little sister

ok i need all of your advice and support.....my little sister who is 16 and in my BP is a miserable girl......she sat at my epart yesterday with a puss on the whole time.....telling everyone how she hates everyone there....etc ....etc.....FH's lil sisters who are in her age bracket were like what the hell is wrong with this girl....lol.....theyve met b4 as well .......anyway my question or problem is this i know once she is old enough to realize that she missed out on the most imp time of her big sisters life she is gonna regret being so bad about things....i just dont know how to handle the situation.....

Re: little sister

sorry to hear this. If it makes you feel any better my only sister refused to be in my wedding. The worst part is she is 26 and has no reasoning.

Sometimes they don't get it and right now she probably is jealous because you are getting a lot of attention - it will pass but maybe not right away.

here's a for ya

Re: little sister

Yup all I can say is jealousy.... i feel that from my sis as well.

Re: little sister

well my 20 yr old sister who is my MOH has been nothing but amazing........i just dont understand...

Re: little sister

well, i think for starters you are handling it the right way with your state of mind. meaning, you are not thinking how could she do this to me? she is this, she is that! you are thinking that she is just acting immature and that she will one day realize that she should have realized the more important part of it (not making fun of people but more just enjoying these special times for you because this is a great time in your life). so amen for that because some people would just get angry, which you do have a right to be, but i don't think that's going to help in stopping her behavior.

i would talk to her the way you are talking to us and explain that it hurts you and that you think she will one day, when she is older, look back on this and regret it. just try and convey your feelings because they are so valid. try to make her understand that it is hard being young but people really look up to someone who acts mature and who is happy all the time over someone who always has something negative to say. and try to make her see that with each negative comment or face without a smile on she is taking away how happy you would be if she was acting the right way.

if this does not work i suggest going to mommy!! LOL sounds so opposite of what i just wrote but if she is just going to completely disregard your feelings i would try and talk to your mom on keeping an eye on her. i know if it were me, my mom would kill me if i acted up so maybe that is a good plan B but i think plan A will hit home with her, it's good to go for the heart strings and to try and put her in your shoes, once she sees that i think you will notice a big difference in her!!

GOOD LUCK, HTH!!!!!!

Re: little sister

I think she is going through a phase in life, like a lotta teens do. IM sure she doesnt mean anything by it, I would try talking to her and just let her know how it makes you feel. also maybe see if anythings bugging her at school?

Re: little sister

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Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

well, i think for starters you are handling it the right way with your state of mind. meaning, you are not thinking how could she do this to me? she is this, she is that! you are thinking that she is just acting immature and that she will one day realize that she should have realized the more important part of it (not making fun of people but more just enjoying these special times for you because this is a great time in your life). so amen for that because some people would just get angry, which you do have a right to be, but i don't think that's going to help in stopping her behavior.

i would talk to her the way you are talking to us and explain that it hurts you and that you think she will one day, when she is older, look back on this and regret it. just try and convey your feelings because they are so valid. try to make her understand that it is hard being young but people really look up to someone who acts mature and who is happy all the time over someone who always has something negative to say. and try to make her see that with each negative comment or face without a smile on she is taking away how happy you would be if she was acting the right way.

if this does not work i suggest going to mommy!! LOL sounds so opposite of what i just wrote but if she is just going to completely disregard your feelings i would try and talk to your mom on keeping an eye on her. i know if it were me, my mom would kill me if i acted up so maybe that is a good plan B but i think plan A will hit home with her, it's good to go for the heart strings and to try and put her in your shoes, once she sees that i think you will notice a big difference in her!!

GOOD LUCK, HTH!!!!!!

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Re: little sister

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Posted by espresso

I think she is going through a phase in life, like a lotta teens do. IM sure she doesnt mean anything by it, I would try talking to her and just let her know how it makes you feel. also maybe see if anythings bugging her at school?

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Re: little sister

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Posted by bride2b24

well my 20 yr old sister who is my MOH has been nothing but amazing........i just dont understand...

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Re: little sister

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Posted by bride2b24

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Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

well, i think for starters you are handling it the right way with your state of mind. meaning, you are not thinking how could she do this to me? she is this, she is that! you are thinking that she is just acting immature and that she will one day realize that she should have realized the more important part of it (not making fun of people but more just enjoying these special times for you because this is a great time in your life). so amen for that because some people would just get angry, which you do have a right to be, but i don't think that's going to help in stopping her behavior.

i would talk to her the way you are talking to us and explain that it hurts you and that you think she will one day, when she is older, look back on this and regret it. just try and convey your feelings because they are so valid. try to make her understand that it is hard being young but people really look up to someone who acts mature and who is happy all the time over someone who always has something negative to say. and try to make her see that with each negative comment or face without a smile on she is taking away how happy you would be if she was acting the right way.

if this does not work i suggest going to mommy!! LOL sounds so opposite of what i just wrote but if she is just going to completely disregard your feelings i would try and talk to your mom on keeping an eye on her. i know if it were me, my mom would kill me if i acted up so maybe that is a good plan B but i think plan A will hit home with her, it's good to go for the heart strings and to try and put her in your shoes, once she sees that i think you will notice a big difference in her!!

GOOD LUCK, HTH!!!!!!

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its hard....i. did call her today and kinda hit her on the defensive note.....but shes just at that age where she is obsessed with her friends and like hung up on me...eew...lol....well see

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Re: little sister

Its def. a hard situation. Maybe you could ask her what she was upset about the other day at your party. Sounds like she's unhappy about having to participate in some things. 16 yr. olds are constantly fighting for their independence. Maybe you could give her a job (and some control over her part of the wedding) , like helping you pick out the BM dresses, or bok's? Maybe your other sis could talk to her too.

Good Luck!

Re: little sister

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Posted by kaybeeber

Its def. a hard situation. Maybe you could ask her what she was upset about the other day at your party. Sounds like she's unhappy about having to participate in some things. 16 yr. olds are constantly fighting for their independence. Maybe you could give her a job (and some control over her part of the wedding) , like helping you pick out the BM dresses, or bok's? Maybe your other sis could talk to her too.

Good Luck!

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Re: little sister

its probably because there is such an age difference that she just doesnt understand what is going on in your life. is she maybe jealous? or is she like that all the time?

Re: little sister

aw Jackie, thats tough cause its not only your BM but your sis. Add it is a difficult situation cause 16 yr. olds are very hard to please. I mean and with all the other stuff that is going on in her life, she might just not be in a celebrating mood. You should talk to her, let her know how you understand she might not be having a great life (cause at 16 everything bad = a horrible life), but that shes is your sister, and that you guys are suppposed to stick with each other through everything. You can tell her that is why it means so much to you that she is in your wedding, and you can ask her if there is anything you can do for her. If that doesn't work or of talking to her at all doesn't work, ask her if shes ok with being in the BP, cause she might really hate the idea of being a BM and if thats the case ask her if there is anything she would like to do the day of the wedding ( a reading or something). She might just want to be a guest you never know. I hope this help, I don't have any sisters so I don't know if I'm much help.

Re: little sister

Ok.. I think you really just need to maybe take her to lunch and sit down with her alone and have a heart to heart! At that age, really all they care about is their friends and "hanging out."
Not to mention every little thing in their life is really a big thing! I read that her dad had a baby.. well that's probably hitting her hard and making her feel a lot of jealousy not to mention you getting married is putting a lot of attention on you as well. She is feeling really left out I'm sure. I think maybe you should try to make her feel really important at this moment. It sounds like maybe she is looking for the attention and obviously you can see it.. so she is letting people know it. I feel so bad for girls at that age! I went through A LOT at that age, and if I didn't have certain people in my life today that weren't there for me, I wouldn't be who I am today. Maybe she just needs a role model and you may be the one who can help.
This can be a rewarding time in your life too!!!

Re: little sister

When one of my sister's got married I was 18 and the only "bad" feelings I had was that she was leaving home and me. Maybe she feels sad about those type of things, but is expressing those emotions in the way she did at the party?? I dunno, just a thought. In any case, I'm sure she is so happy for you.

Re: little sister

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Posted by chrissyandvin

Ok.. I think you really just need to maybe take her to lunch and sit down with her alone and have a heart to heart! At that age, really all they care about is their friends and "hanging out."
Not to mention every little thing in their life is really a big thing! I read that her dad had a baby.. well that's probably hitting her hard and making her feel a lot of jealousy not to mention you getting married is putting a lot of attention on you as well. She is feeling really left out I'm sure. I think maybe you should try to make her feel really important at this moment. It sounds like maybe she is looking for the attention and obviously you can see it.. so she is letting people know it. I feel so bad for girls at that age! I went through A LOT at that age, and if I didn't have certain people in my life today that weren't there for me, I wouldn't be who I am today. Maybe she just needs a role model and you may be the one who can help.
This can be a rewarding time in your life too!!!

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Re: little sister

I hate to use this as an excuse but she is a TEENAGER we all know how they can be

Re: little sister

Thanks alot girls.....honestly you couldnt pay me to be sixteen again

Re: little sister

I think its her age...at 16 some of us only wan tto hang out with our friends not really into dressses she will be fine just ignore her.

Re: little sister

I think your sister is reacting to the changes going on around her. She's no longer the baby b/c your dad now has an infant to occupy his time. Plus, everyone is focusing on you b/c you're getting married. Your sister either wants attention or doesn't know how to handle these changes. I think you should sit her down and try to talk to her. Hopefully she will open up.

Re: little sister

It's tough bc she's 16.. at 16 I know I didn't care about anything but boys parties and my life.. I would say she is being immature.. she's not in that stage of her life to grasp the importance that this is to you and how excited she should be.. She's probably pissed off that she could be going out on your wedding night instead of being stuck at the RH all night!!! Try to be as understanding as possible.. I am not at all condoning her actions but she is only a teenager..

Re: little sister

Teenagers are moody, I don't think I've ever met one who wasn't FH's lil sister hasn't been the nicest about the wedding even threatening not to come and things like this hurt, Just talk to her tell her how much she means to you and how happy you are that she is in your wedding. Explain to her how you feel, sometimes things work itself out!
Good luck!
XOXOXO
Kitty

Re: little sister

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Posted by chrissyandvin

Ok.. I think you really just need to maybe take her to lunch and sit down with her alone and have a heart to heart! At that age, really all they care about is their friends and "hanging out."
Not to mention every little thing in their life is really a big thing! I read that her dad had a baby.. well that's probably hitting her hard and making her feel a lot of jealousy not to mention you getting married is putting a lot of attention on you as well. She is feeling really left out I'm sure. I think maybe you should try to make her feel really important at this moment. It sounds like maybe she is looking for the attention and obviously you can see it.. so she is letting people know it. I feel so bad for girls at that age! I went through A LOT at that age, and if I didn't have certain people in my life today that weren't there for me, I wouldn't be who I am today. Maybe she just needs a role model and you may be the one who can help.
This can be a rewarding time in your life too!!!

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Re: little sister

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Posted by sugarkube4

It's tough bc she's 16.. at 16 I know I didn't care about anything but boys parties and my life.. I would say she is being immature.. she's not in that stage of her life to grasp the importance that this is to you and how excited she should be.. She's probably pissed off that she could be going out on your wedding night instead of being stuck at the RH all night!!! Try to be as understanding as possible.. I am not at all condoning her actions but she is only a teenager.. [/QUOTE


seriously i agree 100%]