3 Questions about invites and kids at the wedding

Ok, here we go! I hope I said these right!

1) Our FG is 5, and has 3 brothers. We are not inviting anyone under 18. Is it wrong to expect her to be the only child there? (I plan on making her a bag filled w/ movies and fun things to do)

2) If we are inviting a couple, and they have a kid living under their roof that's 18 or over, is it proper to send a separate invite for the 18 yo, instead of one addressed to the family?

3) Which leads me to this question: A lot of the family has young children and when we had our e-party, they expected to bring these kids, and did. But for the wedding, we don't want them, and I would like to avoid having to argue/explain that as much as possible by having the response card read:
Mr. and Mrs. So and So
Will Attend/Can't Attend
Instead of giving them the option to include their whole family on there.

Thank you ladies!

Re: 3 Questions about invites and kids at the wedding

Well I hate to say this, but if you are having children in your wedding party then expect children to come. I myself am having my son who's 7 give me away and my FH's 3 yr old godson be the ringbearer. I want other children to be there. Could you imagine being them and there's no one to talk to , play with! Most won't bring their children because they view it as a day away too. However if some come, and most of the time some do then you have to just deal with it. Besides, have you seen what light children bring to a party like a wedding! They are the cutest thing on the dance floor, little girls dancing on daddys feet. And little boys being all goofy. A lot of this makes for some of the most wonderful pictures for your day.
Your replies are fine, that is pretty much what mine will say. However if the kids come I will have a kiddie table for the ones who are old enough.

Re: 3 Questions about invites and kids at the wedding

I told people ahead of time that there were no children. I debated about writing the names in myself, but I don't know if that would stop people if they wanted to bring their kids.... I think some people will just do what they want. I am not having a FG/RB because I am not having any kids and I didn't think it was fair (all my young cousins want to go but between money and the fact that 2 are MONSTERS I have to exclude them all). As for the older 18 year old that lives at home, I think if you invite that person seperately they may think they can have a date, I'd personally put them on with thier parent's invite, but that's just me, there's probably some sort of etiquite thing about it

Re: 3 Questions about invites and kids at the wedding

1) If the FG is the only child there, then she's the only child. I don't see that as a big deal.

2) I don't know what's 'proper' but if they were 20 and under, I included them with their parents invitation just to make it easier.

3) If you want to do this response:
/'Mr. and Mrs. So and So
Will Attend/Can't Attend
Instead of giving them the option to include their whole family on there."

There's nothing wrong with that, though you should get the word out that no children will be at the wedding.
If any bride says no children, then all guests must respect that wish. You shouldn't have to just put up with just bringing their kids along. However, if people RSVP and include their children's names, you will have to call and tell them that it's not up for discussion, no kids!

Message edited 2/18/2006 6:16:54 PM.

Re: 3 Questions about invites and kids at the wedding

I did not have children at the wedding-- our cut off was 18, but we made one exception down to 16. But, we do not have a lot of small children in our family.

I personally think that if you are having a flower girl, and she has brothers, you need to invite them. It's really all or nothing with this one-- unless you only invite the children that are closest to you- but that would include an entire family.

I would tell people close to you to start spreading the word around that there will be no kids-- but I would not put it on the invite. In terms of your reponse cards-- if you have to customize each one-- that is going to be a lot of extra $$$. Not worth it iIMO.

For children that live at home but are over 18, I sent a separate invite. But-- I really only did this since I realized I had enough to do this. While I think it's nice, it's not necessary and since you need to order invites in sets of 25, think of how many you really need since it can get expensive.

Re: 3 Questions about invites and kids at the wedding

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Posted by thefirstlady

Ok, here we go! I hope I said these right!

1) Our FG is 5, and has 3 brothers. We are not inviting anyone under 18. Is it wrong to expect her to be the only child there? (I plan on making her a bag filled w/ movies and fun things to do)

2) If we are inviting a couple, and they have a kid living under their roof that's 18 or over, is it proper to send a separate invite for the 18 yo, instead of one addressed to the family?

3) Which leads me to this question: A lot of the family has young children and when we had our e-party, they expected to bring these kids, and did. But for the wedding, we don't want them, and I would like to avoid having to argue/explain that as much as possible by having the response card read:
Mr. and Mrs. So and So
Will Attend/Can't Attend
Instead of giving them the option to include their whole family on there.

Thank you ladies!

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Re: 3 Questions about invites and kids at the wedding

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Posted by thefirstlady

Ok, here we go! I hope I said these right!

1) Our FG is 5, and has 3 brothers. We are not inviting anyone under 18. Is it wrong to expect her to be the only child there? (I plan on making her a bag filled w/ movies and fun things to do)

IMHO it's not wrong to expect her to be the only child at the wedding, if she was an only child, but I don't see how you can properly exclude her siblings unless you make arrangements for her to leave following the ceremony.

2) If we are inviting a couple, and they have a kid living under their roof that's 18 or over, is it proper to send a separate invite for the 18 yo, instead of one addressed to the family?

We are sending separate invites to a 16 year old who lives with her mom & step-dad, and to FH's nephews who are ushers (14 & 16). All other teenagers are being invited as the "and family" on the invite. We don't have anyone living at home over the age of 18, but if we did, we would send a separate invite.

3) Which leads me to this question: A lot of the family has young children and when we had our e-party, they expected to bring these kids, and did. But for the wedding, we don't want them, and I would like to avoid having to argue/explain that as much as possible by having the response card read:
Mr. and Mrs. So and So
Will Attend/Can't Attend
Instead of giving them the option to include their whole family on there.

Some people will not get it no matter what you do. If they brought kids to the e-party, they will want to bring them to the wedding, and you will have to rely on word of mouth to let people know that kids are not welcome. Writing out exactly who is invited on the response card might help - but people who think they are entitled to bring their kids will just write them in anyway.

Thank you ladies!

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Re: 3 Questions about invites and kids at the wedding

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Posted by thefirstlady

Ok, here we go! I hope I said these right!

1) Our FG is 5, and has 3 brothers. We are not inviting anyone under 18. Is it wrong to expect her to be the only child there? (I plan on making her a bag filled w/ movies and fun things to do)

2) If we are inviting a couple, and they have a kid living under their roof that's 18 or over, is it proper to send a separate invite for the 18 yo, instead of one addressed to the family?

3) Which leads me to this question: A lot of the family has young children and when we had our e-party, they expected to bring these kids, and did. But for the wedding, we don't want them, and I would like to avoid having to argue/explain that as much as possible by having the response card read:
Mr. and Mrs. So and So
Will Attend/Can't Attend
Instead of giving them the option to include their whole family on there.

Thank you ladies!

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