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finallygotthering
Board Fanatic
Member since 8/05 290 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/1/2008 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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I have bad news ladies
Today, I found out that FH cheated on me with a so call friend of mine. This happened over six months ago, we work at the same same place, I just wanted to pull out my gun and kill both of them, but I realize it is not worth it. everyone at work knew except me. I really don't know what to do now. I don't think I can ever trust him again, but I still love him. 
Sorry I just wanted to vent because I can't tell anyone in my family 
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Posted 9/11/05 8:21 PM 
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Soon2BeMrs2006
So much to do so little time
Member since 6/05 10463 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/20/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked
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Re: I have bad news ladies
 omg :(
i'm so sorry
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Posted 9/11/05 8:21 PM
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FallBride05
1st Anniversary Trip - BOOKED!
Member since 7/05 3405 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/13/2005 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Crest Hollow Country Club
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Re: I have bad news ladies
I'm so sorry, I don't know what to say, but here are some hugs for you...
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Posted 9/11/05 8:22 PM
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PeterNChris
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 8/05 1259 total posts
Wedding Date:
1/1/2012 12:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: I have bad news ladies
Are you still going to marry him? Does he know you know??????????
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Posted 9/11/05 8:22 PM
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BJandDan
Happily Married :)
Member since 6/05 4574 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/1/2006 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor- A+++
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Re: I have bad news ladies
You have to do what your head and your heart tell you to do. If you love him and want him in your life, talk to him about it. The biggest thing will be the trust that you have lost for him. If you want to call it quits, you don't have to tell the family, just a close friend or two. But for now....
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Posted 9/11/05 8:23 PM
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Mrs.Z
Married life is great!!!!!
Member since 4/05 1257 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/5/2005 8:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Villa Lombardis A++++++
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Re: I have bad news ladies
OMG, Im so sorry, but I guess its best you found out know I hope you do whats best for YOU. Im so sorry
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Posted 9/11/05 8:24 PM
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finallygotthering
Board Fanatic
Member since 8/05 290 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/1/2008 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: I have bad news ladies
Posted by PeterNChris
Are you still going to marry him? Does he know you know??????????
I don't know if I am going to marry him or not. Yes he knows and he told me the truth when I asked him about it.
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Posted 9/11/05 8:25 PM
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Soon2BeMrs2006
So much to do so little time
Member since 6/05 10463 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/20/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked
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Re: I have bad news ladies
how did you find out and if everyone knew why didnt they tell you sooner
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Posted 9/11/05 8:30 PM
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LIBrideinBWI
Board Fanatic
Member since 9/04 574 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/8/2005 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: I have bad news ladies
How long have you all been together? Was the indiscretion a one-time fling or was it a repeated thing? How has your relationship been before this?
Perhaps he realized how much he loved you after being a pig and that's why he decided to propose?
If you truly love him and you feel he is truly sorry (he better make a FOOL of himself to get back in your good graces) then I say go for it. You definitely need some couples counseling to help you learn to accept what he did. If you decide to forgive him, know that you must forgive him with your whole heart- no rehashing it later.
This could make your relationship stronger, but it's going to be lots of hard work to build the trust again.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this....
Amy
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Posted 9/11/05 8:34 PM
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finallygotthering
Board Fanatic
Member since 8/05 290 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/1/2008 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: I have bad news ladies
Posted by Soon2BeMrs2006
how did you find out and if everyone knew why didnt they tell you sooner
The funny thing is that SHE told me. Since we got engaged last month I have been talking my wedding a lot. I was also looking into changing careers (I am a police officer) because being married and having children would be hard with that profession. Anyway, she called me this morning and told me that she had something to tell me. I asked her if it was something that I would get upset about and she said yes so, I asked her to email me instead. Now I feel like a total fool because I have stop talking to a lot of my family members because of HIM, I don't know how I am going to face everyone
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Posted 9/11/05 8:36 PM
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Soon2BeMrs2006
So much to do so little time
Member since 6/05 10463 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/20/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked
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Re: I have bad news ladies
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Posted 9/11/05 8:36 PM
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gNi1125
Caught my lobster!
Member since 1/05 6243 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/4/2006 1:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Russo's on The Bay
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Re: I have bad news ladies
I am so sorry I can't imagine how you feel right now. I wish you much luck and strength in whatever you decide to do. We are here for you.
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Posted 9/11/05 8:38 PM
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Jessy524
Board Enthusiast
Member since 8/05 157 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/8/2006 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked
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Re: I have bad news ladies
So sorry.
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Posted 9/11/05 8:39 PM
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DanaMZ
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 5/05 1078 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/9/2006 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Carlyle on the Green
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Re: I have bad news ladies
OMG!!!! I'm so sorry!
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Posted 9/11/05 8:39 PM
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SomethingBlu
Enjoying the journey...
Member since 10/04 10523 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/27/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace - A+
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Re: I have bad news ladies
I am so so very sorry!
This has to be one of the toughest things anyone could ever go through, especially with a friend. I am sorry that two people you love and trust let you down.
I feel that if he didn't respect you enough to be faithful to you and she didn't respect you enough to not touch your boyfriend, neither of them are worth being in your life.
Of course this is a personal and difficult decision and one that you have to come to and live with. My own personal beliefs are that "once a cheater, always a cheater" and this is the one thing where I cross the line. I don't feel strongly (to the point of not ever "rationalizing" or "talking myself out of") about too many things, but this is one of them. I would actually get divorced due to infidelity.
Again, I'm sorry and I pray that you are given the strength to get through this. 
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Posted 9/11/05 8:41 PM
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Faith
Board Fanatic
Member since 8/05 781 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/1/2006 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked! :)
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Re: I have bad news ladies
I am really sorry Thank God you found out now.
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Posted 9/11/05 8:42 PM
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finallygotthering
Board Fanatic
Member since 8/05 290 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/1/2008 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: I have bad news ladies
Posted by SomethingBlu
I am so so very sorry!
This has to be one of the toughest things anyone could ever go through, especially with a friend. I am sorry that two people you love and trust let you down.
I feel that if he didn't respect you enough to be faithful to you and she didn't respect you enough to not touch your boyfriend, neither of them are worth being in your life.
Of course this is a personal and difficult decision and one that you have to come to and live with. My own personal beliefs are that "once a cheater, always a cheater" and this is the one thing where I cross the line. I don't feel strongly (to the point of not ever "rationalizing" or "talking myself out of") about too many things, but this is one of them. I would actually get divorced due to infidelity.
Again, I'm sorry and I pray that you are given the strength to get through this.
Thanks SomethingBlue, that is how I feel, once a cheater always a cheater, I will leave him
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Posted 9/11/05 8:43 PM
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mariela2006
Board Fanatic
Member since 8/05 560 total posts
Wedding Date:
1/12/2007 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: I have bad news ladies
i am so sorry that this happen to you and i agree that it is better that you found out now instead of later. About your family and how to face them dont worry i am sure that they will be there to support you. family is family and their is always a love their regardless. good luck and take care of yourself.
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Posted 9/11/05 8:49 PM
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070306
That was the best day ever!!!!
Member since 7/05 1123 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/3/2006 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Venetian Yacht Club A++++++++
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Re: I have bad news ladies
OMG!! I am soo sorry!
I wouldn't worry about what people think or about the wedding right now. I would be pissed that she told you and not him. Sometimes it is worse hearing it from someone else. I had an ex-boyfriend cheat and I could never trust him again. I think you need to take a few days to let this soak in. If this is something you can never forgive DO NOT marry him. There are a ton more guys out there that would never do this to you. I know it is hard now and I cann't even imagine what you are going thru. Again I am very sorry...
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Posted 9/11/05 8:51 PM
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SummerBride06
SummerBaby08 on the way!!
Member since 5/05 3936 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/8/2006 10:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor A+
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Re: I have bad news ladies
oh i am so sorry!!
i think one of the worst parts is--he didn't tell you!!! he would have let you 2 get married without ever telling you. it's never okay to cheat, but HE should have told you, not her.
best of luck with whatever you decide to do. hopefully he hasn't done this before with other women.
i'm sorry to even mention this, but you should really go to the doctor and get yourself tested. you want to keep yourself SAFE.
we are here for you
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Posted 9/11/05 8:55 PM
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evnme
Aloha!
Member since 6/05 9527 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/21/2006 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: I have bad news ladies
so sorry to hear that.
are u ok?
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Posted 9/11/05 8:55 PM
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finallygotthering
Board Fanatic
Member since 8/05 290 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/1/2008 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: I have bad news ladies
Posted by SummerBride06
oh i am so sorry!!
i think one of the worst parts is--he didn't tell you!!! he would have let you 2 get married without ever telling you. it's never okay to cheat, but HE should have told you, not her.
best of luck with whatever you decide to do. hopefully he hasn't done this before with other women.
i'm sorry to even mention this, but you should really go to the doctor and get yourself tested. you want to keep yourself SAFE.
we are here for you
Thanks, I got tested two weeks ago and everything was fine, I can't believe he did this to me after so many years over TEN YearsI HATE HIM RIGHT NOW
Message edited 9/11/2005 9:00:44 PM.
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Posted 9/11/05 8:57 PM
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SomethingBlu
Enjoying the journey...
Member since 10/04 10523 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/27/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace - A+
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Re: I have bad news ladies
Posted by finallygotthering
Thanks SomethingBlue, that is how I feel, once a cheater always a cheater, I will leave him
Please FM if you need to talk...
And I agree with those above...don't worry about what other people think (myself included) or the wedding right now.
YOU are what's important.
The fact that he only "came clean" after your "friend" admitted what happened simply serves the purpose of showing you that neither are worth your presence in their lives. You are too good for either of them. God never gives us more than we can handle...with time, like with everything, you will be OK.
But no talk of hurting either of them...you're right, it's not worth it. And karma is a b!tch - they'll get theirs.
Message edited 9/11/2005 9:13:21 PM.
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Posted 9/11/05 9:00 PM
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12-3Princess
WE'RE HOMEOWNERS!
Member since 12/04 3093 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/29/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Tribeca Rooftop - NYC
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Re: I have bad news ladies
I'm so sorry. I know how you feel as I had a boyfriend of 3 years cheat on me, and leaving him was the hardest thing I ever had to do. That was about 5 years ago and I'm engaged to someone else and I'm so happy I left him of course... But that's a long story.
I do believe that once a cheater, always a cheater... In my own situation, i was very very hurt at first, then angry, then at some point I found myself wanting to stay with him just so that I could prove to this other girl that he loved ME and not her and that she'd never be able to take him away. Looking back, it was a crazy way to think.
I am so sorry you are hurting right now. This is an important decision and one that ONLY you can make... Please realize there are many men out there that would love and respect you and be faithful. I am glad you found this out now, before you married him. Everything happens for a reason but I know that doesn't take the pain away for right now.
FM if you ever want to talk.
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Posted 9/11/05 9:02 PM
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finallygotthering
Board Fanatic
Member since 8/05 290 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/1/2008 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: I have bad news ladies
Even though I am new to this site, you guys are so supportive and I can truly say I love you all. Thanks, before I came on here to vent I wanted to kill myself, thanks again, I will leave that pig and move to another location and move on with my life.
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Posted 9/11/05 9:06 PM
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