Inviting people to the church only?

Is this ok? there are a good handful of people that I would like to invite to the church part of the wedding but simply cannot accommodate (due to space issues, not $$) at the reception. I don't want to exclude them from everything, and I know that inviting only to the church is fairly common, but I just wanted to get your thoughts on it.

If I did this, I was also thinking of serving dessert and coffee/tea in the rec center beneath the church right after the ceremony, as a small thank you for attending. it will also benefit my guests since there is 2 hours bet. the end of the ceremony and the time they should start out to the hall.

TIA!

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

I think that would be very nice of you

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

If that is what you want do have happen..then go for it. That would be nice to have something set up after...but JMO I think that some people may feel "slighted" only being asked to see you at the ceremony and not attend the reception.

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

I think that would be really nice

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

im sorry I don't want to be negative. But I think I would be offended being only invited to the church. Im sure anyone who knows your getting married can choose to go to the church from hearing from others when the wedding is. For instance a lot of my friends parents who I would have loved to invite but coulnd't afford it are just coming to the church.

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

Thats a very nice gesture but I honestly would not be able to do it...call me a wuss but I would feel extremely bad inviting people to church and not to the reception. I think its different if they want to come on their own to see you get married, but inviting them-its not something I would feel comfortable with doing...and Im sure I wouldnt feel too good if it was done to me. Just MHO.

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

Honestly, I haven't been to tons of weddings or anything, but if I just got an invitation to the church, I would probalby call the people who sent the invites, thinking they forgot to put the reception card in...

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

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Posted by ShortBride

Honestly, I haven't been to tons of weddings or anything, but if I just got an invitation to the church, I would probalby call the people who sent the invites, thinking they forgot to put the reception card in...

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Re: Inviting people to the church only?

I was just thinking of this today for my colleagues at work, but I don't think they would come.

I think the "after" ceremony thing is VERY generous.

If you feel comfortable, I'd say, go for it...

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

It's definitely frowned upon...but I know that my DH's family does it all the time (they have absolutely ZERO concept of etiquette) with that said...look at these links...

Inviting guests to ceremony and not the reception?

Brides.com ceremony only question
I am a teacher and I want to invite my students to the ceremony but not the reception. How do I word the invitation when it's just for the ceremony? I also want to tell them not to buy us a gift.

Whenever possible, it's best to invite anyone who witnesses the ceremony to celebrate with you afterward, so you may want to rethink excluding your students from the reception.

That said, if you still want to invite the class, rather than sending formal invitations, give them a casual note to take home. In it, explain to parents that the entire class is welcome to attend the ceremony. State the time it begins, and when it's expected to end, and give directions.

You can't tell them not to bring a gift, but under the circumstances, most parents should get the message that the invitation is informal and a present isn't necessary or expected.

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

thanks for answering everyone.

I am not really a stickler for "etiquette" myself. I like to do what is right for those around me, and to me etiquette does not always equal the right thing, especially since the "rules" are very generic.

that being said, no, I am not completely comfortable with only inviting people to the church, but I am less comfortable excluding them entirely....

what is more of a slight, to invite them only to the church or not inviting them at all?

also, the people I am thinking of do not have a major connection to me or fh...they are mostly just people affiliated with our church and that know his family through the church. other than that, they don't really socialize.


thanks again.

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

Honsestly, if I got an invitation to the church alone, I would be really upset and hurt . It's insulting not to mention rude.

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

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Posted by JessicaM.

thanks for answering everyone.

I am not really a stickler for "etiquette" myself. I like to do what is right for those around me, and to me etiquette does not always equal the right thing, especially since the "rules" are very generic.

that being said, no, I am not completely comfortable with only inviting people to the church, but I am less comfortable excluding them entirely....

what is more of a slight, to invite them only to the church or not inviting them at all?

also, the people I am thinking of do not have a major connection to me or fh...they are mostly just people affiliated with our church and that know his family through the church. other than that, they don't really socialize.


thanks again.

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Re: Inviting people to the church only?

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Posted by JessicaM.
what is more of a slight, to invite them only to the church or not inviting them at all?

also, the people I am thinking of do not have a major connection to me or fh...they are mostly just people affiliated with our church and that know his family through the church. other than that, they don't really socialize.


thanks again.

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Re: Inviting people to the church only?

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Posted by Lissy3077

Honsestly, if I got an invitation to the church alone, I would be really upset and hurt . It's insulting not to mention rude.

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Re: Inviting people to the church only?

Normally I am not a big fan of inviting people to only the ceremony. Sure there are times when it might be ok. However, since you were planning on having a cake and punch reception afterwards I think it will be fine.

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Posted by JessicaM.

Is this ok? there are a good handful of people that I would like to invite to the church part of the wedding but simply cannot accommodate (due to space issues, not $$) at the reception. I don't want to exclude them from everything, and I know that inviting only to the church is fairly common, but I just wanted to get your thoughts on it.

If I did this, I was also thinking of serving dessert and coffee/tea in the rec center beneath the church right after the ceremony, as a small thank you for attending. it will also benefit my guests since there is 2 hours bet. the end of the ceremony and the time they should start out to the hall.

TIA!

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Re: Inviting people to the church only?

I think that is a wonderful idea - esp. if you explain why your doing it! I think thats very nice -

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

Jess- Since they are your FH's family friends from church, how about spreading the word through your FH's family as opposed to sending out actual invitations... I think that would be nice, and Im sure that they would appreciate the refreshments after the ceremony...

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

i understand what you mean... i got married in june- i had worked for one school year at a school, and i was close to my coworkers, but not close enough to invite them to reception and pay all that $$$.... a few of them had asked if they could come to the ceremony, and i had a few extra invites, so i handed them each an invite without a reception card one mornign at work, and said ' i would love if you could make it to the ceremony". this was only about a week or so before the wedding... they were all really excited to see what the invites looked like, and to officially be ' invited" to the ceremony, instead of feeling like they invited themselves. i jsut did it in a casual, informal way- i wasn't super close with them, so none of them were offended at all, in fact like i said, they were excited, and most of them ended up coming.

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

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Posted by M&S Sept12006

Jess- Since they are your FH's family friends from church, how about spreading the word through your FH's family as opposed to sending out actual invitations... I think that would be nice, and Im sure that they would appreciate the refreshments after the ceremony...

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Re: Inviting people to the church only?

I know what you mean about including your family and friends first. God knows I would do the same thing too. I know because my friend was in that same situation, and people were talking about her left and right. People might just get a little offended.

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

I have friends, mainly sorority sisters and old co-workers of mine that asked if it was okay to come to the church, and I said - absolutely, and I would be honored. I'm going to spread the word via "mouth" rather than sending out invitations.

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

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Posted by ML110

i understand what you mean... i got married in june- i had worked for one school year at a school, and i was close to my coworkers, but not close enough to invite them to reception and pay all that $$$.... a few of them had asked if they could come to the ceremony, and i had a few extra invites, so i handed them each an invite without a reception card one mornign at work, and said ' i would love if you could make it to the ceremony". this was only about a week or so before the wedding... they were all really excited to see what the invites looked like, and to officially be ' invited" to the ceremony, instead of feeling like they invited themselves. i jsut did it in a casual, informal way- i wasn't super close with them, so none of them were offended at all, in fact like i said, they were excited, and most of them ended up coming.

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Re: Inviting people to the church only?

I understand where you are coming from.

I wish I had the option of inviting some people to the ceremony and not the reception - but since they are in the same location and immediately following eachother... now THAT would be rude. I can just imagine someone having to usher them all out!

I think a separate, less formal invite for those ceremony-only-guests would be appropriate.

Message edited 10/19/2005 3:40:12 PM.

Re: Inviting people to the church only?

I personally would not be offended if I was only invited to the church and not the reception if I had no relation to the Bride/Groom. If it was a cousin/close friend, I would definitely be offended and probably not bother to attend at all.

I say give ceremony invites and leave out the reception card, since these ppl are not relatives/dear friends of you and your FH.