How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

I posted this awhile ago. I dont call my MIL "mom"
I tried it once and dont feel comfortable. Dont get me wrong, I love her a lot, and my mom called her in- laws mom/dad, but I just cant find it in me to call her that.
I only have one mom. That is just my opinion.

Message edited 2/18/2003 2:58:57 PM.

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

How weird that you posted this ! I Was going to post the same thing ! My mom and I were talking about it this morning. She was saying how years ago it SHOCKED and OFFENDED her or anyone in her family if they heard about someone that DIDNT call their inlaws MOM or DAD. Now she is not phased by it.

I sometimes call my MIL "ma" but to me, my mom is MA and thats it. I have one mother and one only !
I adore my MIL and have no problem calling her "MOM" or "ma" but to me it just will always feel a little weird.

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

I don't. I would like to but I feel like it would hurt my mom and dad. They are very sensitive about my "new family".

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

I do. My inlaws insist on it. It took me while to get used to. But we are all family, so my paretns aren't upset that I have another set of parents.

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

I call them by their first names. Well I have only seen my FIL 3 times so I don't call him anything really. My MIL is very nice, but I have 2 moms already (my mom and stepmom). Scott also calls my parents by their first names.

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

no way. I call his mom miss P and I call his dad G

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

I call my MIL "mom" but my FIL by his first name. My situation is different however-my own mother passed away some time ago and it's nice to have that word back in my vocabulary!

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

I try and get around it, it does feel weird. Gary, on the other hand, was calling my Mom "Mom" many years ago and now has begun to call my Dad "Dad", he is so comfortable with it and I love that. I wish it was easier with me with his parents but my parents live below us and we see them so much more often.

I am with you Anna in calling my own mother, "Ma", that would be hard to call my MIL "Ma" now too.

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

Nope! Personally, I could never address anyone 'mom' or 'dad' unless they were my actual mom and dad! LOL I call them by their first names.

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

DH and I call each other's parent's by their first name. But neither of us are really comfortable doing that yet, so we really don't call them anything!

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

I don't and I never plan to call them mom or dad.

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

I call my MIL Mom sometimes-she's got five children & several grandchilder & great children so I don't think she phased either way. The kids call her Grandma Marie, so we often refer to her as that. My FIL passed away, but from what I've heard about him-he would have asked me to call him Dad!
Rich always jokes about calling my very snobbish, manly Dad "Daddy" Which I would pee my pants if he ever did. He's on a first names basis w/ my parents. We call my Mom Grandma Karen alot too.
When the kids get involved we become Mom & Dad & our parents go up to the next level
Rich calls my little grandma "Gram"-she loves him, she says he looks like he could have been one of my Grandpa's brothers!

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

Last year after we were engaged his parents sent us cards for something and they wrote Love, Mom & Dad on his card but on mine they put their first names...so I took that as a hint and I call them by their first names.

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

Too funny, I got a manicure this weekend and the nail girl was asking me the same thing. She said in China everyone calls them mom and dad and was surprised with my response. Teri, I have the same exact feeling as you do. I can't call them mom or dad. They aren't my mom and dad. I really try not to address them..which is even more awkward. I will write mom and dad in Christmas cards and stuff but in person I can't... They never said to call them by their first names either and Mrs. XYZ is too formal .. so I just avoid it.

Every now and then I have caught my MIL struglle with it as well...when she goes to address her husband in a story or something to me...it is funny but sad.

Although DH and I never discuss this topic I can tell he avoids it with my family as well. My mom and dad have pleaded with him to call them by their first names since we began dating like 7 years ago but he can't do it. He was always brought up saying Mr and Mrs and my parents absolutely hate being called Mr and Mrs so instead DH doesn't say anything.

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

No, and for the same reason as Teri.

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

as I read Terri's post I remember we got a Christmas card and it was signed from Mom and Dad. Now I think about it, Roger calls my mother mom and my step dad by his first name. I guess its the reception people get from the other person.

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

so far, I've avoided calling them anything. They're called "mommy" and "poppy" by their children. I just can't get myself to say mommy. Poppy I could handle, but then whet do I call her? I'd like to just call her Angie, but I fear she'd be offended.

Al calls my parents mom & dad - his choice.

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

Rob loves my parents and calls them Mom and Dad, but for me, it's so hard. I do try to call his Mom, "Mom" but I don't say anything to his dad ... like Niecey, I avoid it if I can. In cards, his Dad signs "Dad", and in cards I will write "Dad", but in person, I just can't do it!

I just don't feel that closeness with his Dad! And I feel I only have one Mom, but she tries so hard and Rob does call my mom, "mom", so I try with her!!!

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

I am sorry but I am only calling my parents mom and dad. I call them by their first names. My husband and his sisters have always called them by their first names too, never mom or dad. However, he calls my mom Ms. Marl (for Marilyn) and Mr. Ossie (for Oswald). It kinda cute because he is the only one that call them that.

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

I call his mom 'mom' and his dad 'dad'. I am very comfy with his parents.

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

Niecey, that is the same with my parents. My DH is still stuck in the Mr and Mrs so and so. His mother has never discussed this with me at all. My mom always jokes with him to correct him to call her by her first name. Since I have been married, I dont know what to call his mother. I guess until she says something it would be MRs so and so. Very doo, but that is just the way it is.

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

I dont, I call them by their first names. My DH doesn't know what to call my mother though - he would call her mom but I think she gave him a funny look once when he did ( only cause it's new to her). Now he flip flops between her name or nothing.

With "adults" I have known since I was a kid I always use Mr & Mrs. Some of them have even said you can call me by my first name and my response was "Oh No, Mrs. So & So, I could never do that"

People I met as an adult I call by their first names.

Message edited 2/18/2003 9:44:59 PM.

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

My MIL would be very upset if I called her anything BUT "Mom". It still feels weird though, even though we have a very close relationship. Sometimes I find myself just trying to get her attention some other way (like catching her eye) instead of calling out "mom" -- it's very awkward. But when I give her cards, I address them to "mom" and she signs her cards "mom".

The biggest problem is calling her"mom" when she is in the same room with MY mom!!!

I think, in time, it will become easier. It's just an adjustment - like getting used to the new last name!

Re: How many of you call your MIL or FIL mom and dad?

My DH and I were friends for 4 years before we actually started dating...so I always called his mom by her first name and he always called my mom by her first name. I talked about this recently with my sisters.... I'm not comfortable calling my MIL 'mom' just cause I never have. I think once we have children maybe that'll change. I call her Grandma then