I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! - long

im in tears right now , FH mom is craZy, i tell u crazy, a week ago i had posted up something about her being twisted...and now i just cant take it anymore

I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING

ill update when i stop crying .... sorry, ill write the rest out in a lil bit


UPDATE

Ah… here it goes

All throughout college [undergrad] I had my own apartment, now that im in grad school… I moved back in with my parents to save money and plus my house is kinda big so im just in one corner of the house, don’t get disturbed etc. which is nice.. cuz I adore my parents and I missed spending quality time with them. I have 2 younger brother and 1 younger sister.

My FH lil bro is 14 and and so is my brother- they are/used be BEST FRIENDS. That’s how we kinda met. Anyways my mom is out of the country for 2 weeks, and therefore I assumed all the responsibilities at home, I cook clean, laundry etc… which im not used too lol cuz my mom used to do all that basically.

FH mom knows I guess Im studying for final exams [the semesters about to end] so she offers to send food over, and I told her no its okay I know ur busy too and I don’t want it to be hectic for you thanks..she insists, so I say okay thank u a lot! She said she will come over at 5 pm and I told her no problem , I MAY NOT be home, because I have to run a few errands and get some groceries done. Shes says okay itll be just a few minutes, but if ur not home ill drop it off w/ ur brothers….

Anyways I waited till 5:30 she didn’t come, so I left to go to do my stuff, and she comes over and brings lets call him {brian} … her 14 year old son, who is a rude, bratty, rebel, bad in school, gets in to fights, etc etc…. she drops off the food and my brothers say thank you…and than they ASSUME since my dads at work and my moms not in the country that shes gona leave…but she comes inside and stays in my house on a weekday when the kids have school and HW and stuff to do …she stays over for 1hr 45 minz and asks my brother oh can u please help brian? I don’t know what to do with him, his behavior keeps getting worse and worse? And brian starts yelling back, and in a nut shell they get in to a HUGE FIGHT in my living room for about a good hour, just screaming and cursing back and forth…and meanwhile my 7 year old sister is at home, listening to this and she gets worried n freaked out so she goes to her room and closes the door.

It gets better…my brother is 16 years old he has a licence but clearly my parents do not want him to drive alone… so FMIL and her son are fighting like cats n dogs, and when shes about to leave, shes like go away brian don’t come in my car I don’t wana take you with me, and she asks my brother Steven to DROP HIM OFF INSTEAD….she knows my brothers have to take care of my sister…and she knows hes 16years old and my mom would not want him to take the car out at night… she doesn’t care…she didn’t “feel like taking him” with her, so she just shoves the responsibility on my family I guess.

And last week, on a Wednesday night [school night] she calls my house 12:30AM everyons sleeping mind you…and shes like Brian just broke the shower door. Can I drop him at your house , hes very angry he needs to calm down, maybe u can talk to him? [says this to my brothers] my brother is like umm im SLEEPING, everyone else is sleeping, cant u drop him off tohis cousins house??? And my brother steven is like, “besides my mom is not here, and my dad will leave for work, itll get hectic”

FMIL hears this and gets infuriated and says omg ive never asked you for anything, but just this one time, I wanted him to stay at ur house, u disappointed me”


HELLO!!! My moms not around, my brothers are 16 and 14 and sister is 7, theyre supposed to TAKE CARE OF YOUR WILD SON??? In the MIDDLE of the night??

And what favor is she asking of a freaking 16 year old….

And than she goes to my brother…tell your sister NOT to tell Adam [my FH] …duhh cuz if FH found out she was doing this and disturbing us, he would be infuriated….


I don’t know she does the most disrespectful, inconsiderate things, and mind you they come from a very well educated, rich family… I think shes just crazy.!! How can u fight like an animal in someones house when theyre parents are not home, she made a spectacle of herself infront of my brothers and sister.

Im so pissed off, I went out for like an hour, and she started a huge fight in my living room cursing back and forth, and she even yelled at my brothers… argh … and they think shes crazy…


I TOLD FH – and he goes, well…. Its not that big of a deal calm down, she was probably frustrated…

Well I don’t give a CRAP, u don’t act like that in my house….


Besides that…she called me up today and told me for an hour about how she went to the mall and bought all these pretty dresses for my niece and went shopping for her daughter {FSIL} who I do like very much, but meanwhile she hasn’t done a single thing in regards to the wedding… she hasn’t done her end…


SORRY im so frustrated…theres so much MORE she does i dont know if i can deal with this lady for the rest of my life... some ppl tell me to be careful because you marry in to the family...
but i want it to be just me and FH ...

Message edited 12/8/2006 12:08:10 AM.

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! -

i'm soo sorry!! heres some

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! -

I am so sorry that you are upset. Please take a break & sleep on it.. you will feel better in the morning. here are some hugs

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! -

You can't let her craziness ruin what you and your FH have! You are marrying him, not his family!

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! -

don't call off your future due to your inlaws. I agree you are marrying your fi not his parents.
Let us know if we can help!

our fmil started a fight tonight so i know how you feel at times.

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! -

Just remember.... in the end it's only you two.

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! -

yea thats what i always tell myself.....

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! -

when theres things like a wedding people are just bound to fight and argue because people have different opinions. What matters most is you and FH and what YOU want thats it. Cheer up and dont let her get to you... it just so not worth it!

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! -

I am so sorry that you're going through this. I know how hard it can be when you're dealing with difficult in-laws, but hang in there...the life you are making is primarily just the two of you. As long as your FH is on your side, you can get through anything.

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! -

Relax hunny. Don't cry! I would never let those future in laws get to me that much! Its not worth it! You are marrying your FI, not his parents! Trust me, I had a huge blow out with my Future In laws right before the wedding, they really pissed me off, as they do on occasions, and I would have never called off the wedding. Their not worth it. And Im sure your future in-laws arent worth it either!

My suggestion to you is to talk to your FI, and tell him how you feel , how you think his mother is crazy (without really saying shes crazy, you dont want to offen your FI either, [mothers and sons are very close] and explain to him the situatioms!

please try and calm down! its not worth it! Keep us posted, you have all us LIW girls upset and worried!

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! -

im so sorry your going through this....u should let her know what she is doing that is upsetting you

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! -

aww, don't let her get to you....remember the reason you are doing this in the first place.

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! -

Please do not call off the wedding. I understand what you are going through because I am going through the same thing. I felt the same way today. My FH and I made up after an arguement due to FMIL but I need to deal with the IL's. I feel like it's not my wedding but theirs. My mom is really helping me out. Telling me that you need to bite your tounge even if they are being disrespectful. Hang in there, that is what I am trying to do.

dancer

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! -

Hang in there.

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! -

yea my mom tells me just to swallow and bite my tongue..!!! not to let it get to me, my mom is like my best friend...thank god... i haver her, we get along really well and i wanted to have that kinda realtionship with FMIL but she is soo ******* shady and weird...i cant stand her

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! -

thanks everybody

Message edited 12/7/2006 11:35:20 PM.

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! -

hes a mommas boy....

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! - long

Let it blow over, sleep on it!! In the meantime, here are some hugs!!!!!!!!!

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! - long

Oh my! dont you just love inlaws!!!!!!! Hang in there. I honestly dont know what to say because I couldnt imagine being in your situation just remember you love your FH! and he loves you back! Sorry! My prayers are with you!

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! - long

Im sorry that you have to deal with this. I think your FH needs to understand that maybe she was frustrated but it was a lack of respect on her part...not yours or your families responsibility to take care of her children.

Dont call off the wedding just b/c of this, you are marrying FH and I have heard "you are marrying the family" too it not worth losing what you and FH have. Just steer clear

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! - long

What a wacko! I would sit down with your FH and talk long and hard about his mother-than I would sit down with him and his mother and address these issues-she has to realize that this is an inappropriate way to act as an adult.

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! - long

thanks ... feeling a bit better...

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! - long

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! - long

Dont call off your wedding. You have to tell her something and her SON something so they can know u have bounderies that you want to be respected. Sometimes ppl take things so far because noone says anything. And you are marrying into the family and sometimes you have to deal with their BS and family issues but you have to demand your RESPECT. Fighting in your house is STRAIGHT disrespectful. I am southern raised that is the ultimate disrespect! NOONE should EVER do that! EVER... they should keep that crap over at their house.

And to call someones house at 12:30am OHH HELL NO!! That is a total no no. If her son is out of control guess what that is NOT your problem, your brothers problem...but HER problem. And u really reallly reallly need to let her know that. You do not have to be disrespectful but be very stern in what u say and feel. Because if you dont it's gonna get worse.

Dont cry just think and express yourself to the best of your ability!

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! - long

I'm sorry you're going through this. I think I need to offer a slight reality check: I'm not saying you should call off the wedding, but you and FH need to deal with this NOW.

While you're not marrying your FILs, they WILL be a huge part of your life in all likelihood. It sounds like FH has no interest in setting boundaries with his mother or in understanding that what she is doing is wrong.

So, no, don't call off the wedding... but get FH to see your side of this soon. You don't want it to continue to be an issue your entire life.

Sorry to sound harsh... but it appears that this happens a lot - and your FH either defends her or does nothing. You and FH need to have a long talk. You can't have his mother disrespecting you and your family like that. This isn't something that will magically go away once you are married, so the time to start dealing with it is now.