad I only sent STD to family and long time friends. Ha ha! We ended up inviting a lot of people I didn't plan on inviting, but still- better safe than sorry!
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Posted 8/29/08 11:01 AM
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jennarose023
I'm the new Mrs. Po!!!
Member since 1/08 2514 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/18/2008 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Gurney's Inn
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Re: Invite Drama
it's like...who's on first...
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Posted 8/29/08 11:02 AM
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Future Mulligan
always & forever
Member since 7/07 8180 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/5/2008 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
The Dome Room at Jericho Terrace
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Re: Invite Drama
Posted by jennarose023
not FMIL's friend....FH friends mother...lol all these damn acronyms get confusing...
money could def be an issue...or maybe they forgot...
i dont know, if i wasnt invited to someones wedding i dont think i would be insulted b/c i know that weddings are expensive and i know that a lot times people limit it to VERY close family and friends - which is totally understandable.....what would insult me is if the person blabbed about the wedding and insinuated that i was invited, or if they sent me an std, or told me to save the date and then i didnt get an invitation - that is more where the conversation was headed.....i was just wondering how often people might un-invite someone for what the only reason i could see is money?
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Posted 8/29/08 11:02 AM
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Future Mulligan
always & forever
Member since 7/07 8180 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/5/2008 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
The Dome Room at Jericho Terrace
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Re: Invite Drama
Posted by AllyDrew1108
Looking back now, I am soooo glad I only sent STD to family and long time friends. Ha ha! We ended up inviting a lot of people I didn't plan on inviting, but still- better safe than sorry!
exactly - i dont even know why we sent them at all - i just thought they were cute and wanted to get them but we didnt send them to friends/coworkers/bosses - b/c you never know what might happen down the line - you might leave your job, or end a friendship.....so we were pretty careful
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Posted 8/29/08 11:05 AM
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jennarose023
I'm the new Mrs. Po!!!
Member since 1/08 2514 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/18/2008 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Gurney's Inn
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Re: Invite Drama
Posted by Future Mulligan
Posted by jennarose023
not FMIL's friend....FH friends mother...lol all these damn acronyms get confusing...
money could def be an issue...or maybe they forgot...
i dont know, if i wasnt invited to someones wedding i dont think i would be insulted b/c i know that weddings are expensive and i know that a lot times people limit it to VERY close family and friends - which is totally understandable.....what would insult me is if the person blabbed about the wedding and insinuated that i was invited, or if they sent me an std, or told me to save the date and then i didnt get an invitation - that is more where the conversation was headed.....i was just wondering how often people might un-invite someone for what the only reason i could see is money?
Honestly, i can't really think of a good reason...no class...lol...you got me on this one!
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Posted 8/29/08 11:20 AM
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eleven29bride
getting really nervous...
Member since 8/07 1171 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/29/2008 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Bayview House
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Re: Invite Drama
I wish I never sent those stupid things. FH now does not want to invite about 5-6 friends that we sent STD's to. I dont really care, because I have never met these people, and prob never will (we live in FL), so I am not overly concerned. I know it's tacky.. but its up to him.
I wouldnt dare do that to anyone. I was very selective about who i sent them to on my side of friends/family. He just got over zealous and insisted on sending them to everyone he has ever known. oh well,, call us tacky. We are that couple who is uninviting a few people.... 
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Posted 8/29/08 10:25 PM
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MKEA98
I'm married!
Member since 9/07 1278 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/7/2008 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
The Sand Castle
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Re: Invite Drama
Posted by Future Mulligan
i dont know, if i wasnt invited to someones wedding i dont think i would be insulted b/c i know that weddings are expensive and i know that a lot times people limit it to VERY close family and friends - which is totally understandable.....what would insult me is if the person blabbed about the wedding and insinuated that i was invited, or if they sent me an std, or told me to save the date and then i didnt get an invitation - that is more where the conversation was headed.....i was just wondering how often people might un-invite someone for what the only reason i could see is money?
I agree - I wouldn't be insulted about not being invited to someone's wedding, because I do understand how expensive it is (I'd only be insulted if it was a very close friend or family member though). But I'd probably be insulted if someone insinuated I'd be invited, or sent me a STD. I think if you send a STD, you're sort of obligated to then invite the person to the wedding. Otherwise, that's total awkwardness.
Because there were so many people I was uncertain about when we got engaged, we just never did STDs. It was probably for the best because I went back and forth over a few people I had known since high school, and in the end decided not to invite them because I haven't spoken to them at all this past year. I was worrying in the beginning too much about what if I send to one of my friends, and then one of the people I'm iffy about is at my friend's place and sees the magnet and then knows how magnets went out but they didn't get one, and what if I did eventually invite them to the wedding, etc. It was just too stressful so I decided not to send them.
The only situation I know of where someone sent a STD, but then didn't invite some of those people, happened recently with my friend, who I think has a good reason. Her wedding is actually this weekend, and her father unexpectingly passed away 2 months ago. Because of this, they changed things around with the wedding, and I think they decided to take on the expense of paying for it rather than leaving her mom to pay for it all (originally I think it was both her parents paying). Because of this, she said how she cut back the guest list, and called people to apologize about sending the STD, but how now she's not having a big huge wedding like planned, and she said people were very nice about it. I think because of the circumstances no one would get mad at her.
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Posted 8/29/08 10:42 PM
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kristin597
Married!!
Member since 1/07 1521 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/13/2008 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace
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Re: Invite Drama
We only gave stds to people at our engagement party since we knew we would be inviting them all to the wedding. I did get a std though from an old friend and then never got an invitation. It was a bit rude I thought.
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Posted 8/30/08 12:12 AM
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wundmoretime
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 1/08 1564 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/20/2008 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Invite Drama
to one cousin-on purpose. I sent the std last year then found out he was getting married this year shortly after me and I was on the B list  so I didn't send an invite. Then I got a std, months after they went out.  did not know what to do, so I didn't send an invite.
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Posted 8/30/08 12:30 AM
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