How would you handle this situation?

Hi everyone...Originally, my FH and I were going to have a destination wedding and then a NY reception at a later date. Well, we realized that we really want to get married in NY since this is where we're both from, live and a lot of our family and friends are here. Since we have a tentative date in mind of the end of March 2006, we don't have much time to figure out where we want to have it. We did decide to only invite those who are closest to us among our family and friends (basically, we're not inviting relatives we've not seen in 10 years and will prob never see again!). Our reasoning behind this is we really want to enjoy our wedding and feel that smaller (60 or so ppl) is best for us. What I'm not certain about is how to handle the group of friends I'm inviting from work. I have a realtively smaller office (I co-manage a staffing firm) but only plan on inviting 4 people (and their husbands/wives) out of a total of 12. How do I explain this to the others if they approach me on why they're not invited? What's the diplomatic thing to say here? I've thought about just inviting everyone but, I hate to say, there are some people I just don't really want to socialize with outside of work. I'm stressing about this and am not sure what to do. My FH says I shouldn't care what other people think and that only the ppl we truly care about should be at our wedding. Any thoughts? I really want to resolve this early on since the number will affect where we have our wedding. Ugh! I feel like I'm being so mean.

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Message edited 11/4/2006 5:22:25 PM.

Re: How would you handle this situation?

Chances are those not invited wont ask... but if they do, you can always tell them that you and FH put a criteria on it.. those you invited find a common "thing" that the ones you dont invite dont have.. i have a lot of people i dont want to invite and others i do that are in a different department but work close enough with my department to the point that those in my dept not invited will know about those in the other dept that are invited.. i am just gonna invite those i work more with.. there are people in my dpt i literally talk to once a month or so! no personal relationship with.. it is tough! i dont want them to be insulted, but we literally can not afford to invite them all!

Re: How would you handle this situation?

Congrats and happy planning!

I too wanted to have a small and intimate wedding, and although we managed to cut out 100 people and have only 100 of our closest family and friends, it was still hard! So I feel your pain.

The "rule" is to invite everyone from work (your bosses mainly) or no one at all. I ignored the "rule" and discreetly asked those people (4 people total) I wanted to be there for their home address and sent them an invite at home. I kept the wedding talk to a minimum and did not discuss it with anyone else because I didn't want to hurt my co-workers feelings.

As long as you don't chatter non-stop about your wedding, even with those you want to invite, you should be OK.

Good luck!

Re: How would you handle this situation?

Invite who you want to invite...people aren't going to ask you why they weren't invited. We have a similar sort of problem and what I found really works is telling people from the begining that you are having a small wedding.