FMIL Vent - Sorry very long

Now I never thought I had a great relationship with FMIL, but I never thought I had a bad one either. I just came back from my hairdresser who is also my FMIL's and my FMIL saw her first after we got engaged and told her. So I asked my hairdresser I said what did she say when she told you. Did she sound happy? She said she did but she also said that she thought she would be more involved in the planning.

I was shocked at this comment because first of all not that much planning has been done. We have only the booked the hall. I wanted her to come to see the hall the night my parents did but she wasn't able to and she was on vacation when we went the Bridal Show. So how did I not include her in anything. She was asked to go to the hall and she wasn't able to yet and we just haven't been able to schedule another date to go but I was always going to have her come see it. Also she has never really asked me about the wedding. I have spoken to her on the phone and she never asks. I was just taken aback by this comment and I just needed to vent. Thanks girls for listening. Sorry this was soooo long

Re: FMIL Vent - Sorry very long

im sorry your dealing with this........it def sux but do the best you can to involve her as much as you want ! dont let anyone stressyou !

Re: FMIL Vent - Sorry very long

i know this doesnt make u feel any better but i absolutely hate my fmil.. like to the point that i could give 2 craps if i ever saw her again. you should just talk to her and get her to go to stores or bridal shows with you.. at least she wants to be involved and isnt a pain in the *** about it

Re: FMIL Vent - Sorry very long

knm1204
I feel the same way about my FMIL. I'm almost done with my planning though and I've asked her numerous times to go to different appointments and events and she alsways had an excuse. Now I feel like she is a little cold with me. Hey I tried my best to be considerate ans include her and that's all you need to do.

Re: FMIL Vent - Sorry very long

It's your wedding, for one.. and if you only just started planning, what is she getting her feathers all ruffled for?? It's entirely up to you to include her in things.. My FMIL is the BIGGEST flake.. have been taking FH's Aunt (FMIL's sister) with me places, namely bc FH is closer to her and 2nd her daughter is getting married in FL 2 months before we are, so she's going thru the same thing..
If she is paying for things, then I say, Yes, she has to be a part.. but don't let it bother you.. there is always going to be a party pooper!!

Re: FMIL Vent - Sorry very long

lol i have the opposite problem! i wish we could just find some point in the middle between your problem and mine--then we'd be set!!

my fmil gets TOO involved in everything. she tries to take the "reigns of control" at all times. she will even ask prices of things that FH and i are paying for ourselves. i include her in a lot of things but sometimes when i go to certain appts and i want it to just be me and my sister she will invite herself along and then make comments that really upset me.

when we went to my florist and the florist asked what color my mom was wearing i said she was dead set on navy blue (we have red hair and pale skin, few colors work with us so she was positive on this color). then the florist asked FMIL what color she would be wearing and she said "dark blue" !!!!!!!!!! UGHHHH!!! first, i didn't ask you to come and now you do come and decide to announce you are stealing my mom's color? so i had FH speak with her about how she CAN'T wear that color. then she's in a mood for days!

this stuff happens ALL the time. she invited herself along to just LOOK at invites one day and she decided to announce that she is not going to be "happy" unless FIL's names appear at the top with my parents names... on the wedding invites and e-party invites. first of all, i wasn't going to put anyones names on the e-party invites b/c that looks too formal, i was just going to put an RSVP at the bottom with (traditionally) my parents phone number. so she says, well my guests are going to RSVP to me either way--with an attitude!! and with the wedding invites i had not even thought about it yet!! i didnt like the fact that she demands things this way. she also tried to demand what favors we were getting b/c she didn't like our donation idea--so she just said, well i'll pay for them and get what i want!!! that's not the point!!!

of course there are a million examples i could go on and on--but i definitely understand why you are upset b/c you HAVE been trying to include her in what few plans have been done but she is either oblivious to it or just a complainer!

if i were you, try to include her in what you want to but don't feel obligated b/c she complained to go out of your way for her--you shouldn't have to do that b/c you did nothing wrong! i think she is being ridiculous.

sorry the part about mine is so long-- i guess i needed to vent too...opposite problem but vent either way lol !!

good luck, i hope it works out!!!

Message edited 3/2/2006 1:46:25 PM.