A bit disappointed (UPDATE)

Since Mom is not able to come to any of the last appointments with vendors, it has been up to FH, my sisters and myself to do those meetings together. I take pictures wherever we go and show them to Mom so she doesn't feel left out. She is paying for the wedding and I respect that she has a right to have input.

So yesterday sister #1 shows her the pictures that sister #2 and I took at the florist of the sample CP. Mom told me she thought they were beautiful after she saw them on the phone yesterday and in person today. When sister #2 spoke to Mom today to tell her how great things went at the appointment, she said they were "nothing special" and would have picked something "more exotic". Well that was just another sucker punch to my gut. It really hurt. Its bad enough that we turned our lives upside down and inside out to take care of her and we can't do enough to keep her abreast of every aspect of the planning, but OUCH!

I spent the past hour crying. She told my sister that she thought I just accepted what was given to me and settled. I tell you I was there for almost 2 hours picking things out and tweaking the arrangement and I even changed some of the greens that were underneath that NOBODY would see because I thought they were ordinary.

I am upset on so many levels. 1) Mom wasn't honest with me. 2) My sister should have exercised a little discretion knowing how fragile I am lately. 3) Mom can't see how hard we are trying to do things in the way that she would have.

One more disappointment and I am gonna lose it.

UPDATE- YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS!

MAJOR MISUNDERSTANDING!

My sister called me back. We had some of the flowers from the sample CP made into an arrangement and sent to Mom as a really miniaturized version so she felt a part of things. The real centerpiece is massive and obviously innappropriate for a hospital room. Well the flowers had started to wilt slightly as they had been around a for a day or two before they were shipped. We knew that might happen. It seems as if mom thought the arrangement we had sent was the actual size of the centerpiece. I guess the drugs they give her in the hospital are more potent than we thought.

I feel like a jacka$$. I need to remind myself that my Mom is not the woman she used to be. She doesnt retain and process information the way she used to and it isnt going to get better. I never thought of myself as a caretaker but we, the four siblings, have all become caretakers.

Message edited 1/21/2006 8:00:34 PM.

Re: A bit disappointed

im bad at giving mom advice, because mine annoys the hell out of me, and it seems like you are going so above and beyond for yours, something that i would have a hard time doing for mine, so im just going to send you a bunch of hugs... remember this day is supposed to be about you and FH so poopoo on anyone that tries to change that!

Re: A bit disappointed

Leslie, I saw your post with your sample CP and I absolutely think they look exotic. I've never seen a CP like that, and I loved it. Let me tell you, there aren't many CPs that make me go Wow, and yours did. I think your mom probably didn't want you to worry about anything extra, and that's why she didn't tell you the truth. She must have known that this is a hard time for you too, and didn't want to upset you. But I completely understand why you are so upset. Hugs to you!

Re: A bit disappointed (UPDATE)

UPDATE ABOVE

Re: A bit disappointed (UPDATE)

Leslie, I had a feeling it was a misunderstanding I am glad that it worked out! Hope you are feeling better...that CP is amazing!

Re: A bit disappointed (UPDATE)

I'm so glad! It sounded like you were trying so hard and it still wasn't enough - I hate that feeling! I'm so glad it was just a misunderstanding. I'd love to see a pic of your CP, I couldn't seem to find the thread where you posted it :)

Re: A bit disappointed (UPDATE)

Yeah I am glad it was a misunderstanding but it makes me realize that Mom's limitations are increasing and she is so dependent on us. I wasn't supposed to be worrying about this kind of stuff. Most of you all have bout 20 years before you will have to deal with this. My siblings are much older than I am and they are better equipped than I am for this type of thing. It's weird, FH's mom is closer in age to my sister than my mother.

Re: A bit disappointed (UPDATE)

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Posted by kittythestray

I'm so glad! It sounded like you were trying so hard and it still wasn't enough - I hate that feeling! I'm so glad it was just a misunderstanding. I'd love to see a pic of your CP, I couldn't seem to find the thread where you posted it :)

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Re: A bit disappointed (UPDATE)

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Posted by Goldi1021

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Posted by kittythestray

I'm so glad! It sounded like you were trying so hard and it still wasn't enough - I hate that feeling! I'm so glad it was just a misunderstanding. I'd love to see a pic of your CP, I couldn't seem to find the thread where you posted it :)

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Right here:
Sample CP

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Re: A bit disappointed (UPDATE)

I'm happy it was a misunderstanding, as I'm sure it was because your CP is stunning. So that's great news!

But I'm sorry that Mom isn't doing that well. It's one of the toughest things us "kids" have to deal with...btu I applaud your love for your mom.

Praying for Mom's health...and your sanity!

Re: A bit disappointed (UPDATE)

Re: A bit disappointed (UPDATE)

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Posted by SomethingBlu
Praying for Mom's health...and your sanity!

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Re: A bit disappointed (UPDATE)

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Posted by Goldi1021

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Posted by SomethingBlu
Praying for Mom's health...and your sanity!

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Thanks but I lost my sanity a very very very long time ago.

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Re: A bit disappointed (UPDATE)

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Posted by SomethingBlu

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Posted by Goldi1021

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Posted by SomethingBlu
Praying for Mom's health...and your sanity!

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Thanks but I lost my sanity a very very very long time ago.

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I pray that it comes back, even if just for 2/18!

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Re: A bit disappointed (UPDATE)

Leslie, I am so glad that it was just a misunderstanding!! Plus you have to remember looking at a small sample or photograph is not quite the same as seeing it in full in person.

All of your efforts will be worth it in the end! I am here if you need me, even if it's just an ear to listen to your vents!!

Re: A bit disappointed (UPDATE)

I'm glad it was a misunderstanding. Your flowers are gorgeous.

Re: A bit disappointed (UPDATE)

I'm glad that this was all a misunderstanding. You didn't need that kind of stress so close to your wedding with all that you have already been through. Besides, who in their right mind wouldn't love that CP?

Re: A bit disappointed (UPDATE)

I understand what you mean when you say that your siblings are much older than you. I'm the baby in the family too. It's hard for us to watch our parents get older.

Re: A bit disappointed (UPDATE)