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kittythestray
I married my love!!
Member since 1/06 4789 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/1/2006 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
Tall Grass - A+
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Re: Weddings not happeniing? :( Need 2 vent...so sad...so confused
Posted by Sunrise813
true love should never be this hard.
This is what I say to every one of my friends. Yes, relationships are work, but when your BOTH giving equally it's easy work... when one of you is giving 90%, you feel tired and like it's always a struggle and you start to resent the person only giving 10% because they have it so easy.
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Posted 3/21/06 6:47 PM 
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edsprincess
Christmas is around the corner
Member since 1/05 2141 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/2/2005 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
watermillA++
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Re: Weddings not happeniing? :( Need 2 vent...so sad...so confused
 I can kinda relate. My husband thinks he's always right and he has a temper. He throws things constantly and hits the doors. Its been hard lately. I always think is this going to get better then it does then he throws his tantrums again over stupid stuff. And I love him. Its like your stuck between a rock and a hard spot. I love him but I can't go through his tantrums emotionally. Its very hard. If you feel its right you did the right thing. A marraige is 2 people putting into it not one.
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Posted 3/21/06 6:49 PM
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johnsae
MARRIED!!!!
Member since 3/05 6258 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/6/2006 5:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Capitale
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Re: Weddings not happeniing? :( Need 2 vent...so sad...so confused
I hope things work out for the better.
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Posted 3/21/06 7:20 PM
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DAVALJO2
Married life is Fabulous!!!!
Member since 10/04 1296 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/21/2005 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Huntington Town House MY WORST CHOICE EVER!!!
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Re: Weddings not happeniing? :( Need 2 vent...so sad...so confused
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Posted 3/21/06 7:29 PM
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Kellysgirl
Board Enthusiast
Member since 3/06 188 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/14/2007 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Weddings not happeniing? :( Need 2 vent...so sad...so confused
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Posted 3/21/06 7:31 PM
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CC59
Old Married Lady
Member since 10/04 2530 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/7/2006 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Fox Hollow! BEAUTIFUL!
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Re: Weddings not happeniing? :( Need 2 vent...so sad...so confused
Maybe he needs some time to himself? Guys are weird. Something might be bothering him or maybbe he is just plain old stressed out.
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Posted 3/21/06 7:46 PM
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luvmyhuny
Board Enthusiast
Member since 10/05 238 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/19/2007 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor
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Re: Weddings not happeniing? :( Need 2 vent...so sad...so confused
I am so sorry that you guys are going thru all of this. Yes it is a stressfull time but you guys really need to sit down and talk.
My FH is always working too I get mad but I have to understand when we get married it will be like this. And I had to make a decision if I could not live with all the working I would not even accept the  . Its so hard but you have to TALK!!
If you can't talk NOW you don't want to be divorced on top of spending like 50 K on the wedding.
Keep me posted..
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Posted 3/21/06 8:40 PM
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nickipa
awhh...henry
Member since 5/05 2364 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/4/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
FH
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Re: Weddings not happeniing? :( Need 2 vent...so sad...so confused
I just wanted to say goodluck, I think its really great you guys talked and are going to meet with someone, I think that will be great for your communications with eachother
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Posted 3/21/06 8:47 PM
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jnrrb
1 1/2 months to go :-)
Member since 1/06 1054 total posts
Wedding Date:
3/18/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked
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Re: Weddings not happeniing? :( Need 2 vent...so sad...so confused
I am sorry you are going through this. I really hope the two of you can work it out when you guys sit down and talk about everything. But make sure you do talk about EVERY THING before the two of you jump into something the two of might regret. Lay it all out on the table and see where you both have to make changes to make it right.
I really hope it works out for you,
Best wishes.
Sorry I didn't see your last post,
happy to hear of the out come.
Again best wishes
Message edited 3/21/2006 9:12:28 PM.
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Posted 3/21/06 9:09 PM
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ewickens
We have a PUPPY!!!
Member since 1/05 13581 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/16/2006 10:30 AM
Wed. Location:
Brentwood Country Club A++
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Re: Weddings not happeniing? :( Need 2 vent...so sad...so confused
Posted by confused06
You girls are the best. You were there for me when i really needed to talk/vent. I have to say things have gotten alot better.
since my last post my fi and i did a lot of talking. we admitted both of us cant be childish and break things or hide things and he said my accusations of saying he was cheating set him off--in any respect we agree that cannot continue for future on either of our parts.
i truly appecaite the advice to be direct + not have him read my signals. He is not very intuitive and the direct approach would be best (thanks for this ).
we also agreed going to speak to someone would be a great idea and really help us out. he was open to this and we made an appointment for next monday.
as of now the wedding IS still on but we both agreed we have to learn how to communicate better and can't threaten each other.
i just want to say you girls are the best and i appreciate all the advice, hugs and fms you have sent me.
So happy that you guys are working things out and talking with someone about what is really happening! I wish you the best of luck!!!
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Posted 3/21/06 10:07 PM
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jenntony
Board Fanatic
Member since 11/05 820 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/24/2006 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Weddings not happeniing? :( Need 2 vent...so sad...so confused
so sorry about everything, i hope that everything works out for you guys!!!! 
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Posted 3/21/06 10:29 PM
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ssdbk
Kerie
Member since 1/05 3960 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/12/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Temple Chaverim
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Re: Weddings not happeniing? :( Need 2 vent...so sad...so confused
Sounds like he had his decision made before the weekend. If you feel that you need to hide the guy's glasses, do you really love him? I just can't see doing that to my husband.
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Posted 3/22/06 1:25 AM
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chloeme2
So close, where's the Ativan?!
Member since 8/05 1069 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/11/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Crest Hollow
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Re: Weddings not happeniing? :( Need 2 vent...so sad...so confused
Posted by jada2destiny
I am so sorry that you have to deal with this maybe you guys SHOULD hold off on the wedding plans for a while A moment of embarrassment is way better then a lifetime of regret and pain. I understand that you really love this guy and I'm sure that he loves you the same (in his own way), but his temper is out of control and next time it may not be a cake topper that is his target. Some guys just aren't affectionate and as the saying goes, "you can't teach an old dog new tricks".
Keep us posted and good luck i will keep you in my prayers
JMHO: Maybe you guys should seperate for a while to figure out what the two of you want as individuals and seek counceling seperately and as a couple as some of the other girls have suggested
I agree w/ a lot of what Jada2destiny posted. Sometimes people need space so that they can see the forest through the trees. Too many people that I know are ending marriages after 2 yrs or less. It's really imperative that 2 pple go into marriage feeling confident that they are committing to a healthy relationship. As difficult as it may be, I think that it's time to soul search so that both of you can make a solid, rational decision. I am so sorry for your pain
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Posted 3/22/06 1:58 AM
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cherryj24
Baby H coming in September!
Member since 12/05 1145 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/10/2006 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Old Field Club
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Re: Weddings not happeniing? UPDATE NEAR BOTTOM
YAY! Good luck!
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Posted 3/22/06 8:04 AM
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MrsMagoo
Time is flying....
Member since 1/06 2548 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/1/2007 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Warm Weather, Sandy Beaches...
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Re: Weddings not happeniing? UPDATE NEAR BOTTOM
I hope everything works out for you! We are all thinking about you!!!
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Posted 3/22/06 8:24 AM
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smara
Member since 12/05 3169 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/26/2006 1:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Weddings not happeniing? UPDATE NEAR BOTTOM
Good Luck - I am glad you guys are starting to communicate.
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Posted 3/22/06 9:49 AM
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bacibaci
Board Enthusiast
Member since 4/04 200 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/1/2006 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
EL CARIBE
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Re: Weddings not happeniing? UPDATE NEAR BOTTOM
Edited for wrong quote
Message edited 3/23/2006 1:29:11 AM.
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Posted 3/23/06 1:21 AM
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bacibaci
Board Enthusiast
Member since 4/04 200 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/1/2006 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
EL CARIBE
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Re: Weddings not happeniing? UPDATE NEAR BOTTOM
Posted by sarahradio5
Posted by MysteryGroom
This sounds like another faker!!!!
I don't think so. I think maybe she signed on under another name so she can anonymously state her true feelings and situation.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have to say... I don't think he's ready at this point for marriage. He seems very immature when it comes to relationships. You're trying more than he is. You're both getting to the point where you do immature things out of frustration.. you hiding his glasses. Him breaking the monogrammed cake topper. Those things don't help ANYTHING. I think postponing the wedding, as HARD as that is, is the best thing. In fact, I think you guys may need a break from each other. When my FH and I went through bad times, we "broke up". I was still there for him during that time when he got in an accident and was out of work for 3 months, but we weren't 'together, together". All of a sudden, a light bulb went off in his head, and he realized what he had in me. He called me one day and said he wanted to meet and told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and apologized for everything. (that still wasn't the official proposal... the ring came 5months later after I saw how he re-committed himself to me and enjoyed our relationship). It has been AMAZING. He's not an overly emotional or romantic guy on a daily basis, but he definitely has his moments! The reason I'm saying this is because I learned you can't force a guy into being committed to a relationship. The bad times with us were filled with my trying to do that. That just made it worse. Give him space... let him see what he has in you. Try to be the bigger person here. Don't hide things on him. Suggest the postponement maturely. Say you love him, but you think this is best. And then give it REAL time. I'm sorry you're going through this now, but it's better than after the marriage and kids. Let him mature and grow a little, and then you'll see if it's meant to be. I learned that both people in a couple have to be 100% emotionally happy and complete in order to be in a healthy relationship. He may not be to that point yet. Maybe, in time, he'll realize...
Good luck.
I completely agree! If it's at the point where you two aren't fighting to fix the problem and you're just fighting against each other then maybe a break from each other is what you both need in order to figure out how and if you should move forward with your relationship. Sometimes it takes more courage to walk away (even for a little while) than it does to stay and let all of your problems escalate.
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Posted 3/23/06 1:28 AM
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