NWR - Vent - Very Long

Where to start????????? Okay, most of you know I play pool two nights a week. I joined the first team because one of the guys in my office asked me to. He was interested in me, but I didn't share those feelings. (there is a ton more to this, but I won't bore you with details).

He started acting like a TOTAL horse's arse in late June/early July. FH gave me e-ring in late July. This guy has continued to act like a total horse's arse at pool, and it spills over to the job. Basically, he shows up to play when he feels like it, leaves when he is supposed to be coaching less skilled players on the team, drinks way too much, and has all around stopped being a "team" player.

Fast forward to tonight. He loses again, (I can't honestly remember if he has won more than one single pool match on either team since July). Captain of the team is at work, so it's this guy's responsiblity to coach etc. One of our new teammates is playing, and he's on the phone with his girlfriend (who he just got back together with), instead of watching her so he can coach. She gets into a jam, so I try to get him off the phone. He finally hangs up (the other team was getting really pissed, since there is a time limit for coaching), and does what he is supposed to do. An official time out is the only time a coach can talk to a player. So, the other team takes a time out, and instead of him talking to the teammate that is playing, he is talking to someone else. So I said something to him. He snapped back that if I didn't like what he was doing maybe I should coach. I calmly replied I didn't want to coach, and he is much better at it than I am anyway. Two minutes later he goes back to the guy he was talking to and says "I guess I can talk to you now". I start seeing red, grab my coat, kiss FH good-bye and leave. I called FH when I got home to let him know I made it ok, with the hail storm going on. When I did, he told me this guy thought I was disrespectful , and FH told him he wasn't getting involved. This was at 10 PM, I just finally calmed all the way down.

I am going to have to deal with him tomorrow at work. Do I tell him off? As in, Bill, you have been acting like a total arse since July. You don't care about the team, you don't care about your job, you don't care about your friends. You made a commitment to the team which you have not been keeping up with since then, and then you have the nerve to get pissed at me because I reminded you of what your responsibility is to this team?? I'm the one who got up from the GTG last week because he hadn't shown up, and there weren't enough players!! I'm the one that hasn't missed a single Tuesday night in two years!!

Or do I just act like nothing happened?

FH agrees with me - as in, this guy's been acting like a jerk for months and has no right to get pissy with me.

I should add, the captain of the team is FH's best man, and has a big thing about loyalty and friendship and if I call Bill out, I might get kicked off the team, and he might tell FH he won't be his best man. FH said that was okay with him. But I need opinions from people that aren't closely involved with the situation.

If you made it this far - thanks!! Any advice would be welcome.

Re: NWR - Vent - Very Long

I would approach him and as tactfully as possible ask him what's up. I would let him know that people on the team are upset that he is not pulling his weight. I would tell him that he really needs to take the stick out of his azz and start acting like a normal human being.

Tell him if he wants to act like a jerk, to do it on his own time, but not on the company's time and on on the team's time.

I don't think the captain of the team would not be FH's best man if you called this guy out. Chances are if you noticed what a jerk he is being, and FH noticed it too, then the captain surely has to be blind not to notice it also, but probably has not said anything because he doesn't want to make waves.

I would call him out on it. It would drive me crazy too much not to.

Message edited 12/16/2005 12:42:56 AM.

Re: NWR - Vent - Very Long

I agree that you shouldn't tell him off but confront him. Don't say what others are saying (dangerous territory!) You don't want to drag them into this- if they want to say somthing to him, that's their business.

If the captain won't be your FH Best man after that then I wouldn't think that is someone you'd want to be FH best man anyway.

Good luck!