Head Table Drama (long sorry)

Hi ladies,
I am coming to everyone here because I know I will find the best advice. I just found out yesterday that my FH's mother is not sitting at the head table. The people sitting at the head table are going to be his grandmother and the grandmothers friends from work. I was very taken back by this and said you have to sit there with immediate family. She said it wont work with the seating arrangements she will sit somewhere else in the room. Now I have never heard of this and I am actually very upset by this. I explained this to my FH and he said it didnt bother him. You know men. But it bothers me. Now what I have told him was since his head table is not an actual head table I am going to tell my hall that the groom does not have a head table just to have all numbers on his side and for him to now explain this to his Mom. What do you think I should do and do you think what I said was fine. Thank you everyone for listening.

Message edited 7/10/2002 4:01:21 PM.

Re: Head Table Drama (long sorry)

That is ridiculous! How can his mom put her co-workers that neither of you probably know well at the head table?! I'm sure there is a way to arrange the seating to have family at the head table. What you said is fine if his mom won't change the seating. I would've said the same thing. Good luck!

Re: Head Table Drama (long sorry)

Do you have to have a head table? You could always just sit the bridal party at one table and the families separate. And then maybe they can set a small table for you and your FH . This would allow everyone to sit with their dates or significant other.

Re: Head Table Drama (long sorry)

I thought this was crazy too and I wasnt sure if I was taking it too far but I am thinking to myself it's not called a head table for nothing. I am really pissed about this.

Re: Head Table Drama (long sorry)

we didn't have head tables differentiated in any way (except location). We named all our tables and the immediate families sat in the front of the room next to us (1 table for each family). Other tables were there as well.

Whats the layout of your room - do you have to have two designated "head" tables? What would you call them?

Re: Head Table Drama (long sorry)

Deanna,

Not to sound like a !@#$% but Grandma's friends DO NOT belong at the head table, you can put them at a table near it. Why is your FMIL being stubborn

Re: Head Table Drama (long sorry)

You are the one that puts your seating chart together how will she change her seat once you have done it and assigned everyone a seat I am confused. I think she is just being very difficult. I have never seen a mother or any parent for that matter not wanting to be proud at their table.

We are not doing a head table we are doing a table for my FI and myself and 2 main tables for family. Then everyone sits everywhere else.

WHy worry yourself if this is not going to work out, maybe you should just squash the HT idea and do a dais just for you and your FI.

Good luck and happy planning

Re: Head Table Drama (long sorry)

Thank you so much for everyone helping me. I just dont get it. The way the room is set up is you have the dais for us, two bridal party tables on each side of us and then the rest of the tables in front of us but there is two head tables at the front. I am wondering if I should just say something to his Mom in a very nice way. I know it doesnt bother my FH but it means something to me that he is represented by his mother and grandmother together not the grandmothers coworkers. My wedding is in a few weeks and I dont need this aggravation.

Re: Head Table Drama (long sorry)

MichelleW that was very funny

Re: Head Table Drama (long sorry)

Your hall can have the table set in that fashion but you do not have to use them for those purposes, remember its your day and you should have it just the way you want it. Those tables are not a permanent fixture, they can be moved or used for the 2 parents table etc.

Your day is a day before mine How cool is that. Let's try to keep stress free together You are going to have a beautiful wedding.

Happy planning

Re: Head Table Drama (long sorry)

I would move the table with the co-workers to a different part of the room. Normally the head table is supposed to be next to the bride and groom, since the co-workers are not family I would not call it the head table and I would move it so other family can sit closer.

Re: Head Table Drama (long sorry)

Shamma - How is all the planning going? I am almost finished. In 10 days I drop off all the favors, table cards, matches and of course the rest of the money to my hall. Where are you getting married? I am so excited and and at the same time nervous to face everyone. I hope my wedding nightmares dont come true Good luck with your planning and we defintely need to be stress free for the next few weeks.

Re: Head Table Drama (long sorry)

I agree...do your own seating chart...

I don't have a head table of any sort....both sets of parents are sitting with their siblings, my sister is sitting with our close cousins and our friends are sitting with friends...BM and GM will be dispersed all over the place...

grandma can sit with her work friends, but not in the front...or you can sit her with the child she gave birth to...