FH doesnt want to be get involved in the wedding planning?

I know FH loves me but.... everytime I ask him to go with me to see a photographer he gets mad. His excuse is that he doesnt have enough time to relax in the week. We are both going to graduate school and he has a saturday class which cuts into his sleep and he gets cranky. he doesnt understand that I want to book the photographer so that we can get the best price and get a good photographer. he thinks that I have time and I shouldnt be doing all of this so soon since we have 19 months till we get married.

Then we started talking about what does he care about in the wedding and his answer......nothing......he could care less about the day.....he says its only a day and he cares about the next 20-30-40 years of being married. I wish he cared a little bit more about the whole thing...but I should have expected this from him. I hear all of you girls and your FH's being excited and involved....is anyone elses FH not involved?

Message edited 2/22/2008 9:27:58 AM.

Re: FH doesnt want to be ger involved in the wedding planning?

Well its a little bit of a different situation for me since FH and I are currently living in NC and planning everything from here, but he's told me pretty much the same thing. I mean he wasn't involved in picking the photographer/videographer or the florist. I ran it by him before I did it but that was it. Though I'm not sure if he would have been so detached if we were on Long Island and actually visiting vendors. I know that this isn't really a guys thing but maybe you should try to talk to him about it and tell him how much it means to you and that you're willing to work around his schedule to go meet with people. I mean because even though the day isn't that important to him he should care because its important to you. Ohh and FH thought I was crazyyyy for booking all of my vendors so early, but when he heard from his good friend who's getting married June 2008 that they tried to get our hall a hear and a half in advance but it was booked already I think we woke up a little!!!! Good luck hun and try not to get too upset over it

Re: FH doesnt want to be ger involved in the wedding planning?

you should let him know that you understand he is busy and he doesn't care much about a wedding, it means alot to you and you want him to be at least a little bit involved....try to schedule things when he is off from school so maybe he won't feel so overwhelmed.

My FH teaches and goes to school at night, so I try to schedule appointments around vacations or days off.....we're waiting until the summer to finish up the bigger planning since we have extra time off

Re: FH doesnt want to be ger involved in the wedding planning?

I dont get upset....I just deal with it since I know its only a day in our lifetime. I try to understand where he is coming from but I was wondering if anyone elses FH is the same way.

I cant and dont want to change him. I love him and his being soooooo laid back.

Re: FH doesnt want to be ger involved in the wedding planning?

Maybe he could compromise with you. Like only being involved with photography, dj and RH, and rest you decide. That is how it is with me. Also too since your wedding is 19 months away it probably still has not become realistic for him. Like with my FH I started planning like you are now and he could care less. He taught I was crazy for planning so early but now that we are approaching 1 year away he has become more involved. Do not get discourage he will change his outlook.

Re: FH doesnt want to be ger involved in the wedding planning?

08er crasher...my fh is the same way! we got in a big fight about it awhile ago but what it comes down to is that hes a guy and just doesnt care...it still bothers me a little but hes gotten a little better since we got in a fight about it...but trust me, u are not alone!!!! boys just stink sometimes

Re: FH doesnt want to be get involved in the wedding planning?

fh is the same way, but his take is that he wil do whatever i want, he wants me to be happy, etc...

and thats fine, for the most part...

but sometimes i would like an opinion...i would like for him to be happy booking so and so....

i feel ya