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Espo22
Mrs. Espo
Member since 11/06 48929 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/17/2008 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace
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Re: Card/ Money Box - is it a rude cultural shock???
Posted by vicky1125
i'm russian as well so i understand where you're coming from. my FH is as well but his family has been here longer so they're more americanized. his sister asked me if i was going to register and i asked her if she was crazy cause the only people that would buy anything from the registry would be her in laws. honestly, it's your wedding and she shouldn't be ashamed of your traditions and if she is, too bad.
everyone even in NY still registers bc of the bridal shower
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Posted 6/17/08 12:50 PM 
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Espo22
Mrs. Espo
Member since 11/06 48929 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/17/2008 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace
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Re: Card/ Money Box - is it a rude cultural shock???
I had a cardbox, and have seen it at every wedding ive been to. To me it was normal so thats why i got one. I didnt hear ppl thinking it was rude or anything like that until ive seen others on LIW ask about this. I never thought of it as rude.
The cardbox isnt just for guests to go put it in there themselves bc most of my guests handed it personally to me, more than half. The point was so i have somewhere i can put it after and didnt want to leave it with a family member to be in charge or anything. They should be having fun instead of watching my envelopes
also doesnt mean you dont say hi to the guests. Even though i had a cardbox, i went around to each and every table and say hello to every single guest
eta: yes at NY weddings guests give money. At my wedding not one person gave a gift. The only gifts we received were those sent to our house from guests who rsvp'd no. The day of not one gift, and ive NEVER been to a wedding where any guests brought a gift, it was only money they gave
Message edited 6/17/2008 12:54:38 PM.
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Posted 6/17/08 12:52 PM
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Espo22
Mrs. Espo
Member since 11/06 48929 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/17/2008 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace
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Re: Card/ Money Box - is it a rude cultural shock???
Posted by Annoulak
FH and I are Greek, and even though our families have lived in America for a long time, we're not used to having card boxes. The first time I saw one was last year at a non-Greek friend's wedding.
In the Greek-American community, cards with money are given, but they are usually given directly to the couple at the end of the evening so that you can wish the couple happiness, etc. And it is at that time that the favor is also given. So, for us it was a bit of culture shock to drop the envelope impersonally into the box and have nothing to give to the couple when we said goodbye at the end of the night.
for next time you see this, know that you dont have to put it in the box, you can still give it to the couple...even though i went to weddings with a cardbox i still gave it to the couple...my wedding it was the same thing, about 70% if not more of our guests handed it to us personally. The cardbox for me was a place where i can keep the envelopes, not so guests dont give it to me personally. I preferred after receiving envelopes to put it in a box, rather than a bag where anybody can take envelopes from out of there...ive heard horror stories about envelopes being stolen at weddings so didnt want to take that chance. At my e-party my mom had a bag and kept it by her side at the table. I felt horrible bc she felt she kept having to watch it and when she got up someone else had to keep an eye on it...on my wedding day i didnt want anybody to have any responsibilities but just to have fun. I also had to worry about envelopes and would keep watching the bag at my e-party. And not to mention DH lost 4 of our envelopes at the e-party
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Posted 6/17/08 1:00 PM
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Espo22
Mrs. Espo
Member since 11/06 48929 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/17/2008 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace
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Re: Card/ Money Box - is it a rude cultural shock???
Posted by NYCGirl2008
Maybe it's a local thing as I am from Westchester and no one does it. I have noticed from reading this board that there are a lot of local customs all you guys do which I have never heard of or never seen at a wedding (we also don't do cake toppers for example!).
traditions are different throughout the world, different doesnt mean its tacky. I also think some people dont understand the meaning of it...people do NOT get cardboxes bc they dont want for a guest to give it to them personally lol. The truth is that in NY guests give money, since this is our tradition then envelopes do have to be kept somewhere, i mean otherwise what would the couple do with all the envelopes? keep it on the table? some people use a money bag, others use a cardbox, birdcage or something.
I dont see why anybody would think that bc there is a cardbox at a wedding means you cant give it to the couple. Like i said, i went around to EVERY single table at my wedding and said hello to every single guest. Some gave it to me when i went around to the table to say hello. I would hold a few in my hand and then run to the cardbox to quickly deposit it in there, so i can put the envelopes in a safe place plus not to mention that i didnt want to go to all the tables while im carrying a bunch of envelopes, we went to all the tables at one time and did one after another, if i had no where to put the envelopes then we wouldve been going up to every table with a bunch of envelopes in our hands. Then there were many guests who came up to me when they were leaving to say goodbye and handed it to me then, infact towards the end of the night a line formed to say goodbye to us so i said hello and goodbye to every guest. WHen i bought a cardbox, the thought of guests not giving it to me personally never crossed my mind and wasnt the intention.
The truth is that my ONLY concern was where to keep the envelopes safely. One of my bm's went to a wedding where the entire money bag got stolen. Others have had a few envelopes stolen. SO i figured with a big cardbox, it would be hard to walk out of the hall without people realizing so that was my reason for it. For e-party i had no cardbox or money bag and it was the most annoying thing...not one guest brought a gift, it was all envelopes. I had this big gift bag i brought an extra pair of shoes in and put it all in there. Somebody always had to watch it
Message edited 6/17/2008 1:10:49 PM.
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Posted 6/17/08 1:09 PM
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flairforfashion
~'09 Most Outgoing~
Member since 10/07 8100 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/24/2009 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
North Ritz Club
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Re: Card/ Money Box - is it a rude cultural shock???
I don't see a card box as a rude thing. It's just a safe place to put all the cards into. Years ago- it was a bag- now it's transformed into a card box, chest, or even birdcages.
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Posted 6/17/08 1:12 PM
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mariana881
Board Fanatic
Member since 2/08 646 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/16/2008 9:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Card/ Money Box - is it a rude cultural shock???
I'm Russian as well...we are doing a cardbox but our guestlist is also about 90% Russian so everyone knows to bring money. I dont think it is tacky at all and seems to be the norm in our culture. Its difficult when you start mixing cultures because different norms and traditions can clash with one another.
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Posted 6/17/08 1:45 PM
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bkposh
Board Fanatic
Member since 3/08 761 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/1/2009 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Card/ Money Box - is it a rude cultural shock???
i have yet to go to a wedding that has a card box or a gift table. I have always handed the envelope to either the bride or groom at some point during the reception.
I am Romanian and I dont think most of my family would even understand what the box was for unless i specifically told them, I even think some might be offended.
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Posted 6/17/08 2:01 PM
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Espo22
Mrs. Espo
Member since 11/06 48929 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/17/2008 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace
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Re: Card/ Money Box - is it a rude cultural shock???
Posted by bkposh
i have yet to go to a wedding that has a card box or a gift table. I have always handed the envelope to either the bride or groom at some point during the reception.
I am Romanian and I dont think most of my family would even understand what the box was for unless i specifically told them, I even think some might be offended.
i am romanian and there was no problem. Like i said above, the purpose of the box isnt so guests dont give it to you personally, most still give it to you personally but the cardbox is a place where you can put the cards after and not worry about it.
Mine was behind my table so many didnt even pay attention to it or see it, i had some people who told me they thought it was another cake, since my real cake was right by it and were asking me if it was another cake. I went and said hello to everyone at the tables so thats when people gave it to me personally or when they came up to say goodbye to me.
Message edited 6/17/2008 2:14:23 PM.
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Posted 6/17/08 2:13 PM
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carolinebr
Hello ladies
Member since 9/06 3167 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/2/2007 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Atlantica
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Re: Card/ Money Box - is it a rude cultural shock???
If its a pretty box, its fine. If it has a flashing red arrow that says "DEPOSITS HERE", its rude.
But, you still go from table to table. The box doesn't get you out of that
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Posted 6/17/08 2:43 PM
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jessnstu08
Loving my DH more each day
Member since 1/08 2439 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/13/2008 7:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Royalton
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Re: Card/ Money Box - is it a rude cultural shock???
Posted by carolinebr
If its a pretty box, its fine. If it has a flashing red arrow that says "DEPOSITS HERE", its rude.
But, you still go from table to table. The box doesn't get you out of that
well said! 
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Posted 6/17/08 3:13 PM
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beram63
need a ceremony venue!
Member since 8/07 3418 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/11/2009 6:15 PM
Wed. Location:
West Sayville Country Club
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Re: Card/ Money Box - is it a rude cultural shock???
what culture is her family from? not for nothing, but when in rome...
i would just put it out and let people do what they're going to do. the cardbox is a convenience for guests.
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Posted 6/17/08 5:06 PM
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CD516
Board Fanatic
Member since 5/08 360 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/16/2008 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Swan Club A+++++++
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Re: Card/ Money Box - is it a rude cultural shock???
My mom was completely against me having a card box too, and to be quite honest, i have never ever seen one at a wedding(but maybe i just wasnt looking). I am not a fan of them. i think gifts should be handed to the bride and groom.. JMO. I dont know if it has to do with nationality so much, i think its just preference.
Message edited 6/17/2008 6:57:42 PM.
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Posted 6/17/08 6:54 PM
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Newsysuzy12
Board Fanatic
Member since 5/08 485 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/26/2008 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Montauk Yacht Club
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Re: Card/ Money Box - is it a rude cultural shock???
Hmmm I still don't get this.
If I bought someone a blender, I would not expect to hand it to them at the reception!
I really don't see what the difference is, but as we have all learned weddings are the land of mysterious social traditions.
Maybe with money, since the gift is less personal, it is odd not to give it in person???
I went to a wedding in Florida where the couple opened the gifts at the wedding...that seemed really odd to me, but nobody else blinked an eye.
Message edited 6/17/2008 8:08:28 PM.
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Posted 6/17/08 8:06 PM
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JoanneAndJustin
Whoo!
Member since 5/08 2252 total posts
Wedding Date:
3/20/2010 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Fox Hollow - Winter Garden Pavillion
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Re: Card/ Money Box - is it a rude cultural shock???
I will probably do a card box and meet/greet everyone who came to my wedding, when I am done saying hello to them I will deposit my gifts in the box. That way no one gets offended :)
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Posted 6/17/08 9:52 PM
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Mici n KC
Married!!
Member since 11/04 11938 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/12/2008 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace
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Re: Card/ Money Box - is it a rude cultural shock???
I think you should do a photocube. It's small and it's photos of you and FH.
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Posted 6/17/08 10:11 PM
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