Bridal Shower - Help

I love my mom, MOH and FMIL but I have major control issues. The idea of not planning my bridal shower is the scariest thing to me right now.

is it weird to have a bride plan her shower?

i said i would plan everything for them and they can fill in the day and time so it could still be a surprise. is that weird?

i dont want them to think i dont trust them, but at the same time - i have a vision of what i'd like the day to be.


while im on the subject: i'd like to have a cozy party but 2 things are definite must haves - (1) i want the decor to be brown and pink and (2) i'd like all the guests to submit a personal recipe so i can build a cookbook of favorites.

anyone have ideas or examples of either?
TIA

Re: Bridal Shower - Help

You can definitely plan your bridal shower!!! I'm also a control freak. I let her pick the venue, but I'm planning the entire thing. I already have my invitations and my favors, and didn't even allow my mom to pay for them b/c I knew I wanted something over the top. The only thing she has to do is arrange the food and seating there.

Re: Bridal Shower - Help

I see more and more brides planning their own showers these days..it's really up to you.

I personally do not want anything to do with it. We were talking about it on here last night actually...I gave her the addresses and registry stuff and that's it...my hands are washed and I do not want another detail....I want to be surprised..or as surprised as I could be lol

Re: Bridal Shower - Help

I planned practically my entire shower. I hate surprises and am a control freak. I wanted an elegant tea party - I picked the place, the date, the time, the favors - everything (all with my mom). My BP did a few small surprises. The way I see it is that you KNOW you are having a shower, so how is that a surprise party?! I say do what you want and who cares what other people think. And this way, you show up to the party how you want to look, and not in jeans or sweats with no makeup on. Good luck!

Re: Bridal Shower - Help

normally i do like to pick out every detail myself. At first i felt the same way about the shower and how can i let someone else pick out every little thing and no i want to do it. BUT then i also realized that since i have been a control freak, i do all the wedding things myself and i dont go to my mom to ask her, i tell her things after usually. I felt bad because she once said about others she knows and how the moms are so involved, and it broke my heart. So i am staying out of this, the thing was that i really want it to be a surprise too and kinda hard if i am planning it. My mom and MOH are both doing my shower, and when i really thought about it i realized that i can trust both with the decisions. Both of them are not traditional at all, so i know they'd do things a bit differently and i am happy with that. So once they started planning it, i stayed out of it, and now i am so glad. Its so great to sit back and relax with the shower and not add more "to do" things on my list.

When you are at your shower, what will be most important to you are the people that are there for you, and spending time with you. You would have an amazing time regardless of what the table decor looks like, regardless of the favors given out and so on. Maybe there would be things i wouldn't have picked but only bc i would've had other things in mind but doesn't mean i won't love it. I trust both of them completely and ever since i decided to let go of my control, i am so carefree about this and know they'll do an amazing job.

Message edited 1/5/2008 11:51:25 AM.

Re: Bridal Shower - Help

thanks ladies.

my mom is down from binghamton to look for dresses with me this weekend so we were talking and she seemed torn about the whole thing. she seemed like she understood and agreed with me planning everything but at the same time she appeared to be a little cheated out of doing it.

the problem is she is 3 hours away and the party would be in brooklyn. so right from the start she cant do all that she wants to b/c of distance.

and while i adore FMIL, she's not my mom and i dont want her doing everything either.

my MOH is the best and will do anything i suggest, but she said, that she has no idea where to start, etc.