BP Hair and Shoe Selection? Is is up to the bride? -POLL

OK...so, I am really not a fanatical bride, but I do envision my bridal party in up-dos and also wearing jeweled sandals (they have floor length dresses). I'm only 5'1 and many of my girls are 5'10...I just wanted one day where I felt less short. I also wanted the updos to help keep their hair out of their faces for pics...and I would like to be the only one wearing my hair down. I admire everyone's individuality and I have NO idea where these desires of mine are coming from....but they are what they are. I've had at least 3 BMs complain to me and ask if their hair can be down or if they can wear heels....and quite honestly...I'm getting annoyed. I want them to all feel comfortable too, so I'm not sure how to handle this. What do you all think? Anyone else surprised at themselves too?

Re: BP Hair and Shoe Selection? Is is up to the bride? -POLL

i chose the first option..but thats just my opinion..i just dont care what shoes or hair they have as long as they are happy with it...if u feel differently just tell them...explain why u want them in flats..maybe theyd feel differently

Re: BP Hair and Shoe Selection? Is is up to the bride? -POLL

i would like for them to have the same shoes, but i guess it wont be a big deal if they want different, hairstyles, whatever they want,

Re: BP Hair and Shoe Selection? Is is up to the bride? -POLL

well i am letting them do whatever they want to their hair and wear whatever shoes. Ok first i do have to say that i have NEVER worn sandals to any event so for me not to wear heels to a wedding i would be quite annoyed, just being real honest with you just to give you one perspective, not putting you down. Another thing is that I HATE HATE HATE HATE my hair all up, i have big ears and just don't feel comfortable. Now if the bride really insisted on this and i am close to her then i would have no choice but to suck it up, HOWEVER also remember some dont like to spend money on hair and if its demanded they get their hair done then its also a little harder, unless you're paying for it. Also dont forget that everybodies hair is very different. For me to wear my hair up i would need extensions or something so i would be forced to buy it. I have very thin hair and when i put it up it looks like nothing lol, even if the top is curled it looks like i just have a few curls or something

Now although i would just S*ck it up, only after i would say nicely that i hate wearing flats and hate my hair up but the bride didn't care that i'd just let it go. However, i would want to look nice for my friends wedding and be comfortable, but i would feel uncomfortable and probably wouldn't be happy with the way i look.

I am also the type of person that hates everyone to look alike, i have this very weird thing about. I actually hope the girls wore all sorts of different styles. Its weird but it will freak me out if they all look the same lol. I want the girls to look gorgeous and to for them to feel that way too and comfortable.

Message edited 1/6/2008 8:22:48 PM.

Re: BP Hair and Shoe Selection? Is is up to the bride? -POLL

i was a little shocked at myself because the more i thought about it the more i did want their hair alike.. or simliar.. either all down or all up.. i had been telling them half up and half down.. and i was wearing my hair up..

my MOH had a problem with that because her hair was massive and she neer wore her hair down and it would get all over the place etc etc.. i told her too bad.. get some hair spray.. the stylist would be coming to do her hair.. she complained hse wasn't sure, and could this lady do her hair.. i told her if she had doubts go get a hair trial.. id pay for it.. she didn't so she's SOL..

NOW.. i've decided to wear my hair down, so they get to wear their hair in a low bun so she should be fine with that.. shoes i'm not so concerned with but hair, yeah i want their hair to look alike.

i'm not bridezilla-ish at all.. but heck im' paying for a stylist to come do your hair, then your hair will be done the way i tell the stylist to do it.. end of story..

Re: BP Hair and Shoe Selection? Is is up to the bride? -POLL

I personally feel like I want them to be as happy as possible and feel beautiful so they radiate that beauty and happiness in my pictures! granted, my girls are wearing all different dress styles in addition to different shoes and hair, so I obviously don't have a thing about them looking the same....in fact I'd rather they all look different (like you Espo)...my 5'11" friend is wearing flats b/c she wants to and will be happier, and my 5'2" friend is wearing heels b/c she is more comfortable that way....

Of course I'm sure your friends will suck it up, but my personal taste is that they do what they want, and it will show in their happiness in pics!

Re: BP Hair and Shoe Selection? Is is up to the bride? -POLL

I picked the last one.

I feel like i've been really low maintenance with the wedding planning. I just want everyone to feel like they can be themselves, I let them choose the dresses and don't really have an opinion on hair/makeup/shoes. I think its your own perogative.

I just don't see it as a big deal but as the bride its really up to what you want. Whatever makes you happy. It's your wedding

Re: BP Hair and Shoe Selection? Is is up to the bride? -POLL

JMO, but I'm letting the girls pick their own hairstyles and shoes. I think they'll be happier if they're comfortable.

Re: BP Hair and Shoe Selection? Is is up to the bride? -POLL

I am allowing my girls to pick their own shoe as well as so whatever they want with their hair...i feel like you can just see in pictures if people are unhappy or uncomfortable...and if people are very unhappy you will see it....I agree with Espo that i have never worn flats to any event...and i know people tell me i walk very different and schlumpy when i wear flats compared to heels...that could look bad also....but it's your wedding i just think that if people are paying for shoes and to get their hair done they should be happy with it...

Re: BP Hair and Shoe Selection? Is is up to the bride? -POLL

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Posted by Snick n Nick

I personally feel like I want them to be as happy as possible and feel beautiful so they radiate that beauty and happiness in my pictures! granted, my girls are wearing all different dress styles in addition to different shoes and hair, so I obviously don't have a thing about them looking the same....in fact I'd rather they all look different (like you Espo)...my 5'11" friend is wearing flats b/c she wants to and will be happier, and my 5'2" friend is wearing heels b/c she is more comfortable that way....

Of course I'm sure your friends will suck it up, but my personal taste is that they do what they want, and it will show in their happiness in pics!

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Message edited 1/6/2008 8:32:21 PM.

Re: BP Hair and Shoe Selection? Is is up to the bride? -POLL

As a many-a-time former BM, please don't tell them what shoes to wear or how to wear their hair. Shoes go on THEIR feet, not yours. And THEY have to stand in them all day, not you. Let them wear what THEY are most comfortable in. It is going to be a looooong day for all of you and I'm sure you've been in uncomfortable shoes before...don't do this to them, regardless of the height issue (which I honestly don't think is an issue). I feel like any time a shoe issue comes up on here I preach, but I really do feel that strongly about it.....I just don't think it's right to tell other people what they should put on their feet when they're the ones standing in them.

And ditto what Denise said about hair.

Re: BP Hair and Shoe Selection? Is is up to the bride? -POLL

Just some old married lady advice ...

If you let them wear their hair how they feel most beautiful, and wear shoes that they are most comfortable in, they will be more likely to smile for your expensive wedding pictures

(not saying they won't smile otherwise, but everyone has a different aire to them when they feel the most comfortable with how they look)

Re: BP Hair and Shoe Selection? Is is up to the bride? -POLL

I want all of the girls to wear their hair the same-- but they're involved with the decision so that they're all confortable with it.

Same happened with my BM dresses-- I knew that I wanted a certain color scheme and it was a two peice dress that had a bunch of different cuts and neck lines. THey all tried them all on and decided on the one that they thought looked the best on everyone. It wasnt my favorite of all of them, but I still loved it and I know that they'll feel good in it! Now we're doing the same with the hair-- they're all growing it out so that they have hair to work with- they're so cute!! Just love muy girls!

SO- do I like the "the same look" yes! Will I force anyone to do it? No! I'm open to other ideas and we'll figure it out!

Re: BP Hair and Shoe Selection? Is is up to the bride? -POLL

i am letting all my girls wear their hair and shoes however or whatever they want my only thing was that i want everyone to have their makeup professionally done, some of my maids dont wear alot of makeup and i want enough on them to show up in pictures

Re: BP Hair and Shoe Selection? Is is up to the bride? -POLL

I want alll of my girls to be in the same color shoes... i dont really care about style or heel size.


As for hair i asked that girls not do all up hair... just personal preference.. but they can if they want

Re: BP Hair and Shoe Selection? Is is up to the bride? -POLL

I'm only telling my girls that I would like them to have silver shoes, and that I want their hair done in some way. They can do whatever they want from there!

Re: BP Hair and Shoe Selection? Is is up to the bride? -POLL

well my girls are wearing all the same dress
they can wear there hair anyway they want and for shoes same color but they can have any style they want

BP Hair and Shoe Selection? Is is up to the bride? -POLL

As a bride I totally see where you (and others) are coming from, but I can also see from a bridesmaid's point of view. I would say that giving some guidelines might be an idea but forcing them probably isn't the best idea. I know you will stand out regardless of what your girls look like...you are the
Bride!

I have told my girls they can do whatever they want as far as hair and makeup. I haven't really decided on shoes. I would like them to be the same or at least similar since they are wearing tea length gowns but I'm not sure yet.

Re: BP Hair and Shoe Selection? Is is up to the bride? -POLL

I think it's OK to give the BMs some guidelines about their appearance, so long as they're reasonable. I think you also have to take into context how much you've asked of them throughout the planning process. If a bride asks the BMs to go on every dress shopping trip, compile the invitations, and box all the favors, she should cut them some slack on their appearance.

I didn't ask the BMs to do much at all, but I still wanted to be flexible with them. I chose the BM shoes--kitten heels. The dresses were tea length and feet were visible, but if they had been floor length I wouldn't have cared. For hair, I told the BMs that they could do what they wanted, but to run it by me; I didn't anticipate objecting to their ideas and didn't.