Problem w/ Friend bringing a Guest!!! w/ Update!

I have a friend who is just beginning to "see" someone. She responded to my wedding with the following ___ "1+?"___.

She wasn't sure if she was going to bring him at the time when she sent her response. Since beginning to "date / see / hook up" with him, she has said that he is really flaky (he breaks plans at the last minute and forgets about their dates).

Now today she tells me she wants to ask him to my wedding - which is in 2 and 1/2 weeks!

I want to tell her no, that it's too late, but I don't know how! HELP!!!!! Any advice???

We aren't THAT close... she is the sister of my cousin's boyfriend and we have all hung out a bunch of times so I invited her to my wedding.

UPDATE: I just had coffee with her and she is actually MAD at me for not notifying her that I was giving my final count. She said she thought she had "time" and that she thought I was going to "confirm with her" and that was why she responded with the "1+?". She was kind of b*tchy about it and I hate confrontation like that face to face

Why are people so RUDE!

Message edited 11/7/2005 11:47:06 PM.

Re: Problem w/ Friend bringing a Guest!!!

Tell her you paid already. Good Luck.

Re: Problem w/ Friend bringing a Guest!!!

I agree. Tell her the deposits and everything is already set. Just say that you are really really sorry, but if she just asked a little sooner...yada, yada, yada. IMO, it's kind of rude for her to be asking this 2 1/2 weeks before the wedding. Good Luck.

Re: Problem w/ Friend bringing a Guest!!!

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Posted by drtrish03

I agree. Tell her the deposits and everything is already set. Just say that you are really really sorry, but if she just asked a little sooner...yada, yada, yada. IMO, it's kind of rude for her to be asking this 2 1/2 weeks before the wedding. Good Luck.

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Re: Problem w/ Friend bringing a Guest!!!

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Posted by drtrish03

I agree. Tell her the deposits and everything is already set. Just say that you are really really sorry, but if she just asked a little sooner...yada, yada, yada. IMO, it's kind of rude for her to be asking this 2 1/2 weeks before the wedding. Good Luck.

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Re: Problem w/ Friend bringing a Guest!!!

Just say that the final head count is in... sorry! This is your day... you do wnatever it is you want!! THATS THE BEAUTY OF YOUR WEDDING!

Re: Problem w/ Friend bringing a Guest!!!

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Posted by drtrish03

I agree. Tell her the deposits and everything is already set. Just say that you are really really sorry, but if she just asked a little sooner...yada, yada, yada. IMO, it's kind of rude for her to be asking this 2 1/2 weeks before the wedding. Good Luck.

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Re: Problem w/ Friend bringing a Guest!!!

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Posted by gNi1125

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Posted by drtrish03

I agree. Tell her the deposits and everything is already set. Just say that you are really really sorry, but if she just asked a little sooner...yada, yada, yada. IMO, it's kind of rude for her to be asking this 2 1/2 weeks before the wedding. Good Luck.

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I agree...tell her the final head count is in already.

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Re: Problem w/ Friend bringing a Guest!!!

you dont reply with 1+? i would take that ? as a no.. tell her the same! personally that is kinda rude to do when replying... she shouldnt expect you to be ok with inviting him especially since you are not all that close to her and she is just seeing him... JMO, i dont want people at my wedding i dont know much less people they are barly dating... i would tell her you turned in the numbers already and paid, if someone else lets me know they can not make it will let you know he can come, even if you have a no show she doesnt have to know that...

Good luck!

Re: Problem w/ Friend bringing a Guest!!!

OK, I am all for giving your friends the opportunity to bring dates. BUT..........

For a few of my single friends I DID THEM A FAVOR and told them that they could go one week after the response date to let me know. THAT IS IT!

Tell your friend that the hall was already notified, you can't add people, the tables were done and sorry, but maybe you can get together with your friend and the flake sometime after the wedding.

Who writes that on a response card????

Re: Problem w/ Friend bringing a Guest!!!

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Posted by drtrish03

I agree. Tell her the deposits and everything is already set. Just say that you are really really sorry, but if she just asked a little sooner...yada, yada, yada. IMO, it's kind of rude for her to be asking this 2 1/2 weeks before the wedding. Good Luck.

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Re: Problem w/ Friend bringing a Guest!!! w/ Update!

bumping b/c I updated by first post!!!

Re: Problem w/ Friend bringing a Guest!!! w/ Update!

sorry.. i have to laugh at the outcome! she is MAD you didn't tell HER you were giving your final count!!! yeah cause your whole wedding revolves around whether or not she brings a date!!! Does she not think you have other things on your mind that are much more important! You gave her a response date with her invitation that was her deadline!!!

If that is the kind of expectations she expects from people than she is going to have a life full of disappointments!

Sorry you had to deal with such a confrontation! Forget it and enjoy YOUR wedding!!!

(edit for spelling)

Message edited 11/7/2005 11:57:49 PM.

Re: Problem w/ Friend bringing a Guest!!! w/ Update!

Some people just don't think...and trust me I've seen a lot of that especially when it comes to weddings!!!

She had her chance with the response card to decide whether or not to bring him. There's a reason there is a reply date!! Because we have to give final counts!!!

Sorry you had to deal with the confrontation. I would be tempted to tell her if she is that upset about it, she doesn't have to come either.

You should have the people who mean something to you on your wedding day and in your pictures. Not some guy who will be a memory to you and her a few months from now!!!

Re: Problem w/ Friend bringing a Guest!!! w/ Update!

THanks for the posts - you guys are making me feel much better!

Re: Problem w/ Friend bringing a Guest!!! w/ Update!

I think it is commical that she expects you to remember that she responded that way... i am 2 months out and i am a mess of forgetfullness besides that fact that i have a stack of 100 responses.... but you are supposed to remember one??

Re: Problem w/ Friend bringing a Guest!!! w/ Update!

Um, that's what the response card is for. What is wrong with her? I would tell her it's too late and that you already gave your final headcount. F-her. Who is she to act like that. Like you don't have enough to think about.

Re: Problem w/ Friend bringing a Guest!!! w/ Update!

i can't believe that she's mad at u for not asking her if she was bringing someone. what, r u suppose to double check with each person if they'll be bringing someone. i hope it works out for the best

Re: Problem w/ Friend bringing a Guest!!! w/ Update!

wow...she has some pair of cajones to think that you had to confirm with her the final head count.

not for nothing...but a friend like that...who needs her at your wedding? she obviously is a bit of a drama queen and thinks it's alll about her.

i say stick to your guns and let her know the final count is in, and you don't have to confirm ANYTHING with her because it's not HER day