A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

How does the amount of $$$ you got in wedding gifts compare to the total cost of your wedding? (not including rings or honeymoon)

I always hear people talking about trying to "cover their plate" but there are lots of other expenses too. I'm guessing the average will be in the 65-75 range but I'm really curious

Disclaimer: yes, I know weddings aren't money-making ventures and guests arent supposed to pay for themselves etc. I'm just curious, and where else can you ask this kind of stuff?

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

we paid our entire wedding ourselves and after all was said we made money. VERY RARE!!!!!!

But we are very gracious to our families and guest who really were so kind to us. We also got 8 couplse who didn't come and didn't send a card (we paid all ready for their meals) so with that we really have amazing family.

We are using it to pay for the HM, some credit card debt and then we should have a good chunk to put away and forget about for a year until we figure out if we can save enough for a house. But we would probably have to move out of state for that.

Just a FYI - the people who gave the most were typically the people you didn't think would give you anything and the people who you thought were going to give the most didn't.

Message edited 4/5/2008 12:43:51 PM.

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

I think nowadays... wedding venues have gotten a lot more expensive per plate... a lot start at $130 and above.. so I don't think the AVERAGE person even "covers" their plate anymore. I usually give $300 per couple, but I've heard that older guests even family do not give that much.
If a bride chooses a very expensive venue such as Oheka Castle.. I dont' think they would or should expect guests to even cover the plate. JMO.

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

My parents actually told me "invite more people, you'll make more money off the wedding"

Ughh, I rather pay for a wedding with people I like...

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

bump bump ...

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

We didnt totally cover our wedding expenses but we did practically break even

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

---

Posted by nifheim

Just a FYI - the people who gave the most were typically the people you didn't think would give you anything and the people who you thought were going to give the most didn't.

---

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

Most people say that you will never make the money back...especially if you are paying an extravagent price....I agree that you should cover your plate but within reason. I would never be able to afford covering my plate at Atlantica in July on a saturday night! So...I don't know yet how we will do...

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

I didn't realize the spread would be so even. I guess there is a lot of variation because of off-season or non-Sat night weddings -- the cost probably fluctuates a lot more than the gifts people give.

pretty wild how balanced it is.

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

We made about 65% back of what we spent, this including everything that DH's parents paid for as well.

DH's parents paid for the RH (including ceremony) so that was the big ticket thing that we didn't have to pay for ourselves.

If you only count the things that we paid for ourselves then yes we MADE MONEY!
People were very generous and only about 5 people actually bought us real gifts as opposed to check/cash gifts.

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

---

Posted by bluegreen08

I didn't realize the spread would be so even. I guess there is a lot of variation because of off-season or non-Sat night weddings -- the cost probably fluctuates a lot more than the gifts people give.

pretty wild how balanced it is.

---

Message edited 4/5/2008 2:21:32 PM.

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

---

Posted by nifheim

---

Posted by bluegreen08

I didn't realize the spread would be so even. I guess there is a lot of variation because of off-season or non-Sat night weddings -- the cost probably fluctuates a lot more than the gifts people give.

pretty wild how balanced it is.

---

Yea that is the issue - when you planned your wedding do you go all out and for broke or do you fit with in a budget that is good for your income. I mean I know people who paid $175 per head at a top notch catering hall, invited the world and it was at peak season. Then used every dime of money they got back to pay off debt from the wedding and they had to sell a car and take a loan out for their wedding. Both of these people make double if not more then fh and i and they are sitting in more debt then us.

One reason I kinda make fun of people who go beyond what they make for the sake of a "party" - it means more for them to have people walking away going "OH MY GOD" then "such a pretty wedding" and having to be broke and in debt for years.

---

Message edited 4/5/2008 2:36:52 PM.

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

i think it depends on the type of guests you have..at least half of ours were OOT family on DH's side...they spent less (understandably) and bought registry items, we also got 3 gifts of art (his family is very talented)...but they all had to travel & pay for hotels, airfare, etc...we didn't even come close to "breaking even"...but we didn't budget our wedding on how much we'd "make" in gifts...just basically accepted the fact that the $ we spent was gone..haha

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

This is a good post... we've been wondering the same thing.

I know I'll definitely be upping the amount I give at weddings in the future... covering your plate really doesn't do it. But, as everyone else is saying, you can't be expected to cover the cost of a crazy over the top wedding either... but people who have those weddings don't expect to make it back.

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

---

Posted by tcotier

This is a good post... we've been wondering the same thing.

I know I'll definitely be upping the amount I give at weddings in the future... covering your plate really doesn't do it. But, as everyone else is saying, you can't be expected to cover the cost of a crazy over the top wedding either... but people who have those weddings don't expect to make it back.

---

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

since my parents are paying for a lot of the wedding..we will hopefully make a profit...from what i hear you usually see about 1/2 of what you paid

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

---

Posted by Bride 2 Be

since my parents are paying for a lot of the wedding..we will hopefully make a profit...from what i hear you usually see about 1/2 of what you paid

---

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

---

Posted by tcotier

---

Posted by Bride 2 Be

since my parents are paying for a lot of the wedding..we will hopefully make a profit...from what i hear you usually see about 1/2 of what you paid

---

I'd be happy with 1/2... FH's parents are paying for most of it. 1/2 would be a nice start towards a down payment on a house for us...

---

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

---

Posted by bluegreen08

How does the amount of $$$ you got in wedding gifts compare to the total cost of your wedding? (not including rings or honeymoon)

I always hear people talking about trying to "cover their plate" but there are lots of other expenses too. I'm guessing the average will be in the 65-75 range but I'm really curious

Disclaimer: yes, I know weddings aren't money-making ventures and guests arent supposed to pay for themselves etc. I'm just curious, and where else can you ask this kind of stuff?

---

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

---

Posted by nifheim

---

Posted by bluegreen08

I didn't realize the spread would be so even. I guess there is a lot of variation because of off-season or non-Sat night weddings -- the cost probably fluctuates a lot more than the gifts people give.

pretty wild how balanced it is.

---

Yea that is the issue - when you planned your wedding do you go all out and for broke or do you fit with in a budget that is good for your income. I mean I know people who paid $175 per head at a top notch catering hall, invited the world and it was at peak season. Then used every dime of money they got back to pay off debt from the wedding and they had to sell a car and take a loan out for their wedding. Both of these people make double if not more then fh and i and they are sitting in more debt then us.

One reason I kinda make fun of people who go beyond what they make for the sake of a "party" - it means more for them to have people walking away going "OH MY GOD" then "such a pretty wedding" and having to be broke and in debt for years.

---

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

---

Posted by Espo22

thats why people shouldn't use CC's or so many even get loans. I told FH that we are going to pay just about everything in cash and we practically have. ONLY just recently we put a few things on CC but small items such as garter, rb pillow, cardbox and these are things we had to bc we got it online, alhough its fh's paypal actually and comes straight out of his bank account so nevermind lol. I dont even have anymore cc's i closed all of them and just have my debit card, and fh has CC's but he hasnt really used it for wedding stuff, i think one deposit of $500 for something bc we didnt have cash on us when we booked.

After the wedding i didnt want to pay off the wedding expenses and go into debt. This way what we do get, we can use it towards necessary things

---

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

---

Posted by bluegreen08

---

Posted by Espo22

thats why people shouldn't use CC's or so many even get loans. I told FH that we are going to pay just about everything in cash and we practically have. ONLY just recently we put a few things on CC but small items such as garter, rb pillow, cardbox and these are things we had to bc we got it online, alhough its fh's paypal actually and comes straight out of his bank account so nevermind lol. I dont even have anymore cc's i closed all of them and just have my debit card, and fh has CC's but he hasnt really used it for wedding stuff, i think one deposit of $500 for something bc we didnt have cash on us when we booked.

After the wedding i didnt want to pay off the wedding expenses and go into debt. This way what we do get, we can use it towards necessary things

---

def the right way to do things. CCs can be good if you rack up bonus points or cash back, but not if you are carrying a balance.

i try to use my credit card for groceries and gas because I get 3% cash back for those purchases, 1% on everything else, but I never carry a balance.

---

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

We made back about 1/3.

Most of this was from VERY close family.

Our photog had staggered payments. That helped.

If money is a VERY big issue...pic a daytime wedding at a less expensive place....people, in general, will give a certain amount & not factor in how nice of a place it is, whether you had a Viennese hour, ect.

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

We made back more than 100% of our wedding costs. i am including everythig from my out of twon bags to the hall to the honeymoon.

that said though, i had a FEBRUARY afternoon wedding reception and a reasonably priced hall and we shopped around for reasonably priced vendors.

hwoever, although we made more than the cost of it back, we paid for everything ourselves.... so in that sense, we only made about $8K. If our parents had paid for our wedding, we would have done very nicely.

Re: A Q for the married ladies: Total cost of wedding v. amount of gift $$$$

We got back in gifts a little less than 50% of what we paid for the wedding.