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esb980
2 years........
Member since 7/05 3150 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/2/2006 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Beach Club Estate
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I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
Talking about my wedding with her is driving me nuts!! It makes m not like her, and I don't want to feel that way!
She has not contributed ANYTHING and won't be. And thats fine. But it annoys me a little since they paid for his siters ENTIRE wedding, HM and all, and she can't even give her son a rd?
She complains about how her daaughters in-laws didn't help at all and it was terrible.
She comes over last night and made some suggestions about how I could cut wedding costs:
1.Tell the church I can't afford the $250 pastor fee.
2. do my own hair and MU. I can't do my own hair and u that well on a good day, i can't even imagine trying with my nerves all over the place!
3. Go to PA for my HM, that way I don't have to get a passport, and why do Ihave to be a big shot anyway and go somewhere that requires a plane (I am planning on spending less then $3500, and fh and I have not been on a VAca in over 4 years!!)
4. Don't buy my bm's gifts
5. Host my RD in my tiny apt. That no one will fit in.
6. Don't get favors
7. get a fake wedding band, or sell my e-ring and get a cz.
8. don't get prof pics taken, they are aparently no different from onesshe can take
There was more, but I can't think.....
She also told me I should tell my dad he HAS to pay for more (He is allready paying for most of the wedding)
So I said, "What do you mean he has to, well if you want to go all traditional, you should pay for our HM, RD, and marriage licence!!"
she said, "Forget aout that, your dad should pay for that"
I have just had it up to here, I feeel like crying!!!
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Posted 1/29/06 9:31 AM 
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abs711
Wedding Newbie
Member since 7/05 19 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/13/2008 10:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
I am so sorry! She sounds worse than mine. I agree keep her out of it. 
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Posted 1/29/06 10:00 AM
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Maybride07
Suprise!
Member since 7/05 4360 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/25/2007 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Crest Hollow Country Club
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
That's horrible!!! I wouldn't talk to her about ANYTHING wedding related anymore. She obviously has issues.
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Posted 1/29/06 10:03 AM
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diggity10
One year!!!
Member since 2/05 1566 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/9/2006 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
UGH! I know how you feel! My FMIL wants to know about the wedding plans so I tell her but she will usually have a comment. Ive been ignoring them b/c she really has no say since she isnt paying for a cent of the wedding!
I dont offer information unless she asks for it and then I'm usually vague with my answer. Maybe I'm being a biotch but I rather not fight with FH or her about it.
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Posted 1/29/06 10:03 AM
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ETAB
I am a MRS!!!
Member since 11/05 1703 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/23/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
what does your FH say about the situation? When she decided to help out then she can be apart of it... until then do not tell her anything.
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Posted 1/29/06 10:04 AM
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Blu-ize
My House
Member since 8/04 8305 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/28/1998 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
East Meadow Jewish Center
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
First, I can't believe she even said any of that! Does she need to up the meds?
Second: You could mention to her in a very serious way that you expected her to contribute to the wedding since your dad is paying for most of it and you are very disappointed that she doesn't want to help. These days, weddings are a tremendous undertaking financially and require that families contribute in some way. (not that this happens all the time)
I would put the ball in her court. She has to take some responsibility for her son. Come to think of it, your FH should really say this to her.
I'm just a ballsy biatch and I would have flattened her already. I agree don't discuss any of this with her. If you make her feel alienated about the whole wedding-maybe she'll get the hint. If she tries to bring it up with you, simply answer that you have nothing to discuss.
Sending hugs..
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Posted 1/29/06 10:11 AM
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BrideInBlue
We're Married!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 10/05 1039 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/11/2007 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Russo's on the Bay
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
7. get a fake wedding band, or sell my e-ring and get a cz.
OMG forget not wanting to pay for anything or telling you to cut back...but suggesting that you sell /get a fake ring is crazy! Your rings are daily reminders of you and fh's love (and lets face it when you need a pick me up on a bad day its nice to have something pretty and sparkly to look at)
Does your fh know that she said this? I would think that he would be annoyed by this and step in maybe? There is only so much you can take. Definatley stop talking about wedding stuff ...pretend to be mute when she arround or better yet you could take up being a mime ...that'd make her crazy lol...or maybe this is me wanting to do this to my FMIL about wedding stuff....either way keep her away from your wedding planning!
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Posted 1/30/06 5:12 AM
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italiabride
Board Enthusiast
Member since 5/05 174 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/6/2006 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Snuff Mill at NYBG
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
Boy, do I know how you feel.
Not talking about wedding plans with FMIL is probably the best solution. After I almost told my FMIL off one day, I promised myself that from now on I'll just tell her "things are going well" when asked.
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Posted 1/30/06 6:52 AM
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Happybride2005
SPRING IS ALMOST HERE
Member since 5/04 15891 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Ariana Waterfall A+++++++++
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
we chose to go to the poconos for the hm because we wanted to drive. i would've flown somewhere too. what does your fh say about this
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Posted 1/30/06 8:31 AM
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Kathy&Chris
Board Enthusiast
Member since 7/05 163 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/28/2006 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
are you kidding me about her?! omg i would die if that were me, but seriously, if i were you, and your parents or dad are paying for almost the whole thing, then i wouldn't even care what she says or thinks...put it this way, whoever is not contributing, should have no say in how you want your wedding or hm, or anything for that matter! have a heart to heart with fh also. sounds like you need his support.
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Posted 1/30/06 9:04 AM
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Noonie
One yr already? That went fast
Member since 11/05 1058 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/16/2006 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Have you spoken to your FH about it? Maybe he can tell her to back off a bit.
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Posted 1/30/06 9:10 AM
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PrincessRose
At least I'm entertaining. ;-)
Member since 9/03 4669 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/29/2004 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
Chateau Briand
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
Look at it this way - at least your FMIL doesn't demand expensive things at your wedding and refuse to contribute towards them, right?
But I agree, she's a total biatch.
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Posted 1/30/06 9:10 AM
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SuzBride
The Jack!
Member since 1/05 9762 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/8/2006 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
Land's End :) 11!
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
OMG - really I have no words. That is INSANE!
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Posted 1/30/06 9:15 AM
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Mygmans
Board Fanatic
Member since 9/05 896 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/5/2006 1:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
OMG- I cant believe it. I guess the less you tell her the better off you are. Some of those ideas she gave you are just down right ridiculous. Im sorry you have to go through this.
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Posted 1/30/06 9:32 AM
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esb980
2 years........
Member since 7/05 3150 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/2/2006 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Beach Club Estate
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
Posted by Happybride2005
we chose to go to the poconos for the hm because we wanted to drive. i would've flown somewhere too. what does your fh say about this
I don't think that there is ANYTHING wrong w/ going to the Poconos. I really like the Poconos. What pisses me off is that she PAID for her daughter to go to Hawaii as a gift.
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Posted 1/30/06 9:46 AM
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esb980
2 years........
Member since 7/05 3150 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/2/2006 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Beach Club Estate
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
Thank you girls for all your support. I don't even bother to tell FH what she says. Theres no point. It will just upet him. OR he won't get it. Ugh... she drives me NUTS.
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Posted 1/30/06 9:48 AM
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nov06
I'M MARRIED!!!!
Member since 11/05 1550 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/4/2006 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
Wow, she sounds crazy. Can your FI maybe talk to her and tell her to shut up. If you can just don't talk about the wedding. The last thing you need is more stress over stupid things people say and do.
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Posted 1/30/06 9:50 AM
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nygirl77
It's over already??
Member since 9/05 1817 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/28/2006 11:45 AM
Wed. Location:
Fox Hollow
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
What nerve that lady has. I am so sorry you have to go deal with this right now.
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Posted 1/30/06 10:18 AM
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Tina120206
THAT IS ME???? wow
Member since 8/05 1214 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/2/2006 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
DeSeversky a+
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
Seriously, I am so sorry. She sounds one McNugget short of a Happy Meal. Good luck to ya.
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Posted 1/30/06 10:35 AM
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jellybean1420
Board Fanatic
Member since 3/05 752 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/10/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
North Ritz Club
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
Oh my god....she is horrible!!!! What does FH say? He better tell her to shut-up or you should. Don't let her ruin your wedding plans and big day. What an *******!
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Posted 1/30/06 4:11 PM
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Soon2BeMrs2006
So much to do so little time
Member since 6/05 10463 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/20/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
OMG is she freakin nuts???? What is she on???
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Posted 1/30/06 4:22 PM
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JanuaryBride06
boyfriend in my head
Member since 4/05 13018 total posts
Wedding Date:
1/8/2006 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
Unfortunately, MANY brides are having FMIL or FIL issues - don't talk to her about the wedding if you can help you. You don't need people making foolish comments like any that you've posted.
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Posted 1/30/06 4:24 PM
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BJandDan
Happily Married :)
Member since 6/05 4574 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/1/2006 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor- A+++
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
I would say something to FH. It isn't right. It seems that she is bullying you when he isn't around!?!? How horrible! I would definetely say something Eleanor!!!
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Posted 1/30/06 4:39 PM
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BKtoLI
Some things just never change
Member since 6/05 8519 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/30/2006 4:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace - A++
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
This is exactly why some people believe in the rule of "no pay, no say". It's for situations like this.
I can't believe that she would suggest such crazy things.
Just leave her out of the loop as much as you can. When she asks how things are going, just say they are getting done. I realize people might say it's mean to do this, but it looks like you might have to just to keep your sanity!!
And if it were me, I would tell FH. He should be dealing with her, not you.
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Posted 1/30/06 4:46 PM
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amstellitelady
I'M MARRIED....WHOO HOO
Member since 9/04 1967 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/12/2006 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Stewart Manor Country Club
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Re: I am NOT talking about wedding plans w/ my FMIL anymore!!
how treadful. lots of hugs coming your way
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Posted 1/30/06 4:49 PM
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