spinoff to having friends.family get married around the same time as you

if you knew someone getting married near the same time as you, and then did pretty much everything completely different than you, did you or would you feel somewhat offended?
weird question, i know but.... my best friend got married 6 weeks after me, and did pretty much everything the opposite of me- and kinda made it clear why " we're not taking pictures outside, because it was so hot taking pictures outside for yours" .... " my FI didn't like how at your wedding when they introduced the wedding party at the reception, it was loud and upbeat- so we're having the DJ play a more mellow song...."
things like that- granted, her and her DH are SUPER religious, and just very kind of weird in general.... but i guess it was just the way she said these things that kinda hurt me a little bit....
anybody else have a similar thing??

Re: spinoff to having friends.family get married around the same time as you

I have a friend who just got married and thinks her wedding was perfect. Every wedding she goes to, she comments about how awful their wedding is.. she picks on everything. Meanwhile, if she sees that someone copied what she did, she gets very upset and can't believe someone had the 'nerve' to duplicate her idea! Go figure!!

Re: spinoff to having friends.family get married around the same time as you

My best frien is getting married a month before me but I picked all my vendors before her. Now she booked some of the same vendors which I think is great because I get to see the vendors in action and "tweak" what I like or don't like. I don't think it's a matter of doing everything opposite than you but just doing things in her style. I woudn't be offended.

Re: spinoff to having friends.family get married around the same time as you

My friend is getting married 10/8 and I'm getting married on 10/29, and we're doing everything completely different simply because we have different tastes in things.

However, I am actually making an effort not to duplicate certain things that she is doing at her wedding, because since hers is first, I don't want it to seem that I am "copying" her ideas. For example, I was considering burgandy colored BM dresses until I found out that she was using wine colored ones.

I like to be original, and unless someone is critisizing my wedding, I would prefer it if they did things differently than I did simply because I already did them or planned on doing them.

Re: spinoff to having friends.family get married around the same time as you

My wedding is 5 weeks before my MOH's. Since she planned her wedding several months in advance - I'm trying not to steal any of her ideas, because even though she said it was okay, I can tell it pisses her off that my wedding is before hers. I went with pink instead of lavendar because she had already chosen the color. Other than that, we have pretty different taste. Although, she wants to use the same BM dresses that I chose - but hers will look completely different because of the color. Mine will be pink & black and hers will be all lavendar.

Re: spinoff to having friends.family get married around the same time as you

Message edited 6/9/2006 4:20:17 PM.

Re: spinoff to having friends.family get married around the same time as you

My cousin and I were engaged a day apart and oh the drama it had caused at times. Want to say different? She's having a small destination wedding in Florida and I am having a big long island wedding in the fall. I've heard time and time again how insane it is to have to many people, what waste of money a big wedding is, blah blah blah. I just say whatever to it. This is our day and no other person's wedding can take it from us. You don't want a band? A big wedding? Well, I do, and its gonna be amazing!

Re: spinoff to having friends.family get married around the same time as you

I would be hurt as well, since she basically told you what they didn't like about your wedding, it would hurt regardless of how close together our weddings were. Obviously, not everyone likes the same thing so all weddings will be at least slightly different!

I'm taking the good things I've liked from different weddings, sort of a montage. I've been to so many, it's hard not to duplicate things.

Re: spinoff to having friends.family get married around the same time as you

I have to say.... I have a friend who is getting married this spring... we are not like that however, there have been people involved that are like that in the weddings.... it has been amazing to me the ugliness that has arose..... I would have never imagined it... in a small way, I can't wait for everyone to just be married so this all ends.... as for us though.. we are happy as long as we don't listen to it all...

Re: spinoff to having friends.family get married around the same time as you

My Moh is getting married one month before me... We are doing lots of things differently, but thats just who we are...we have different styles and tastes... I know she is not doing to to be the opposite of me to be mean, we just like different things.. we have a different vision of the day

Message edited 1/12/2006 11:39:36 AM.

Re: spinoff to having friends.family get married around the same time as you

My "friend" got engaged after me and her wedding is before mine. It has caused problems. She doesn't take any of my advice and has spent way over budget because of it. Not to mention they will be divorced because she is in an abusive relationship....But I can't say anything...I wish I could.

Re: spinoff to having friends.family get married around the same time as you

It definately is hurtful to hear your stories. It definately sounds like those people who are critizing your wedding and what you guys planned are trying to be better, or outdo. But its not a competition and even if you said that to the person who i saying the hurtful comments, they probably wouldnt realize they are being cruel with those comments. No one should take away from your day, and everyone is entitled to do what they want and Im sure all of our weddings will be spectacular!!!

Re: spinoff to having friends.family get married around the same time as you

Everyone is entitled to have their wedding their way. However, she did not have to knock your way. I guess I would be offended since she basically did not like your way and made the comment as negative.

Re: spinoff to having friends.family get married around the same time as you

I'm getting married in June and I have a cousin (and BM) getting married in November. I'm having a Saturday night, very "springy" wedding while she's planning a more mellow, Sunday brunch fall wedding. It isn't to be different or opposite of one another, it's just what best matches our personalities and what we want for our special days.