I need to VENT.. kinda long

Ok so my wedding is in 36 days and FH's BM is saying that he is dropping out of the wedding. I have 2 MOHs so FH has 2 BM. The first BM is upset because he didn't know that there was a second BM. He told FH that he never heard of someone having 2 BM so he doesn't want to look stupid. He told me that the reason for him dropping out is because FH didn't tell him about the other BM. This guy is like an older brother to FH and is always there for him. the other BM is FH's best friend since high school, and he's taking this pretty well. FH is so upset about this and now he is turning his fustration on me telling me that i always complicate things because i wanted 2 MOHs. Now what should i do?

this is so STRESSFULL

Re: I need to VENT.. kinda long

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Posted by DAVALJO2

Ok so my wedding is in 36 days and FH's BM is saying that he is dropping out of the wedding. I have 2 MOHs so FH has 2 BM. The first BM is upset because he didn't know that there was a second BM. He told FH that he never heard of someone having 2 BM so he doesn't want to look stupid. He told me that the reason for him dropping out is because FH didn't tell him about the other BM. This guy is like an older brother to FH and is always there for him. the other BM is FH's best friend since high school, and he's taking this pretty well. FH is so upset about this and now he is turning his fustration on me telling me that i always complicate things because i wanted 2 MOHs. Now what should i do?

this is so STRESSFULL

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Re: I need to VENT.. kinda long

Exactly.. tell him to deal w/ it..
Is either of them married.. You know How us girls do the matron and maid..
can you get away w/ that to at least make him happy..

Re: I need to VENT.. kinda long

that is SOOOOOOOOO REDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!!! OMG, people need to get OVER THEMSELVES!

that BM has a lot of nerve.

Re: I need to VENT.. kinda long

Now i think i'm really going to cry. i am so stressed about his wedding. every aspect of it ha been so stressfull for me. What am i supposse to do now? we have a choregraphed bridal party dance and now the numbers will be uneven. I think i just want to run away and forget about this whole thing.

Re: I need to VENT.. kinda long

Don't let him get you down,,
Are you friends w/ him too?? Talk to him, tell him he is being ridiculous and that he sounds like a jealous girlfriend...

Re: I need to VENT.. kinda long

Awww, he should feel honored to be one of the priviledged few who get to be a part of your bridal party!! Don't let him get you down!!!

Re: I need to VENT.. kinda long

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Posted by mable

Don't let him get you down,,
Are you friends w/ him too?? Talk to him, tell him he is being ridiculous and that he sounds like a jealous girlfriend...

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Re: I need to VENT.. kinda long

What the.........that doesn't even make any sense????? Is he off his rocker? If he drops out, well that's fine. Just like if there were two bridesmaids to a groomsmen, there's no problem with two MOH to one BM. That actually might look really nice. I jsut can't believe he would do that to you guys.

Edited to say: about the bridal dance: could a family member of yours step in to dance with one of your MOH or maybe one of your MOH significant others?

Message edited 9/15/2005 5:23:22 PM.

Re: I need to VENT.. kinda long

What a jerk! I hope the man sees reason, he will be missing out on a very sepcial day in his friends life!

Re: I need to VENT.. kinda long

I've never heard of a grown man acting like such a biatch before in my life, by that I mean the BM. Tell that man to get over it. Is he gonna cry about it??? Jease!!

Re: I need to VENT.. kinda long

My FH has two BM as well (he tried to blame it on the fact that I have two MOHs, but I know that he just couldn't pick between his two best friends). My FH was also the "second" BM in a wedding that we went to a few months ago. I really don't think it is that uncommon. He should be honored that he was asked at all.

I think that having a family member step in to do the dance is a great idea. Otherwise, maybe the two MOHs can take turns dancing with the BM.

Re: I need to VENT.. kinda long

BUMP

Re: I need to VENT.. kinda long

Did your FH tell his BM that he was picking him because you had 2 MOHs? Cause that would be silly. There is no rule that says that the BP has to match - ever. The people you choose to stand up for you are those that you wouldn't dream of having anywhere else except by your side. It shouldn't be about being "even" in numbers. With that said, you have a right to pick whoever you want and your FH shouldn't feel like he has to "balance out the numbers". If I was asked to be someone's MOH because they needed me to be "even" not because I was thought of as the ideal person for that role, I too would be hurt. And I like to think of myself as pretty level headed...
But if your FH asked him because like I said, he wouldn't dream of anyone else standing beside him and he happens to have 2 guys whom he wants there - well, he should (based on his friendship) suc k it up and be happy for him.
I don't understand why people (family, especially) think it's about them...

Message edited 9/19/2005 2:49:29 PM.

Re: I need to VENT.. kinda long

We had two MOHs and 2 BMs-- they thought it was kind of cool to have a partner in crime to share the responsibilities with ;)

This guy is very silly. Doesn't he realize that not only is it an honor to be in the bridal party at all, but he was elevated to a higher level than a groomsman. Even if there's more than one BM, they both are still "above" the groomsmen/ushers. He should be honored, and he's just plain petty if he's not.

ETA-- it doesn't matter if the numbers are even. What's important is that you are surrounded by the people you love.

Message edited 9/19/2005 5:01:00 PM.

Re: I need to VENT.. kinda long

That's bizarre. Very selfish that his concern is that he will look stupid on your day. Couple things there 1) who is he to think people will be paying attention to him and his role on YOUR wedding? of course the focus will be on you and FH!! a day later i wonder if any of your guests would be able to remember that you had more than one bm and moh; 2) this is not uncommon. lots of people do it. in fact, FH was in one wedding where the groom had 5 GM and didn't pick a BM bc he didn't want to choose! nobody looked dumb; 3) people will know that you and FH made wedding party decisions... not DBM (dumb best man so whatever opinions people have will not reflect on him at all.; 4) what will REALLY MAKE HIM look dumb is dropping out of the wedding at this late date for a stupid reason and leaving you guys stuck. at this point i'm sure people know he's supposed to be in the wedding -- him not being it will cause drama.

Message edited 9/20/2005 7:26:36 AM.