Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

Hey girls... I just signed on and saw your post about where I have been...

Well I am here, but I have just been a little stressed lately...

One of my good friends just found out he is HIV Positive and I have just been finding it hard to plan a wedding when I feel like I should be doing something better... with my life... with my money... I don't know... you just never know what can happen from one day to the next.

Why do I feel like I am being selfish... when I know I am not... my FH and I work so hard for what we have, our Co-op, and our careers, everything but I feel like... its just a wedding, we can do this anyday and not throw all this money away on all of these things, and should be doing something better with it like donating or anything...

I don't want to put anyone in a depressing mood but I was so shocked when he told me... he doesn't have any family here and not many friends... I didn't know what to say, and I didn't know if I was saying the right things... I just didn't know what to do.. and I usually always have control and I didn't... I have no control of this situation and it just makes me sick... I have lost a lot of close ppl in my life and to see something like this to someone so young it makes me sick... I can hardly write this e mail right now...

Anyway... I didn't tell anyone of my friends about this b/c its not my place to tell... but I fell like I have no one to talk to, and so much pressure and pain inside... but I can't let him see or he will just get upset, which is why I logged on I know you girls are always here.

My FH is says and is most likely right... There is nothing I can do... and we just need to let it be... but why do I feel so selfish...

OH!... I also just got 1 of my wisdom tooth pulled today!!! OUCHY it hurts...

Ok... so I am here and I am back. I wish I could say I was gone b/c I was on vacation or something...

I missed you girls!

Message edited 2/25/2006 8:33:16 PM.

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

Sorry about the friend and the wisdom tooth. I'm glad you know you shouldn't feel guilty. Give yourself some time then re evaluate if you still want the same size/style of wedding, if not then plan something smaller. Be honest with yourself though. There's nothing wrong with wanting a big wedding and if you are paying for it, it's money well spent if it makes you happy. You could do donations to HIV/AIDS research fund as your favors or even do volunteer work if you have the time. It ***** to get news like this but you know what, they are making great strides in HIV research and with proper treatment your friend can still lead a long life. When ones life goes through such a big change, it can make that person get on a new course in life, do what they really wanted to do and really live. We all will die at some point, sadly some of us know that death may be sooner rather than later. Enjoy everything you can while you are here though. I'm sure your friend has realized this too.

ETA: a friend once told me that when you don't know what to say to someone just tell them you'll always be there to listen since sometimes there really is nothing you can say.

Message edited 2/25/2006 9:01:09 PM.

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

Renee,

I am really sorry and I miss you so much! I am really sorry about your friend! I am at a complete lost of words because i never had to deal with such a situtation. I can only imagine the pain! Girl please feel free to contact me if you wanna talk. We are a family of brides here

And your tooth! I have to do mine soon, thanks for the heads up!

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. You know that we are hear for you to talk to about it if you need to. I am finding this website has more to offer than just wedding planning, it offers some really good advice and support. Good luck and stay strong.

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

I am really sorry to hear about your friend.. it must be rough to go through something like that without having family or many friends. Your friend is lucky to have someone like you in their life.. Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do except me supportive and be there.. and of course we are all here for you too!!!

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

Thanks girls...

Eliana the wisdom teeth thing really isn't that bad... I actaully went out to the movies right after... after the numbness though I think I am in pain more from the shots then of the actual tooth being pulled... Who knows.

Thanks again girls!

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

OH...My sweet, sweet Nay Nay!!

That is terrible news and I wish I could just give you a hug I get really mad sometimes at what life throws at us..but its never more than we can handle.

So often it seems that life is only made up of things to worry about. Sometimes life can seem so very grim, and so many times we tend to wallow in pools of self-pity.

I would just like to say... I believe that our time here on earth gives us the opportunity to grow spiritually. We can experience much personal growth because of all the suffering, worries, and difficulties we have to go through during our mortal lives. It is God's(or whatever being you do or don't believe in) way of fine-tuning us so we become more compassionate, more caring, more loving, and more aware of others' pain.

After all, how could we ever dry the tears of others if we had never cried ourselves?

During the times that we feel scared and confused, we will always end up wiser and we will grow more from the experiences. We will understand more about people and life, become more sensitive, and we'll be able to enjoy life more after we go through the hard times.

We have to experience sadness so that we may better measure joy. Life has a way of balancing the sorrow with the joy, the disappointments with the hope, and the emptiness with the meaning.


I did not mean to make this into a novel, but Nay Nay, I felt that your news is some of the worst I've heard in a while. So I thought I'd share with you how I view things and it makes me get through it easier. Again..Like Afrodyt200 said, Some words just can't be said at a time like this...but I'm here whatever you need, whenever..I'm two hours behind ya so if you need someone to talk or email..you know where I am

You and your friend are in my thoughts and prayers

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

Thank you girls... I am crying reading all your post... I have been an emoitional rollarcoaster for the last week and a half...

I have lost so much sleep and gaiend around 7 pounds, no kidding...

I will be ok... although its not about me at this point...

Thanks again girls!
Mwah.

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

Im so sorry hunny times a gazillion. I wish I can say something to take the pain away but there isnt- youre a sweet girl and your friend is lucky to have a friend like you in his life. Feel better girlie. Im here if you need to talk to anyone!

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend........this can be a really hard thing to deal with.....but you can also turn your sorrow and around and do positive things with it. Also im sure you know but you can live with HIv for a long time now.......so goo luck....your friend is in our prayers

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

I'm sorry for what your friend is going through, my thoughts and prayers are with him and his family and friends at this time of need. Stay strong!!

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

So Sorry about your friend

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

Renee.....


Your friend and you are in my prayers....everything will be find.... just put it in God's hands and he will give you both strenght to make it through.

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

so sorry about your friend renee, that is terrible! It is so totally normal for something like that to change your viewpoint on what is really important in this world.

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

Sorry about your friend!




I have no idea what you are going through now but I would agree that you have no control over this... but you could always be there for your friend...
And that's not selfish...

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

i am so so sorry!!! that must be such a hard situation, i cant imagine how you are feeling...i understand about your doubts on spending so much money, but try to remember you are not being selfish!! you deserve it!! i hope you feel better, i think only time will make you feel better unfortunately..if you ever need anything im an fm away!!try to take it easy girl

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. We are ere if you need us.

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

i am sooo sorry to hear about your friend all of my prayers and hugs and thoughts are with you guys..

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend...my thoughts and prayers are with him and we're always here for u if u need someone to talk to

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

So sorry to hear. I want to just hug you.

On a positive note (I'm not trying to make light of the situation), my very good friend has been HIV positive for over 20 years and yes there have been scary times, but we helped him through the depression that goes with it.

He is now handling his disease and stays on his meds. It's not easy, but he has made his mind up to fight. He is an inspiration to us.

There is no way I could know what living with HIV really means, but we can only be there for them.

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

Renee - I am so sorry to hear about your friend

I can totally understand your feelings... but I just want you to know that its OK to still do things that make you happy. You can be the best friend you can be and still plan a wedding (if its still what you want).

I think making a donation (like-instead of favors) to HIV/AIDS is a wonderful idea. Someone mentioned it above. All in all you need to do what you feel you need to do... but just know we are all here for you!

And sorry about that wisdom tooth! YUCK!

We love you!!!!!!

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. We are always here for you.

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

I am so so sorry

I am lacking words - but i hope you feel better

Re: Hi... I am here... I just haven't been in the wedding planning mood...

and