Tried not to do it but I am just so annoyed and need to vent........

My uncle is gonna make me curse him out. We invited him + his daughter (16 - 18 years old) and he sent back the RSVP checked off with 2 attending (pre-filled) and signed his name (no other name). Easy, right You would think that meant he was coming and just forgot to write the daughter's name on the RSVP.

I asked my mom to find out who he planned to bring (girlfriend, daughter, ?) She didn't want to do it. I had my sister do it and told my sister (MOH) that he checked off two but did not note who he was bringing. I told her that I assume it's his daughter but to please find out. I reminded her that NO YOUNG KIDS are invited to our wedding. He has two young sons.

She called me back to say he is not coming since he said that "nobody will pick and choose who [HE] can bring". Hmmmm. Last time I checked it's OUR F'ING WEDDING We are paying for everything from start to finish (even bought my girls dresses) and he thinks he can bring his entire family (on/off girlfriend, her kid, his teenage daughter and his 2 young sons). This is not a damn BYOB backyard barbeque party, it's a catered affair at a Long Island facility that is costing us per person.

And what pisses me off the most is that we are totally ready to eat the costs of all of this for the people we invite....meaning if none of them shows up with a gift/envelope, that's cool since we want them to attend. But the f'ing nerve to say that he should get to dictate who we invite to OUR wedding or how we allocate our budget I'm ready to call him up and tell him to keep his azz in VA and do not even think about tagging along at some later point.

And what was the point of sending back the RSVP and checking yes His azz planned to bring his whole brood and I guess just expect us to accommodate them the day of It reminds me of marc_rai's post about having to add 11 centerpieces from Flowers by Emil the day of the wedding - yeah - 11 centerpieces is AT LEAST 110 guests who just f'ing showed up with NO RSVP

I'm am soooo annoyed with this wedding crap. We were to elope in Mexico on 2/19/06 but FH insisted that we have this big wedding with darn near 300 people to invite I swear if one more "guest" pulls something like this, I am going to make the call. My sister is FAR NICER than me and I will tell them to keep their azz at home. Save us some money

Re: Tried not to do it but I am just so annoyed and need to vent........

Aww honey. You get

I definitely see why you would be pissed, I would be upset too! Let your MOh work it out and save your energy for more important things!!

Re: Tried not to do it but I am just so annoyed and need to vent........

yes i would po'd also!!!

Re: Tried not to do it but I am just so annoyed and need to vent........

You have every right to rant, rave, yell and scream! That uncle has crossed the line. If you and your FH decide 16 is your age limit then that's what it is.

But, JMO, it is better if he does stay home. Now you don't have to worry that he'll should up with the whole clan and you don't have to worry that he'll show up with just his daughter and no gift in hand. I say- GOOD RIDDANCE!

Re: Tried not to do it but I am just so annoyed and need to vent........

People suck

Re: Tried not to do it but I am just so annoyed and need to vent........

i don't know why but weddings brings out the most ridicilious behavior in people!! i mean they really think they are ENTITLED to come with as many mouths as they want that you have to feed.

i hope you can work all this out--because he's just being a jerk!

Re: Tried not to do it but I am just so annoyed and need to vent........

Let him and the whole family stay home if that's his attitude. And let him know if he tries to show up with more people in tow, then they will be escorted out.

I know a lot of people give in and just deal with it, but not me. I'm too much of a biatch to let things like that slide.

Let your MOH call him and tell him it's either him and his daughter or none of them, and that's that. If he doesn't like it, then they can stay home.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Major family events always seems to bring out the best and worst in people.

Re: Tried not to do it but I am just so annoyed and need to vent........

weddings always bring out the worst in family members K. My motto is if you say your not coming then dont. It eliminates my stress. By the way did you pre-mark your RSVP's with the number of people for some of your guests?

Re: Tried not to do it but I am just so annoyed and need to vent........

That was pretty obnoxious of him.

I think some people don't realize how much it costs for weddings here (my friends from the South and Midwest almost fell over when I gave them the price per head). Usually in those areas, they have something a lot more simple where they can invite everyone (and everyone comes for the meal and then bolts).

Re: Tried not to do it but I am just so annoyed and need to vent........

Our hall requires an alphabatized list of guests in advance. If they are not on it - they are NOT getting in. I am not going to be feeling generous that day so they can sit their azz in the car.

FH said that if they drive/fly all the way from VA/NC/SC/GA then we should let them in but hey, if they made plans to take off work and come to NY for the wedding, why could they not take 10 seconds to send back the RSVP or at least make a call to say they were coming

And not only did we reserve a specific number of seats on the RSVP card (written on each one) but we put the names of those invited ON THE INNER ENVELOPES. There was NO QUESTION that he was invited with his daughter and that is it. He just wants to bring the whole family & his on/off girlfriend and her daughter

My dad ran into some of his cousins at the funeral on Wednesday (cousins that I have not seen in years and would walk past on the street) and they gave him their addresses for invitations He mentioned it but NEVER bothered to actually tell me the addresses

Message edited 2/3/2006 10:10:11 AM.

Re: Tried not to do it but I am just so annoyed and need to vent........

Some people are so unbelievable. I know if it was up to me I would just be like "fine, don't come". You have too much to worry about besides this.

Re: Tried not to do it but I am just so annoyed and need to vent........

Sorry to hear that people are so inconsiderate

Re: Tried not to do it but I am just so annoyed and need to vent........

K, quick question. Did you address the invite to him and the daughter's name? If so, and he checked yes, then he should bring the girl since that's who it was addressed to. However, if you addressed it to him and "guest" then he could bring whomever he chooses. Yes, it's your wedding, but you can't control who your guests bring. I mean, you can, but that's pretty controlling (and bridezilla-ish) and will cause them all to not attend out of anger...in my eyes, he has a right to say that you can't tell him who to bring. He's right.

You need to breathe and relax...remember that you're invitng these people because you want them to be there and that they're traveling and possibly taking off work to be there...so think about it from their POV. If he's allowed to bring a "guest" wouldn't he rather bring his GF and make a trip out of it? If you wanted him and the daughter to come, you should have addressed it as such. The day of, it won't matter anyway. You'll be focused on your groom...and the fact that you're married!

As always, my honest opinion.

And I have to add, the wedding is turning you into a madwoman. Don't take things so personally...you're going to get sick!

ETA: My "advice" only applies if he indeed planned on "following" the RSVP card that he sent back (girl, you got good guests...they send their cards back!! I'm still missing about 30! ) and only bringing a guest. However, if he was planning on brining his entire fam and not saying a thing...eff him! But from what you posted it doesn't sound like he was trying anything...

Message edited 2/3/2006 10:25:30 AM.

Re: Tried not to do it but I am just so annoyed and need to vent........

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Posted by SomethingBlu

K, quick question. Did you address the invite to him and the daughter's name? If so, and he checked yes, then he should bring the girl since that's who it was addressed to. However, if you addressed it to him and "guest" then he could bring whomever he chooses. Yes, it's your wedding, but you can't control who your guests bring. I mean, you can, but that's pretty controlling (and bridezilla-ish) and will cause them all to not attend out of anger...in my eyes, he has a right to say that you can't tell him who to bring. He's right.

You need to breathe and relax...remember that you're invitng these people because you want them to be there and that they're traveling and possibly taking off work to be there...so think about it from their POV. If he's allowed to bring a "guest" wouldn't he rather bring his GF and make a trip out of it? If you wanted him and the daughter to come, you should have addressed it as such. The day of, it won't matter anyway. You'll be focused on your groom...and the fact that you're married!

As always, my honest opinion.

And I have to add, the wedding is turning you into a madwoman. Don't take things so personally...you're going to get sick!

ETA: My "advice" only applies if he indeed planned on "following" the RSVP card that he sent back (girl, you got good guests...they send their cards back!! I'm still missing about 30! ) and only bringing a guest. However, if he was planning on brining his entire fam and not saying a thing...eff him! But from what you posted it doesn't sound like he was trying anything...

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Message edited 2/3/2006 10:42:00 AM.

Re: Tried not to do it but I am just so annoyed and need to vent........

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Posted by akaMrsT
I am flipping out People suck.

Sasha, you know I put the names And I put in the number of reserved seats. I left nothing to chance but was wrong to assume that he would bring the person listed on the invite

And get this, my mom told him that no young kids were invited. He was just planning to show up with his entire brood without telling me. I explained to my mom that we would need to pay for extra guests on the day of the wedding and I REFUSE TO BRING A WAD OF CASH JUST TO COVER THE POTENTIAL INCONSIDERATE PEOPLE WHO DO NOT RSVP or at least call us to say they are coming. Like I will have pockets on my wedding dress FH is planning to bring $2k just in case but he should not have to do that - that is honeymoon money

Now I totally get that bride who asked her planner to make people pay who showed up with no RSVP. It was one of those shows like Whose Wedding is it Anyway

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Re: Tried not to do it but I am just so annoyed and need to vent........

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Posted by SomethingBlu

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Posted by akaMrsT
I am flipping out People suck.

Sasha, you know I put the names And I put in the number of reserved seats. I left nothing to chance but was wrong to assume that he would bring the person listed on the invite

And get this, my mom told him that no young kids were invited. He was just planning to show up with his entire brood without telling me. I explained to my mom that we would need to pay for extra guests on the day of the wedding and I REFUSE TO BRING A WAD OF CASH JUST TO COVER THE POTENTIAL INCONSIDERATE PEOPLE WHO DO NOT RSVP or at least call us to say they are coming. Like I will have pockets on my wedding dress FH is planning to bring $2k just in case but he should not have to do that - that is honeymoon money

Now I totally get that bride who asked her planner to make people pay who showed up with no RSVP. It was one of those shows like Whose Wedding is it Anyway

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OK, in that case, yes, he's an azz. People (at least some of my guests) don't get the whole "pay per plate" thing and they do think it's a BBQ or buffet.

It's almost over! When's your RSVP date again? I have to send mine back!!

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Re: Tried not to do it but I am just so annoyed and need to vent........

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Posted by akaMrsT

You get a pass since you may be moving

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