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babybug631
Little peanut due in November!
Member since 1/05 2038 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/17/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
West Sayville Country Club
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Re: What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
I wouldn't let that biatch bring a date. you clearly invited just her. the balls on this girl to invite herself a guest. i would tell her that you really wanted all the people from work to be there, but you can't afford guests for everybody. then leave it up to her. you don't really want her there anyway, so what do you care.
by the way, i have a lot of single cousins and my brothers friends who are also single. they're all 18-22 years old. i'm not inviting them with guests. only the ones with serious long-term girlfriends are getting invited with a guest, and i'm putting the girlfirends name on the invites.
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Posted 10/28/05 12:46 PM 
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leighdvm
Homeowners!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 10/04 3346 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/25/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
The GORGEOUS Villa Lombardi's
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Re: What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
I would NOT let it slide. All the people from work weren't invited with a guest, so I would absolutey 100% tell her "SORRY!!"
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Posted 10/28/05 12:47 PM
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October Bliss
Beyond Obsession
Member since 8/05 7629 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/8/2006 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Country Gardens @ East Wind
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Re: What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
Since she has walked all over you in the past, I think NOW is the time to put your foot down. It is your wedding, your day, and you didn't invite people you actual like so as not to exclude ONE person from your job. Tell her flat out she cannot bring a guest <period> <end of dicsussion> no need for explanation. However, be prepared for her to show up with one anyway, and have your DOC (if you have one, brother, father, best man, other random large guy) be prepared to turn her away. If you don't have someone ready to toss her out on her ear she will have just walked all over you again.
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Posted 10/28/05 1:53 PM
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Goldi1021
Growing a miracle in my belly!
Member since 1/05 12772 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/18/2006 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Temple Avodah
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Re: What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
I know someone who was invited to a function with her live in boyfriend specifically and wanted to bring her 11 year old son instead. It was completely innappropriate and uncomfortable for the host and nervy to have even asked!
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Posted 10/28/05 2:01 PM
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prinses777
Married Woman!!!!
Member since 7/05 3432 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/7/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
deSeversky Mansion- A++
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Re: What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
If it was someone else (not from work), I would most likely suck it up...
But... Then it puts you in an awkward position for all the other singles at work who might have wanted to bring a date... I would say something.
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Posted 10/28/05 2:09 PM
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LM903
Board Fanatic
Member since 2/05 662 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/3/2005 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked
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Re: What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
you girls are awesome, thanks so much for the advice. I wish I could have you all standing behind me cheering me on when I say something!!!!!
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Posted 10/28/05 2:16 PM
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waterspout4
I gave birth to a todddler
Member since 9/04 4781 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/1/2006 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Mediterranean Manor A++++++++++
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Re: What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
Posted by SexyEsq
Tell her flat out she cannot bring a guest <period> <end of dicsussion> no need for explanation. However, be prepared for her to show up with one anyway, and have your DOC (if you have one, brother, father, best man, other random large guy) be prepared to turn her away.
Other random large guy
I totally agree with what you said.
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Posted 10/28/05 2:20 PM
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tracy2246
Invites out
Member since 3/05 1598 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/3/2006 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
Posted by LM903
you girls are awesome, thanks so much for the advice. I wish I could have you all standing behind me cheering me on when I say something!!!!!
when you are talking to her just visualize us all standing behind you with our pom poms 
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Posted 10/28/05 2:23 PM
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FINALLYME
Board Enthusiast
Member since 8/05 207 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/1/2006 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
BOOKED
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Re: What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
Since i'm getting married till next october and havn't even looked at invites yet, I was thinking what would I do... how about calling her and saying right now I can't entertain extra or unvited guests.... BUT if I get some cancellations down the road I will call you and then you can bring your guest....
How friendly are you with her? If she gets pissed off and doesn't come to your wedding will it bother you a great deal?
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Posted 10/28/05 2:24 PM
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LM903
Board Fanatic
Member since 2/05 662 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/3/2005 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked
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Re: What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
Posted by FINALLYME
Since i'm getting married till next october and havn't even looked at invites yet, I was thinking what would I do... how about calling her and saying right now I can't entertain extra or unvited guests.... BUT if I get some cancellations down the road I will call you and then you can bring your guest....
How friendly are you with her? If she gets pissed off and doesn't come to your wedding will it bother you a great deal?
I can't stand the girl and just invited her to be nice since I invited all the women I work with. that is probably along the lines of what I'll do - although it erks me that someone has the audicity to do something like this.
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Posted 10/28/05 2:32 PM
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FINALLYME
Board Enthusiast
Member since 8/05 207 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/1/2006 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
BOOKED
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Re: What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
Then I wouldn't even give it a 2nd thought, if you can't stand her and just invited her because you work with her, just tell her she can't bring anyone and if she's pissed, that's her problem, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING by inviting her. She did THE WRONG THING by ASSUMING she could bring a guest...
There are so many things you should be doing when planning your wedding and wasting time on stupid inconsiderate people is not one of them... Don't waste anymore of your precious time on her. ESPECIALLY since she's not even a good friend. A good friend would never have the nerve to do something like that.
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Posted 10/28/05 2:41 PM
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LM903
Board Fanatic
Member since 2/05 662 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/3/2005 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked
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Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
BUMP FOR THE UPDATE
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Posted 10/29/05 11:37 AM
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littlebookworm4
Old and married
Member since 10/03 4789 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/18/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Thatched Cottage
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Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
I'm waiting on 19 RSVPs still and I"m just waiting for one of them to be like that!
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Posted 10/29/05 12:00 PM
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M&S Sept12006
2 Years Down...
Member since 3/05 5843 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/1/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor - A
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Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
Im sorry but thats what happens when you invite people from work and expect them to come SOLO...have you ever been to a wedding by yourself? Im not trying to be nasty or anything but just put yourself in the girl's position. If I got an invitation with just my name on it, I would have guessed that I can invite someone to come along with me...I wouldn't want to go by myself. And thats what the girl who is coming with her mother (very awkward but hey whatever floats her boat) was thinking... And if you feel that people are nasty or idiots then why would you want them at your wedding to begin with????
Please don't take this the wrong way, its JMHO...I hope all works out for you
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Posted 10/29/05 12:09 PM
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Goldi1021
Growing a miracle in my belly!
Member since 1/05 12772 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/18/2006 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Temple Avodah
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Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
Im glad you were strong enough to say something to those people. As someone who strays from confrontation, I applaud you. I would not second guess your choice for one minute. Here's my take!
If you invite more than one person from work and those people know each other rather well then there is no need to invite them each with guests. If you invited one person from work or perhaps people from different departments who did NOT know each other at all, then Id say YES let them bring guests as it WOULD be awkward for them. It is apparent that they DO know each other well enough to have some sort of discussion about it so they shouldnt have ANY problem talking to each other at your wedding without a guest.
People are very ballsy. I am in a work situation where I really cannot exclude people. A few people have told me right to my face that my family is wealthy (based on where I grew up) and thats why they can afford a huge wedding. Then they assume they will be invited wih guests. It couldnt be further from the truth. If a financial restraint prevents a couple from inviting people with guests then those guests need to respect that. So what if I am inviting 250 people to my wedding? Do my work friends have any idea how many cousins I have? How many of those cousins have spouses? How many cousins my parents have? How many siblings I have? No they dont. Im sorry, but Id much rather have my cousins than the flavor of the week so my work buddy has someone to dance with.
A wedding isnt a venue to showcase some person they met a week ago at a bar. This happens quite a bit. If I ever brought someone to a wedding (or other function) as my guest, you can be darn sure they played a very significant role in my life.
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Posted 10/29/05 12:32 PM
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littlebookworm4
Old and married
Member since 10/03 4789 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/18/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Thatched Cottage
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Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
I wouldn't just assume that I was invited with a guest unless it said it on there. If you're not sure then you should ask first.
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Posted 10/29/05 12:32 PM
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M&S Sept12006
2 Years Down...
Member since 3/05 5843 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/1/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor - A
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Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
Posted by littlebookworm4
I wouldn't just assume that I was invited with a guest unless it said it on there. If you're not sure then you should ask first.
Well Im sorry I would...
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Posted 10/29/05 12:37 PM
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LM903
Board Fanatic
Member since 2/05 662 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/3/2005 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked
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Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
Posted by Goldi1021
Im glad you were strong enough to say something to those people. As someone who strays from confrontation, I applaud you. I would not second guess your choice for one minute. Here's my take!
If you invite more than one person from work and those people know each other rather well then there is no need to invite them each with guests. If you invited one person from work or perhaps people from different departments who did NOT know each other at all, then Id say YES let them bring guests as it WOULD be awkward for them. It is apparent that they DO know each other well enough to have some sort of discussion about it so they shouldnt have ANY problem talking to each other at your wedding without a guest.
People are very ballsy. I am in a work situation where I really cannot exclude people. A few people have told me right to my face that my family is wealthy (based on where I grew up) and thats why they can afford a huge wedding. Then they assume they will be invited wih guests. It couldnt be further from the truth. If a financial restraint prevents a couple from inviting people with guests then those guests need to respect that. So what if I am inviting 250 people to my wedding? Do my work friends have any idea how many cousins I have? How many of those cousins have spouses? How many cousins my parents have? How many siblings I have? No they dont. Im sorry, but Id much rather have my cousins than the flavor of the week so my work buddy has someone to dance with.
A wedding isnt a venue to showcase some person they met a week ago at a bar. This happens quite a bit. If I ever brought someone to a wedding (or other function) as my guest, you can be darn sure they played a very significant role in my life.
Thank you for this, i agree completly. I work in an office of 6 women. 2 are married, and the other four are not dating people seriously, that I have met or know about. When I made the decision to invite the 2 married women with their husbands and everyone else solo, i thought that everyone would just come as a group, together. No problems. They all know eachother well and get along well. The reason I invited the "evil one" is because I could never exclude just one person from work. To me, it was invite ALL or NONE.
At this point, its not even the money or the seating issues or even the fact that some of my own FAMILY members were not invited b/c of money and seating constraints - its the fact that people are very wrong when they just assume that they can do whatever the hell they please. If I could rewind, I would have never invited anyone from work and would have just told them I was having a very small wedding. The reality is - its a small office - and I will probably be there for a little while after the wedding. I didn't want to make an uncomfortable situation for myself - and as it turns out, this is even more of an uncomfortable situation that I thought.
WIth regards to the comment about being "offended" if you weren't invited somewhere with your FH - that's different. You are engaged. If that was the case with any of the women from my work who I invited solo I would understand that and of course, would have invited them with their FH's.
Bottom line is - it's my wedding and my day. If people are offended by my decisions - well that's just too bad for them. In an effort to be nice and accomodate everyone, I ended up being screwed. I'll be damned if I let people like this walk all over me
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Posted 10/29/05 12:55 PM
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M&S Sept12006
2 Years Down...
Member since 3/05 5843 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/1/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor - A
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Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
Posted by LM903
Posted by Goldi1021
Im glad you were strong enough to say something to those people. As someone who strays from confrontation, I applaud you. I would not second guess your choice for one minute. Here's my take!
If you invite more than one person from work and those people know each other rather well then there is no need to invite them each with guests. If you invited one person from work or perhaps people from different departments who did NOT know each other at all, then Id say YES let them bring guests as it WOULD be awkward for them. It is apparent that they DO know each other well enough to have some sort of discussion about it so they shouldnt have ANY problem talking to each other at your wedding without a guest.
People are very ballsy. I am in a work situation where I really cannot exclude people. A few people have told me right to my face that my family is wealthy (based on where I grew up) and thats why they can afford a huge wedding. Then they assume they will be invited wih guests. It couldnt be further from the truth. If a financial restraint prevents a couple from inviting people with guests then those guests need to respect that. So what if I am inviting 250 people to my wedding? Do my work friends have any idea how many cousins I have? How many of those cousins have spouses? How many cousins my parents have? How many siblings I have? No they dont. Im sorry, but Id much rather have my cousins than the flavor of the week so my work buddy has someone to dance with.
A wedding isnt a venue to showcase some person they met a week ago at a bar. This happens quite a bit. If I ever brought someone to a wedding (or other function) as my guest, you can be darn sure they played a very significant role in my life.
Thank you for this, i agree completly. I work in an office of 6 women. 2 are married, and the other four are not dating people seriously, that I have met or know about. When I made the decision to invite the 2 married women with their husbands and everyone else solo, i thought that everyone would just come as a group, together. No problems. They all know eachother well and get along well. The reason I invited the "evil one" is because I could never exclude just one person from work. To me, it was invite ALL or NONE.
At this point, its not even the money or the seating issues or even the fact that some of my own FAMILY members were not invited b/c of money and seating constraints - its the fact that people are very wrong when they just assume that they can do whatever the hell they please. If I could rewind, I would have never invited anyone from work and would have just told them I was having a very small wedding. The reality is - its a small office - and I will probably be there for a little while after the wedding. I didn't want to make an uncomfortable situation for myself - and as it turns out, this is even more of an uncomfortable situation that I thought.
WIth regards to the comment about being "offended" if you weren't invited somewhere with your FH - that's different. You are engaged. If that was the case with any of the women from my work who I invited solo I would understand that and of course, would have invited them with their FH's.
Bottom line is - it's my wedding and my day. If people are offended by my decisions - well that's just too bad for them. In an effort to be nice and accomodate everyone, I ended up being screwed. I'll be damned if I let people like this walk all over me
You're absolutely right...it is YOUR day and it should be your way...and the fact is that nobody should walk all over you. I guess this is more of a personal issue that brides deal with when it comes down to inviting friends, family and co-workers. Im sure I will face a few myself. I just personally think it is difficult to begin with inviting people from work and inviting people solo. In any event, Im sure if you speak to the girls you invited solo and explain to them your situation, Im sure they'll understand, and maybe even opt not to come at all by themselves. Good luck.
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Posted 10/29/05 1:02 PM
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DanaMZ
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 5/05 1078 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/9/2006 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Carlyle on the Green
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Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
If it is a money issue & you have too many guest.. just tell her outright. Whats the worse that could happen? She will get offended and WONT come??
Boo Hoo. 
Seriously, I agree tell her she can't bring anyone and hopefully she won't come....IF you are not that friendly with her to begin with. And if she tends to walk all over you, you don't want this person at your wedding anyway!
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Posted 10/29/05 1:40 PM
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girlygrl33
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 10/02 2644 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/22/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
because
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Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
Posted by JennJay
Ok, now my question to add on to this post is, what do you do if you invite someone with a guest, but they decide to bring their best friend..... not of the opposite sex.... what do you think about that? I always thought it was kind of rude to just bring a freind. This girl I was freinds with always brought her friend Julie everywhere. And the way I see it is if I wanted your best friend to come, i would have invited her.
Welp, when I was single I brought my best friend to a christening that was worded and guest. I didnt see the harm in it, my father was furious with me, but I didnt understand what difference it made "who" the guest was if I was invited with a guest? My sister in law knew I was single so to invite me with a guest was a slap in the face( I had just broken up with a long term relationship and back then we didnt get along much, now we do) so I brought my BF had a great time and that was that. I wouldnt mind either if I invited someone with a guest and they brought a friend, as long as the person feels comfortable I dont mind, BUT if they are invited SOLO then that is a nono!!!
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Posted 10/29/05 4:19 PM
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Marisa M
Board Fanatic
Member since 9/04 734 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/20/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Watermill
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Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
When you invite someone w/ an "And Guest" you run the risk of them bringing whomever they choose. -
I personally assume "and guest" means, "and Date" not "and your Best Friend, cousin, ex boyfriend etc" .......but you didn't even invite her w/ a GUEST !!! You have EVERY Right to remind her of that. You shouldn't have to suck it up and accomodate her - Besides, what about the other people you work with ?? What will they think if SHE shows up w/ a guest and they can't ?
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Posted 10/29/05 4:30 PM
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beautyq115
Board Princess
Member since 12/04 16774 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/16/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Swan Club...AMAZING
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Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
Well I am afraid that my cousin and her husband Mr and Mrs Stupid Idiot will bring their children brat 1 and brat 2 even though children are DEFINETELY NOT INVITED This is what they did for my e-party
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Posted 10/29/05 4:35 PM
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LM903
Board Fanatic
Member since 2/05 662 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/3/2005 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked
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Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
Posted by beautyq115
Well I am afraid that my cousin and her husband Mr and Mrs Stupid Idiot will bring their children brat 1 and brat 2 even though children are DEFINETELY NOT INVITED This is what they did for my e-party
thanks for making me laugh
i having one of them too - seriously, where the heck do people get their manners?
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Posted 10/29/05 4:47 PM
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beautyq115
Board Princess
Member since 12/04 16774 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/16/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Swan Club...AMAZING
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Re: UPDATE - YOU'll NEVER BELIEVE THIS ... What to do when someone is not invited with a guest and responds that they are bringing one!!!
Posted by LM903
Posted by beautyq115
Well I am afraid that my cousin and her husband Mr and Mrs Stupid Idiot will bring their children brat 1 and brat 2 even though children are DEFINETELY NOT INVITED This is what they did for my e-party
thanks for making me laugh
i having one of them too - seriously, where the heck do people get their manners?
I don't know where people get the freakin nerve I really don't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its appauling 
I am glad that I could make you laugh.
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Posted 10/29/05 4:56 PM
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