I'm mad at my FI

So its been a week and 3 days and tonight my FI has made me mad!

PLEASE NO OFFENSE TO GROOMS WHO ARE DOING THIS BUT...

We were talking tonight and he mentioned how he wanted light blue tuxedos - I kinda laughed it off - and then he told me that he was serious bc thats what his dad had at his wedding! We got into such a huge fight because he knows how strongly I have been wishing for a traditional wedding (which would include black tuxedos). Plus, I come from such an old school Italian family.. it just would be horrible.

Plus... we kid around with each other ALOT... but sometimes he will jokingly say - "yeah well then give me back the ring." He is totally kidding - I know for sure... but it still bothers me... and I told him that tonight and he got offended.

We just had a bad night. SORRY SO LONG. I needed to vent.

AGAIN I HOPE I DIDN'T OFFEND ANYONE!

Re: I'm mad at my FI

Maybe you can work something out like use dark blue tuxes. He can keep his dads tradition and yours as well. just an idea.

Re: I'm mad at my FI

I also have to say sorry to any groom who is wearing light blue. . . . but I TOTALLY agree with you! Light blue is he serious?!? It's nice that he wants to do what his dad did, but I'm pretty sure his dad also got married in the 70's. I think that light blue is so out of style, it was even in the 70's. Do tux places even make that color any more ??? Hope I'm not offending anyone here, it's only my opinion. Black and navy blue are way more classy, or even a white dinner jacket, but definatly NO light blue.

As for the giving back the ring thing. It's ok to joke around about things, but when one party has even slight uneasy feelings about the way some kidding around is going, it's important to to let them know it bothers you. Maybe he didn't realize it bothers you as much as it does, he probably felt really bad and got defenseive. I'm sure that he dosen't really mean it. Feel better about all this.

Re: I'm mad at my FI

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Posted by tiffandmatt

I also have to say sorry to any groom who is wearing light blue. . . . but I TOTALLY agree with you! Light blue is he serious?!? It's nice that he wants to do what his dad did, but I'm pretty sure his dad also got married in the 70's. I think that light blue is so out of style, it was even in the 70's. Do tux places even make that color any more ??? Hope I'm not offending anyone here, it's only my opinion. Black and navy blue are way more classy, or even a white dinner jacket, but definatly NO light blue.

As for the giving back the ring thing. It's ok to joke around about things, but when one party has even slight uneasy feelings about the way some kidding around is going, it's important to to let them know it bothers you. Maybe he didn't realize it bothers you as much as it does, he probably felt really bad and got defenseive. I'm sure that he dosen't really mean it. Feel better about all this.

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Re: I'm mad at my FI

here is an idea, maybe black with blue vest?

Re: I'm mad at my FI

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Posted by EmberLynn

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Posted by tiffandmatt

I also have to say sorry to any groom who is wearing light blue. . . . but I TOTALLY agree with you! Light blue is he serious?!? It's nice that he wants to do what his dad did, but I'm pretty sure his dad also got married in the 70's. I think that light blue is so out of style, it was even in the 70's. Do tux places even make that color any more ??? Hope I'm not offending anyone here, it's only my opinion. Black and navy blue are way more classy, or even a white dinner jacket, but definatly NO light blue.

As for the giving back the ring thing. It's ok to joke around about things, but when one party has even slight uneasy feelings about the way some kidding around is going, it's important to to let them know it bothers you. Maybe he didn't realize it bothers you as much as it does, he probably felt really bad and got defenseive. I'm sure that he dosen't really mean it. Feel better about all this.

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It could be worse, his dad could have worn lavender! I've seen them in old wedding photos! they look horrible!

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Re: I'm mad at my FI

I'm sorry you guys had a fight. But if you want to ensure no blue tuxedo, fight back, girl! We have an ugly dress thread on here. Show him some pics and threaten to wear one of those dresses if he wears a blue tux. Your dress is probably more important to him than the tux he wears. He'll back down...

Re: I'm mad at my FI

Honestly- you are going to change your mind a million times during wedding planning- its natural and it happens. and Since the Tuxs dont need to be ordered until just a few months before the wedding, your FH will most likely have changed his mind by then too. I can understand his theory, and i think its sweet that he wants to have that bond/tradition with his father, BUT as it gets closer, and he can realistically picture himself sportin' a powder blue ensemble in front of over 100+ people- he may reconsider

Message edited 11/6/2005 2:10:08 AM.

Re: I'm mad at my FI

Maybe you can compromise by letting him have light blue accessories (vest, tie, etc). I mean, has he thought about the pictures? Is that the look he's going to want to see in 30 yrs? I don't blame you for being upset.

Re: I'm mad at my FI

I'm sorry. Maybe you guys can come up with a compromise.

When Fh and I fight over the wedding he always says this isn't my wedding it is ours. Then I always rethink and we come to an agreement.

Try to stay calm and work it out. Good Luck..

Re: I'm mad at my FI

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Posted by EmberLynn

here is an idea, maybe black with blue vest?

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Re: I'm mad at my FI

Just inform your FH that light blue was ok in the 70's and is not aceptable anymore. It would look like he was making a joke of the entire day.

Re: I'm mad at my FI

i mean this is his day too. is he telling you what dress to where? i mean no offence but if he is really wanting it- i dont know. but dont listen to me i think differently then most bride to be's about their weddings. good luck and i hope he comes through for you if you are really so upset about it.

Re: I'm mad at my FI

maybe a compromise can be met.

Re: I'm mad at my FI

My FH's favorite color is blue. To incorporate that he asked if I would put BM in blue. I told him no, I'm putting them in my favorite color (which also happens to be one they all like alot, lucky me ). But to make sure his favorite color got airtime the sand we bought to represent him during the sand ceremony is bright blue.

I think you need to find a way for him to honor his father and not look like a throw back to the 70's. Perhaps you can put the BM in blue and then use blue tie etc for the guys.

Re: I'm mad at my FI

Can you even get a light blue tux anymore?

Re: I'm mad at my FI

(Warning: if anyone's fh is going to be wearing a blue tux, do not read on because you will probabley be offended. )
i don't blame you one bit for being annoyed about him wanting to wear a blue tux. who does that???? didn't ralph maccio wear one to some dance in the karate kid movie? joke around and call him the karate kid to get your point accross because that might have been the last time it was cool... and even that's stretching it...... i didn't realize stores even still carried light blue tuxes.

However, he does get credit for being cute and sentimental for wanting to wear the same color as his dad. Yet, there are plenty of other ways to carry on tradition than wearing the same color tux. what's you color theme? is there any way he could do a black tux with say a light blue tie and vest?
coming from an italian family myself, i know they would have a heart attack and my fh would never be able to live it down if he wore a blue tux, not that his own family would let him down the aisle in that either.
you should print out everyone's comments on this site and show it to him so he knows that you're not the only one who thinks a light blue tux is awful. good luck!!!!! (let us know how it turns out!)

as for the ring bit, i understand how you're feelings would be hurt when he says that, but i'm sure it's just in jest and that just shows how secure he is in the relationship. i mean, if things really weren't that great, asking for the ring back wouldn't be something you could joke around about. However, sometimes guys have a tendency to take jokes overboard and it's up to us to let them know. It's good you spoke up about it.

Message edited 11/6/2005 6:50:06 PM.

Re: I'm mad at my FI

I'd be mad too.

This is the way I put it to my FI- if he wants to go and do that kind of stuff- go ahead- do it at the bachelor party. That's his night to let his hair down with the guys and act like whatever he wants and I have no say.

but the wedding- well, I'm the one busting my touchas to plan and run around and meet with vendors, and anytime he wants to look at fifteen different florists. . . then he gets more of a say. . . he agrees. . . if he wore a powder blue tux I'd kill him.

Re: I'm mad at my FI

It's funny - men come up with the most random things to fight about for the wedding....

I would give it some time... I am sure he will have a change of heart by the wedding. You can even tell him that they don't make tuxes in that color and it would need to be custom made and therefore very $$$$. I am sure he will back down really quick!

Re: I'm mad at my FI

hey-I tell FH is he doesnt look at wedding things with me and help me decide he is going to wear a baby blue tux with a ruffled shirt!!!!!!!!
And its a threat!!!
Maybe you can do something else-blue flowers-some way to incorporate the color-but dont let him wear it-he will regret it

Re: I'm mad at my FI

I agree that you can try to compromise with light blue vests or something...you can also talk to him calmly and explain that while you think it's sweet that he wants to have the same tuxes as his father (b/c it really is very cute) it's so out of date it will look ridiculous and your guests will be very distracted by the whole thing- taking away some of the day's special meaning.

Honesly tho- go to the tux shop and talk about it with them...I bet once he sees the look on the tux guy's faces and when they ask him why he would ever want to do that (while I'm sure they'll be polite and professionsal- they should be good guides and steer you away from them!) he'll drop the whole idea.

Vendor advice has helped shape my plans for the better and both FH and I have taken turns discovering that our ideas were not practical or problematic. Good vendors can help guide you!! Good luck!!

As for the ring joke, FH and I are very laid back with jokes like that too. I have actually taken my ring off or made twisting motions as if I was taking it off and we both laugh- with the exception of one time. As long as you both know those jokes aren't masking real resentment it's cool.

Message edited 11/7/2005 6:59:54 PM.

Re: I'm mad at my FI

I'm sorry you're having to deal w/ this. I can commiserate because my FH is a little bit quarky as well. While he hasn't asked to wear blue tuxes he has asked for some oddball stuff. But that's him....and that's who I am marrying. The wedding should be a representation of the 2 of us, not just me and my martha stewart weddings ideas. LOL. Anyway, maybe you can suggest a photo table where you have wedding pictures of both sets of parents and even grandparents. This way everyone can get to see his dad in his powder blue glory. Also, I like the ideas the other ladies have given about incorporating blue in other aspects of the wedding -- flowers, dresses, ties, etc. Good luck...I'm sure it will work out.

Re: I'm mad at my FI

Light blue tuxes? Hmmmm. Ok, what about threatening to wear a 80´s style wedding dress....in neon orange?

Re: I'm mad at my FI

Honestly, I'd be more p'oed about the ring joke than the tuxes. I'd never let DH hold that over my head! If he were me,next time,I'd take it off and gently place it in his hand,no anger..and say"you're right hun,you can have this ring back...I really don't need any outward symbols of our commitment,I love you the same,with or without a piece of jewelry" I know that would devistate my DH,he's probably never joke about it again. I don't know your FI or how he would react,make sure if you're gonna say something like that,you can back it up. I love my ring and it cost my husband a lot of $$$,none of which was my idea,to my surprise..he wanted to spend X amount,but I'll be damned if he'd remind me every once in a while.
Besides,theres no ring that can make us even-steven for the amount of pain during childbirth I'll be enduring...hopefully soon..babydust to me

BTW,let him tell a couple of his GM that he's thinking of babyblue...they (not you) will squash that notion!

Re: I'm mad at my FI

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Posted by dianadrw

I'm sorry you're having to deal w/ this. I can commiserate because my FH is a little bit quarky as well. While he hasn't asked to wear blue tuxes he has asked for some oddball stuff. But that's him....and that's who I am marrying. The wedding should be a representation of the 2 of us, not just me and my martha stewart weddings ideas. LOL. Anyway, maybe you can suggest a photo table where you have wedding pictures of both sets of parents and even grandparents. This way everyone can get to see his dad in his powder blue glory. Also, I like the ideas the other ladies have given about incorporating blue in other aspects of the wedding -- flowers, dresses, ties, etc. Good luck...I'm sure it will work out.

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