Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

The money/bills post got me thinking a bit about our plans and how I don't really see other posts talking about this...

FH and I plan to wait a few years for kids, and then for him to scale back to more of part time work preferably at home, in order to take care of the kid(s).

Is there anyone else out there with the same idea? FH is pretty down with it. There have been times since we have been living together where he wasn't working, and he really enjoyed taking care of the stuff around the house, cooking dinner, running errands, etc.

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

In this economy, I think both will be working, but perhaps at some point, Debi will be quitting to have a baby!!!! Mary MOB

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

My FH is a police officer, so we will probably both need to work once we have kids to pay the bills. But if anyone will stay home, I would want to For a few years anyway, while the kids were little..we'll see what happens!!

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

FH and I have talked about this a lot and he'll likely be a stay-at-home dad, at least for a few years. I'm a little scared by it, knowing that I'll be the only financially supporting our family, but it just makes the best sense for us.

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

Kids are not a top priority for us, but if/when we do have children, we'll both still have to work

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

FH is a firefighter - so he's home most days of the week...so I'll probably work part-time and he'll stay home with the kids the rest of the week.

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

FH has his own business so he wouldn't be able to stay home. I would like to stay at home but that's highly unlikely unless I start a business and run it out of the house. Which it is something I would love to do.

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

We both intend to work. I think both of us are the kind of people who couldn't stay at home. We are the "want to have it all type". The carreer, the kids, the social life. That is something we have in common! I know people feel differently about nanny's and day care - for us it is just something we forsee in our future. Granted, I intend to scale back my carreer for our children as i work incredibly long hours now.

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

I know FH would like to be a stay-at-home dad, lol, but since I am going to be teaching, I doubt we would be able to afford and live the lifestyle that we would prefer to live.

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

FH and I both work right now. I am the type that has to be busy so work is for me. However, I am old fashioned and when I have kids they will be my priority. I will plan to work part time or 3 12 hour shifts. Luckily my company has many options to balance work and life if need be.

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

I'm hoping FH can support us. I really want to be a stay at home mom. It breaks my heart to see the women here with kids running out at 7 to see their kids just for a few moments before they fall asleep. That wouldn't be enough for me. But I hope we can afford it!

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

I wont be trusting him to be at home with the kids. i have a picture in my head of coming home after a long day and see my kids ducted taped to the wall!

fh is threatening every kid we know with that, when they get out of control.

Message edited 8/14/2008 4:40:29 PM.

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

I don't think either of us will be staying home. I know I will be staying home as long as I could but don't think we will be able to afford me not working at all...

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

I think at first I'll be home with the baby but then we're both going to be working, luckily my mom is dying to babysit her grandkids so I will have someone to watch them when I go back to work.

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

We've already agreed that I'll be the stay at home mommy..I look forward to this so much!!! I've always said "When I grow up I want to be a mom" lolz

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

We have talked about this topic in depth.
I'll be a stay at home mommy.
He wants his wife raising his kids, plus he makes
the $$ so he will be working.

I can't wait!

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

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Posted by Kristina2009

We both intend to work. I think both of us are the kind of people who couldn't stay at home. We are the "want to have it all type". The carreer, the kids, the social life. That is something we have in common! I know people feel differently about nanny's and day care - for us it is just something we forsee in our future. Granted, I intend to scale back my carreer for our children as i work incredibly long hours now.

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Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

I think both FH and I will have to work in today's economy, especially living on Long Island. But FH is a firefighter in NYC and works 24 hours shifts and then is home for awhile. He will also have a side business but for the most part he would rather stay home and take care of the kids rather than putting them in day care.

As for me, a teacher's schedule is the closest thing to being a stay at home mom!!

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

NO, and i wouldn't expect Dh to do this. He has been with his company for 9 years and they love him and are real good to him. Even recently he got an amazing promotion. Before this promotion he would get home around 2-3pm which was great but now he stays a little bit later, but still gets home anywhere from 4-6pm. After a few years he will be able to get out early like he used to. But i want him to stay with this company

In the past i would've said that maybe i would like to stay home with the kids for a short period of time but now i realize that no this will not happen. Ive been out of work this summer and first of all I HATE IT! i want to get back to work, after 3 recruiters i finally saw one today that is promising and might have something soon the biggest thing i did learn from this is that in todays world its HARD to live off of 1 income. Dh makes very good money but still with all the expenses out there its just very different than when you have 2 incomes. I think about how hard it is now and i cant imagine if we had kids how much harder it will be. Its one thing when theres just 2 of us, and it gets expensive but with a kid or kids you can have double the expenses. Its funny bc i used to just think about the fact of staying home with the kids, but now that im out of work i think ok its hard living off of 1 income with just 2 of us, how was i planning on doing this if we also had kids which would mean more expenses. Things always come up, you can sit there and calculate your bills every month exactly but added expenses come along. Even just this summer we've had or are coming up in in just a few short weeks: 1 eparty, 2 bridal showers, 5 weddings, 1 baby shower, 1 bachelorette party, birthday parties and more. So even things such as events can make a big difference trust me, and many other expected things. Then to add on top of that, Mortgage/rent, gas, cable, phone/cell phone bills, car payments, insurance, groceries(even this is so expensive now), gas for your car lol, and then when you have kids all the expenses you will need for them such as diapers, clothes, bottles and their dozen of necessities.

As much as i would love to stay home with the kids, if i do it will be just for a short period of time. Even if i have to work part-time at first for a while until they get a little bit older. We also have our parents who will be able to take care of our children in the future so its easier for us, i know some dont have this option so i can see why it would be a hard decision.

Message edited 8/14/2008 3:02:10 PM.

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

Well since FH owns his own business he will always work (even though he is a silen partner). But he is also an NYPD Det. & they have to put in their 20 yrs. He already has half of it. So why stop him now. For me being a comptroller i can do it when ever where ever. Numbers never change. lol

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

My FH can work from home if he wants and more than likely by the time we are ready to have kids he'll be running the department so he can stay home for sure. However, we've already discussed it and I plan on taking a 3 year child care leave when we have children. More than likely I'll do in home care while I am home but if not we are already preparing for me to be home with the kids. Our moms were both home when we were growing up so this is something very important to us

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

FH doesn't have to be at his office much cause he owns all 3 stores but i can't say he enjoys cooking or cleaning. he enjoys it when we do it together but i can't see it happening when he's alone. and i really don't think he'd like to be a stay at home dad alone either simply becasue he was never really around kids. i'd probably be the one cutting back to stay home and raise the kids. and hopefully venture out to some other businesses.

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

Both of our jobs require us to work until at least 5 or 6 and durring certain months FH works very late (9-10pm). I really want to stay home but with what FH makes as of now it can't be possible. If he leaves his job in 4 years he can make a lot more money so that's always an option. But I know I really want to stay home and if that means buying a smaller place, having only 1 car, or whatever we are going to try and manage.

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

Not in our household - he works 6 days a week (70-80 hours) a week now as it is.. Once I graduate I will work 3 12 hour shifts.. so it will be me primarily at home with kid/kids..

Re: Will FH be a stay-at-home dad?

We are moving 2 weeks after we get married down south to be closer to my Mom so she can help out. I want kids right away, but I want a house also. I plan on working for a year or 2 then being a stay at home Mom!!

FH fully supports this plan.