| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: [1] 2 |
LisaJill
Board Fanatic
Member since 9/05 776 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/30/2006 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked
|
I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
Ok, I need to vent (yet again). Every year, thanksgiving is the biggest fight we have. My family has done thanksgiving every year and it is the only time that most of my family comes together. This year there will be 20 people from my family, including both my grandparents that aren't in the best health and it is my grandma's 82nd birthday. Every year his mom has thanksgiving. The people there are his two siblings, their spouses and his grandparents. Bear in mind, they all live within a 10 mile radius and we are ALWAYS with them.. we just saw them last week and we will be spending all of x-mas with his family (i am jewish). I am soo mad that he can't give in and be a man and do something for his bride. This is important to me. This year would be soo nice, my cousins will be there and I haven't seen them in two years, and everyone will be so happy for me because I am getting married, and my sister is pregnant. It is just such a happy occasion and I don't want to go to his family... always the same people and the food stinks (LOL). He wants us to split dinner and desert. I want to sing happy birthday to my grandma.. and we are gonna see his WHOLE family Dec 24, 25 and 26!!! (aside from last weekend, next weekend, etc. etc.) I am just livid that he isn't willing to sacrifice it for me. I am so mad. Now we aren't speaking, we were supposed to have plans for today and he just walked out. I don't understand why we should spend thanksgiving with the same 8 people (and it is DEPRESSING), instead of at an entire family reunion. I can't believe he won't give in for me. I am so hurt.
|
Posted 11/13/05 12:39 PM 
|
| |
|
kam0813
FH <3's my punk sensibilities
Member since 7/05 4867 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/30/2010 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor<3<3<3
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
that's terrible!  men they just don't get it sometimes..i think he should be more flexible..especially since you see his family a lot and are spending x-mas with them! x-mas is definitely a bigger holiday than thanksgiving..what you are asking for is small. if i was in your shoes and after everything he still doesn't want to go..i'd go without him! your family is going to be his family, you'd think he'd want to get to know all of them better and be there!
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 12:43 PM
|
| |
|
Goldi1021
Growing a miracle in my belly!
Member since 1/05 12772 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/18/2006 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Temple Avodah
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
We are actually splitting dinner and dessert. This will be our first Thanksgiving without Dad and FH understands how important it is since my mom is still quite vulnerable and sad (as are we all). Dinner will be with MY family and dessert with his. Next year we will alternate. There has to be compromise when there are two families involved. Since FH's family is celebrating not that far away, it wasn't hard for us. I do agree that since you will be wih them on X-mas and that may have more meaning to them, he should bend a little for you.
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 12:51 PM
|
| |
|
October Bliss
Beyond Obsession
Member since 8/05 7629 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/8/2006 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Country Gardens @ East Wind
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
Given that you are spending x-mas with is family, and your family is having a huge reunion for Thanksgiving, he should give in. If he doesn't, I would go without him and enjoy the time with your cousins that you haven't seen in two years, singing Happy Birthday to your grandmother, your sister's pregancy etc.
Hang in there!!
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 12:54 PM
|
| |
|
LisaJill
Board Fanatic
Member since 9/05 776 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/30/2006 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
Posted by Goldi1021
We are actually splitting dinner and dessert. This will be our first Thanksgiving without Dad and FH understands how important it is since my mom is still quite vulnerable and sad (as are we all). Dinner will be with MY family and dessert with his. Next year we will alternate. There has to be compromise when there are two families involved. Since FH's family is celebrating not that far away, it wasn't hard for us. I do agree that since you will be wih them on X-mas and that may have more meaning to them, he should bend a little for you.
That is the thing! We aren't in similar situations. My family is having a HUGE dinner this year and my cousins (whose parents are divorced) will finally be with us. I haven't seen them in years! We see everybody that is going to be at his mom's ALL the time! we will see them less than a month later. I have no idea when the next time i will see my entire family is. My grandparents live in Brooklyn, they don't drive, they hate commuting (even when we drive them), they get very tired from the commute and they are getting increasingly difficult. PLUS it is my grandma's birthday and I wanna sing to her. My grandparents have been amazing to us. My grandpa at 82 still works, as a window washer even after he had heart surgery and all they want is to be able to give us money to help us buy a house one day. They are soo wonderful and it is so hard for me to see them with my work schedule. I don't want to sacrifice a moment of time I have with them. He should feel the same way, they are so warm to him. This is so upsetting, and now he and I arent speaking... and usually once that happens we go DAYS without speaking. And now, I am all alone at home today and I don't know what to do with myself 
Message edited 11/13/2005 12:58:45 PM.
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 12:58 PM
|
| |
|
Goldi1021
Growing a miracle in my belly!
Member since 1/05 12772 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/18/2006 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Temple Avodah
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
Well in that case, he should really understand. I am sorry you have to deal with this. You still have a little time to work it out. I hope you are able to resolve it.
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 12:59 PM
|
| |
|
October Bliss
Beyond Obsession
Member since 8/05 7629 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/8/2006 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Country Gardens @ East Wind
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
Posted by LisaJill
And now, I am all alone at home today and I don't know what to do with myself
Come to the GTG!!! A bunch of us are meeting today at Jillian's in Westbury at 5 PM.
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 1:07 PM
|
| |
|
Sapphire77
Board Fanatic
Member since 8/05 553 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/25/2008 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
Posted by SexyEsq
Given that you are spending x-mas with is family, and your family is having a huge reunion for Thanksgiving, he should give in. If he doesn't, I would go without him and enjoy the time with your cousins that you haven't seen in two years, singing Happy Birthday to your grandmother, your sister's pregancy etc.
Hang in there!!
I totally agree. If he doesn't want to give in go without him. Especially to sing happy birtday to your grandma and to see both grandparents.
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 1:09 PM
|
| |
|
LisaJill
Board Fanatic
Member since 9/05 776 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/30/2006 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
what is gtg??
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 1:23 PM
|
| |
|
Happybride2005
SPRING IS ALMOST HERE
Member since 5/04 15862 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Ariana Waterfall A+++++++++
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
Posted by LisaJill
what is gtg??
get to gether
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 1:28 PM
|
| |
|
Happybride2005
SPRING IS ALMOST HERE
Member since 5/04 15862 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Ariana Waterfall A+++++++++
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
have u stressed to fh how important this is to u. maybe u guys could compromise...if u go to your family this yr, u could go to his family next yr
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 1:29 PM
|
| |
|
JazzyT
Party Like a Rock Star!!
Member since 11/05 7204 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/27/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
El Caribe
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
Being that you are spending Christmas with his family, he should spend Thanksgiving with yours, since its just his family that you guys are always with. He should give in.
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 1:31 PM
|
| |
|
LisaJill
Board Fanatic
Member since 9/05 776 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/30/2006 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
Posted by Happybride2005
have u stressed to fh how important this is to u. maybe u guys could compromise...if u go to your family this yr, u could go to his family next yr
I don't want to make that commitment because I really don't know what next year will bring. I don't see my grandparents often and if they are willing to come out from Brooklyn, then I want to be with them. I really can't give that up. I would feel terrible if I ever missed a "last" family event with them. He has to understand that, we see his grandparents soo much and I even told him we could go to them the next day. So he just called and told me that he is happier when I am not with him. isn't that horrible?? Oh, btw: he is a BIG momma's boy (which I think is def. part of the problem).
I am gonna get in my pjs and order tons of cable movies and make him pay for them! i am now depressed... I JUST BOUGHT MY WEDDING DRESS YESTERDAY
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 1:45 PM
|
| |
|
Happybride2005
SPRING IS ALMOST HERE
Member since 5/04 15862 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Ariana Waterfall A+++++++++
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
is there a way u 2 could make a compromise
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 1:51 PM
|
| |
|
JPC1125
Friendship=the key to marriage
Member since 6/04 5053 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/25/2005 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Crest Hollow
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
so why dont you guys split up this year?
If its truly that important for you to be with yoru family- you have the option to choose them....truth be told you arent married yet and besides...who is he to make decisions for you!!!???
Stand up for what you want ---otherwis eyou entire marriage will be fights just like thisb
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 1:51 PM
|
| |
|
LisaJill
Board Fanatic
Member since 9/05 776 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/30/2006 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
Posted by JPC1125
so why dont you guys split up this year?
If its truly that important for you to be with yoru family- you have the option to choose them....truth be told you arent married yet and besides...who is he to make decisions for you!!!???
Stand up for what you want ---otherwis eyou entire marriage will be fights just like thisb
Thanks! Hope you have a fantastice wedding next weekend!!!!!! Congrats!
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 1:53 PM
|
| |
|
JPC1125
Friendship=the key to marriage
Member since 6/04 5053 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/25/2005 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Crest Hollow
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
Posted by LisaJill
Posted by JPC1125
so why dont you guys split up this year?
If its truly that important for you to be with yoru family- you have the option to choose them....truth be told you arent married yet and besides...who is he to make decisions for you!!!???
Stand up for what you want ---otherwis eyou entire marriage will be fights just like thisb
Thanks! Hope you have a fantastice wedding next weekend!!!!!! Congrats!
I hope I didnt sound too harsh...but if he isnt willing to compromise, I hate to say it but with the comment he made about being happier w/o you, you maybe should spend some time apart and think things through. I wish you all the best and thank you for your warm wishes. I hope I will be able to return them for you next year!!
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 1:56 PM
|
| |
|
LisaJill
Board Fanatic
Member since 9/05 776 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/30/2006 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
I hope I didnt sound too harsh...but if he isnt willing to compromise, I hate to say it but with the comment he made about being happier w/o you, you maybe should spend some time apart and think things through. I wish you all the best and thank you for your warm wishes. I hope I will be able to return them for you next year!!
You aren't being harsh. I appreciate your advise and I agree, I will just go by myself. I just hate that my family might have things to say about it. Truth be told, I think I will always be second to his family. We have this fight every year. Oh well, hopefully I will be there next or else what will i do with my pretty new dress 
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 1:59 PM
|
| |
|
gNi1125
Caught my lobster!
Member since 1/05 6243 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/4/2006 1:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Russo's on The Bay
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
I'm really sorry that he doesn't see why this is so important to you. We usually have this problem too but we manage to go to both houses b/c his family eats earlier than ours. So we just eat twice and make everyone happy. From what I understand about your situation...I really think he should give in. If he doesn't then go alone. I hate to be a pessimistic but God forbid something happens to your grandparents (since they are older) and you don't see them...you'll never forgive yourself and you'll hold him responsible to some degree.
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 2:04 PM
|
| |
|
RomeBride
Board Fanatic
Member since 7/05 250 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/1/2006 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Italy and Florida
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
You have FM (forum mail)!!!
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 2:21 PM
|
| |
|
babybug631
Little peanut due in November!
Member since 1/05 2038 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/17/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
West Sayville Country Club
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
We have always spent the holidays with our own family's just to keep it easy, When we are married it will be a different story. We are going to alternate holidays, which works out well
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 3:04 PM
|
| |
|
glinda_goodwitch
I married my best friend...
Member since 3/05 8735 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/17/2006 5:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
I'm so sorry Your FH should really know how important this is to you and should give in and spend Thanksgiving with your family. But if he's not willing, that I would go without him. He shouldn't have his way every time. Let him know how much this is hurting you.
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 9:08 PM
|
| |
|
Danacm80
I'm in The Knot mag!
Member since 7/05 1097 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/29/2007 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
The Carltun
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
I totally know what you mean!! I see FH family ALLLL the time.. he has a ton of cousins and they celebrate EVERY single birthday! So there is constantly a birthday party to go to with his fam. So I told him now that the holidays are around, I am keeping my traditions and going with my family & he can just go with his. I don't get to see my family nearly as much as we see his so i don't feel like I should have to go there just because it is a holiday. Once we're married, we may have to make sacrifices w/ each other's family.. but since we're just engaged now, we're keeping our own traditions. Good luck with your situation... I would leave it that you will just be with your family and if he wants to come then he can, if not, oh well.
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 9:20 PM
|
| |
|
beautyq115
Board Princess
Member since 12/04 16774 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/16/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Swan Club...AMAZING
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
We have split every holiday since we first started going out.
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 9:28 PM
|
| |
|
PegaLega
Future Mrs. WAHLBERG!
Member since 6/05 29471 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/25/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Chateau Briand
|
Re: I am soooo mad at FH!!! Thanksgiving family issues
I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!!
I have spent every holiday for the past 4 years with FHs family...and they get upset when we want to do something different! Like nervous breakdown upset
I would split up-you go with your family and he can go with his, especially if this is a rare occasion for your family to all be together-either he will realize that it is important to you or he will choose not to go
|
|
Posted 11/13/05 9:49 PM
|
| |
|
| Pages: [1] 2 |
