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SuzBride
The Jack!

Member since 1/05 9762 total posts
Wedding Date: 7/8/2006 11:30 AM
Wed. Location: Land's End :) 11!
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Engagement Gifts
OK so one of my best friends just got engaged. They are not having an e-party as they are planning their wedding for this coming summer. So I was planning on giving them a monetary engagement gift, but then I just read in Brides magazine that it is rude to give a close friend $$$ - especially for a engagement or shower gift. Do you agree? I would love to get them a gift, but they already live together and have pretty much everything they need, and they are paying for their own wedding so I thought $$$ would be good.
Is $$$ too impersonal? UGH what do you think?
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Posted 1/4/06 9:31 AM
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aliwnec10
I love my husband!

Member since 9/05 2164 total posts
Wedding Date: 10/7/2006 5:30 PM
Wed. Location: Gurneys Inn in Montauk
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Re: Engagement Gifts
Since they are not having an e-party, than i personally would not send money. I know you said that they are living together, but how about something that's not for their house/apartment. When my friend got engaged, i just got her something for the wedding itself. Like, i got her a wedding binder thingy to put all her info in and a subscription to martha stewart weddings. Just something different, but yet stuff she can easily use.
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Posted 1/4/06 9:36 AM
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nov06
I'M MARRIED!!!!
Member since 11/05 1550 total posts
Wedding Date: 11/4/2006 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Engagement Gifts
One of my friends just gave me money as a gift. She was waiting to see if I was going to have an engagement party or not. She said she thought we could use the money instead of another gift. She's right, we've gotten so many gifts already, which are great, but we really really really need money.
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Posted 1/4/06 9:52 AM
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mka06
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 7/05 1171 total posts
Wedding Date: 6/24/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location: booked!
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Re: Engagement Gifts
We gave one of our close friends money at their eparty. I didn't think it was rude. They weren't registered yet and I had no idea what their plans were for decorating, etc...
They already live together and our friend's fiancee is older and owns a lot. I figured they could use the money for whatever they wanted! I don't think they took offense.
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Posted 1/4/06 9:55 AM
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MayBride06
It's all about the flatbread!!
Member since 11/03 5556 total posts
Wedding Date: 5/28/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location: out east
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Re: Engagement Gifts
Have they set a date yet? My two favorite gifts are my crystal toasting flutes and my cake cutter with our engraved wedding dtae on them! I am sure they would appreciate money!
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Posted 1/4/06 10:02 AM
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MissingTheBGene
We're homeowners!

Member since 6/05 4547 total posts
Wedding Date: 6/2/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location: The Woodlands
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Re: Engagement Gifts
I don't think giving money is rude, especially since they already have a lot of stuff for their home and to put it bluntly, they are going to need it anyway! If you don't feel comfortable giving this, then I agree with maybe the wedding binder and the engraved toasting flutes and cake cutter.
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Posted 1/4/06 10:06 AM
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69
I'm married!!!!!

Member since 8/05 1267 total posts
Wedding Date: 9/2/2006 12:30 PM
Wed. Location: Flowerfield
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Re: Engagement Gifts
I gave my BF $100. I didn't know if she was going to have a party.. then she did and I bought her a $50 gift.... I don't think it's rude to send $, people need it!!!
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Posted 1/4/06 10:09 AM
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cindyandkevin
To have and to hold

Member since 2/05 21575 total posts
Wedding Date: 6/10/2006 5:00 PM
Wed. Location: Stonebridge Country Club
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Re: Engagement Gifts
I can't see how any newly engaged couple wouldn't appreciate a monetary gift. As a close friend that's also getting married you understand that they need the $$$. I don't always agree with what's in the magazines and this is one of those times!
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Posted 1/4/06 10:12 AM
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LaurenluvsTJ
Married life is sweet!

Member since 1/05 11868 total posts
Wedding Date: 5/28/2006 12:00 PM
Wed. Location: Westbury Manor
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Re: Engagement Gifts
Well I think money is always appreciated. But if you don't want to do that, you can get them something for the wedding, like toasting flutes or a lenox cake topper.
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Posted 1/4/06 10:17 AM
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MayBride06
It's all about the flatbread!!
Member since 11/03 5556 total posts
Wedding Date: 5/28/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location: out east
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Re: Engagement Gifts
I actually read in a bridal magazine that its impersonal to give money for a wedding!!! I hope none of my guests read that article!!!
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Posted 1/4/06 10:31 AM
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SuzBride
The Jack!

Member since 1/05 9762 total posts
Wedding Date: 7/8/2006 11:30 AM
Wed. Location: Land's End :) 11!
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Re: Engagement Gifts
Posted by MayBride06
I actually read in a bridal magazine that its impersonal to give money for a wedding!!! I hope none of my guests read that article!!!
OMG - I can't even imagine giving anything except $$$ for a wedding. I think I will give her and her FH $$$$ and maybe a small gift. I don't want to get them toasting flutes or something like that since she hasn't picked hers out yet (and I know I am picky about that stuff).
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Posted 1/4/06 10:46 AM
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itslaurie.
totally

Member since 7/05 7871 total posts
Wedding Date: 8/19/2006 6:00 PM
Wed. Location: Lauren's moms house
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Re: Engagement Gifts
we did not have an engagement party. One of my oldest and bestest friends gave us a generous check and a really nice card - and it was GREATLY appreciated. We deposited it right in to our wedding fund. I was not expecting anything and I was not offended in any way.
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Posted 1/4/06 10:48 AM
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johnsae
MARRIED!!!!

Member since 3/05 6258 total posts
Wedding Date: 5/6/2006 5:00 PM
Wed. Location: Capitale
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Re: Engagement Gifts
whaaa?? money is ALWAYS good to receive
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Posted 1/4/06 11:22 AM
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WoC2
Board Enthusiast
Member since 12/05 88 total posts
Wedding Date: 9/2/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Engagement Gifts
I think we all can use the money!!
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Posted 1/4/06 12:51 PM
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Beth1210
I want to do it again!

Member since 6/05 4048 total posts
Wedding Date: 12/10/2005 7:30 PM
Wed. Location: Flowerfield
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Re: Engagement Gifts
in many other parts of the country it might be considered rude- in New York, New Jersey, CT
I don't think it would ever be considered rude!
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Posted 1/4/06 12:58 PM
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Katie&Chris2006
I love Chris

Member since 11/05 5998 total posts
Wedding Date: 11/18/2006 10:30 AM
Wed. Location: Watermill - A+
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Re: Engagement Gifts
I think money is fine...especially since that is what FH&I need right now. Maybe you could do a very small personal gift as well. My friends just gave me an ornament with our names and date on it. I love it!
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Posted 1/4/06 1:46 PM
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JCam695
Married my True Love
Member since 8/05 1479 total posts
Wedding Date: 6/24/2006 6:00 PM
Wed. Location: DeSeversky - B+
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Re: Engagement Gifts
We didn't have an e-party either. Most people sent us registry gifts and our parents gave us $$$. I would have LOVED to get $$$.
I think it's totally acceptable. I'm sure they'll put it to good use.
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Posted 1/4/06 1:46 PM
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mtdr1106
1 year down - a lifetime to go

Member since 7/05 4449 total posts
Wedding Date: 11/11/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location: leonards - A++
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Re: Engagement Gifts
Posted by cindyandkevin
I can't see how any newly engaged couple wouldn't appreciate a monetary gift. As a close friend that's also getting married you understand that they need the $$$. I don't always agree with what's in the magazines and this is one of those times!
i couldn't have said it better. i totally agree - $$ also seems to be more useful to them @ this time.
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Posted 1/4/06 1:48 PM
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Mystere
I'm married!!!

Member since 3/05 1917 total posts
Wedding Date: 2/11/2006 10:30 AM
Wed. Location: The Sand Castle
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Re: Engagement Gifts
Money always helps but my favorite gift when i got engaged was a book i believe was called "bridal bargains" which is by far the best thing i have received since getting engaged - it helped soo much when it came to planning.
Personally I'd buy the book, a nice card, tuck some money into the card write a nice note and tuck it into the book!
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Posted 1/4/06 1:50 PM
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SuzBride
The Jack!

Member since 1/05 9762 total posts
Wedding Date: 7/8/2006 11:30 AM
Wed. Location: Land's End :) 11!
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Re: Engagement Gifts
Posted by Mystere
Money always helps but my favorite gift when i got engaged was a book i believe was called "bridal bargains" which is by far the best thing i have received since getting engaged - it helped soo much when it came to planning.
Personally I'd buy the book, a nice card, tuck some money into the card write a nice note and tuck it into the book!
I might just do exactly that! Thanks
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Posted 1/4/06 1:53 PM
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ali120206
Over a year!

Member since 10/05 4386 total posts
Wedding Date: 12/2/2006 2:00 PM
Wed. Location: Hyatt Windwatch
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Re: Engagement Gifts
Posted by Mystere
Money always helps but my favorite gift when i got engaged was a book i believe was called "bridal bargains" which is by far the best thing i have received since getting engaged - it helped soo much when it came to planning.
Personally I'd buy the book, a nice card, tuck some money into the card write a nice note and tuck it into the book!
I love that book, I now have three copies that have been passed down by former brides.
Money isn't a bad thing, we didn't have an e-party but, we got a lot of gifts. I had registered right away since we were planning on living together before hand and my 30th birthday was coming up. Since my cousin who got engaged a month before me had an e-party, I got engagement gifts at my 30th b-day party.
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Posted 1/4/06 1:56 PM
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suzybilly819
MARRIED

Member since 8/05 1323 total posts
Wedding Date: 7/15/2006 12:00 PM
Wed. Location: Venetian Yacht club
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Re: Engagement Gifts
A gift card to a store they will register at.
Another nice gift, could be toasting glasses or anything from Tiffany's I got candlesticks from Tiffany's and loved them.
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Posted 1/4/06 3:58 PM
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LaLa
Board Fanatic
Member since 3/05 542 total posts
Wedding Date: 1/6/2007 5:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Engagement Gifts
I think money is a totally acceptable gift for an engagement and a wedding gift.
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Posted 1/4/06 4:25 PM
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Tommylove
"I'm Addicted"

Member since 1/05 1026 total posts
Wedding Date: 7/1/2006 1:00 PM
Wed. Location: Coral House A+
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Re: Engagement Gifts
No way $$$$ is always the best gift. We couldn't of been any happier getting money for our engagement party. Everyone gave us cash and it really did help. We used that money for our closing costs for our house.
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Posted 1/4/06 4:39 PM
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MrsH1156
I'm a Mommy!!

Member since 10/05 3313 total posts
Wedding Date: 11/5/2006 11:30 AM
Wed. Location: East Wind AA+++++++
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Re: Engagement Gifts
We got a combination of gifts and $$ for our e-party and I don't think there was anything wrong with it. We're in a situation where we live together and already have a lot of the basics, we're paying for our own wedding, etc. I think $$ or gift cards are a good idea when you don't know what else do get the person. I also don't know of any couple who would be unhappy to receive it! JMHO.
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Posted 1/4/06 5:37 PM
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