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JCMsGirl05
Board Fanatic
Member since 11/04 786 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/29/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Patchogue
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Really Annoyed....VENT
 POST FROM 05 BOARD
Message edited 9/5/2005 12:52:23 PM.
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Posted 9/5/05 12:47 PM 
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M&LSept1606
it didn't rain! it was perfect
Member since 9/04 2250 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/16/2006 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
The Vineyard Caterers
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
That really stinks, but maybe she has good reason, and doesn't want to tell you. I know it's short notice, but can the BM gift be returned? Personally I know it must hurt but the way you're talking about her, it doesn't seem like you're that close. I would never dream of thinking the friends in my wedding party would use me to get a gift for their wedding, and then drop out on purpose. Sounds like your friendship is not solid in the first place. JMO
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Posted 9/5/05 1:00 PM
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suven
Sunny skies on my wedding day!
Member since 8/03 5968 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/30/2004 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Leonard's of Great Neck: A
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
After her wedding, her feelings may have changed about being in your bridal party. Believe me when I tell you, even though our BM from hell was a pain in the azz, it wasn't until we were on our honeymoon that we formed opinions on the situation. When we were still in "wedding land" we just got bye as best we could. It wasn't until after that we finally started to form opinions and act on things. Also, that was the point that I decided that I am "retiring" from weddings. I just didn't feel like my BMs were there for me the way I would have been there for them. And, I've made it clear that I'm "retiring" from being involved in weddings- outside of being a regular guest. Of course, none of them are getting married right now, but when they do, I'm sure they'll know that I do not plan on participating in a wedding.
I don't think she had you come to her wedding just for a gift to cover the BM dress for your wedding (the gift would probably equal out to what she had to pay for your dinner). I really think she just changed her mind after her wedding was over.
But, nonetheless, this sux for you and I'm sorry to hear this happened!
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Posted 9/5/05 1:00 PM
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PegaLega
Lets Get This!!!!!
Member since 6/05 29825 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/25/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Chateau Briand
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
Im sorry to hear that, it is a strange that she waited so long to tell you...
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Posted 9/5/05 1:04 PM
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JCMsGirl05
Board Fanatic
Member since 11/04 786 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/29/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Patchogue
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
Gifts were personal and a special order and cannot be returned with the exception of one.
I thought we were good friends, but it turned out that I was mistaken. The reason I feel used is because of the way I know she is. Other people dropped out of her wedding also. My reasoning was only that I didn't have the money at the time to be in a wedding. But to give someone less than 8 weeks notice is just inconsiderate in my opinion.
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Posted 9/5/05 1:07 PM
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SomethingBlu
Enjoying the journey...
Member since 10/04 10523 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/27/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace - A+
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
Posted by JCMsGirl05
Gifts were personal and a special order and cannot be returned with the exception of one.
I thought we were good friends, but it turned out that I was mistaken. The reason I feel used is because of the way I know she is. Other people dropped out of her wedding also. My reasoning was only that I didn't have the money at the time to be in a wedding. But to give someone less than 8 weeks notice is just inconsiderate in my opinion.
Who knows why people do things...but being that you dropped out of her wedding (I'm guessing instead of declining the offer you said yes and then dropped out?) it's possible that she was very hurt by this...no matter how far in advance you told her...and wanted to "pay you back". This is a big assumption on my part, but it does sound alittle spiteful on her part. I would never accept to be in a wedding and then change my mind after my own wedding...no matter how bad my own experience was. And to do it via email...I feel like she's upset at something. Are you telling us the whole story?
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Posted 9/5/05 1:19 PM
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JCMsGirl05
Board Fanatic
Member since 11/04 786 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/29/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Patchogue
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
I'm telling you everything I know. I dropped out of her wedding in January, before dresses were ordered. When I accepted, I hoped that I would have been working again, but as it turned out, I was out of work much long than I had originally anticipated and her being my friend I thought she understood. I knew she was hurt, but I figured she would have dropped out much sooner. I don't know what happened since her wedding, but she acted fine when we had spoken since.
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Posted 9/5/05 1:26 PM
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Mrs_B
SkitzoOoOoO
Member since 11/04 7159 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/17/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Larkfield Manor
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
I really think you need to talk to her and find out why.. I would personally want to know if this happened to me.
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Posted 9/5/05 1:28 PM
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SomethingBlu
Enjoying the journey...
Member since 10/04 10523 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/27/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace - A+
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
Posted by JCMsGirl05
I'm telling you everything I know. I dropped out of her wedding in January, before dresses were ordered. When I accepted, I hoped that I would have been working again, but as it turned out, I was out of work much long than I had originally anticipated and her being my friend I thought she understood. I knew she was hurt, but I figured she would have dropped out much sooner. I don't know what happened since her wedding, but she acted fine when we had spoken since.
I'm so sorry then...definitely speak to her once you have calmed down. I know you sent her a not so nice email and tempers are fuming (and I partly blame it on the fact that your wedding is in 2 months...because believe me the brain shuts down and we get very emotional) but unless you never want to speak to her again, bring up the topic and find out why. Like I stated earlier, she could really have taken it hard that you dropped out of her wedding and decided that she wanted to "return the favor". But listen to suven, she had the BM from hell and believe me you don't want that...if there's a chance that she'll be at your wedding and miserable, don't take it!
Again, I'm sorry...but you can't take this so personally. At least everyone important will be there...try to have some perspective...and good luck!
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Posted 9/5/05 1:29 PM
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E-n-K
Soooo happy to be a Mrs.!!
Member since 8/05 1080 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/28/2007 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Giorgio's!!!
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
you droping out of her wedding may have hurt her feelings, BUT she should't have agreed to be part of your BP if she was upset about that.
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Posted 9/5/05 1:34 PM
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JCMsGirl05
Board Fanatic
Member since 11/04 786 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/29/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Patchogue
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
Thanks for the well wishes. 
I don't even want her to come to my wedding and I think that after this, there is no way we could salvage a friendship. She obviously has no regard for me or our friendship or she would have been honest to begin with.
I feel like I did right by her considering the circumstances. I went to her shower and gave her a gift she claimed to have loved that took time and effort to put together and I wouldn't have done that for just anyone. I went to the wedding and gave a gift. AND more than that, I offered to help her out in any way she needed, INCLUDING bringing her a tossing garter to use for her toss since she didn't get one. Turned out she even left the one she bought for her husband at home and I came to her rescue. Someone who wasn't good friend wouldn't have offered to help with anything. Mind you, she didn't offer to help me once with anything at all. I know she was planning her wedding too, but she had no concern for me at all. Everything was about her. I figured maybe she would come around after her wedding was overwith, but she went and dumped this on me.
I am just very annoyed and mad at this point.
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Posted 9/5/05 1:40 PM
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Happybride2005
SPRING IS ALMOST HERE
Member since 5/04 15904 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Ariana Waterfall A+++++++++
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
i found out during the planning that we find out who our real friends r
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Posted 9/5/05 1:52 PM
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JCMsGirl05
Board Fanatic
Member since 11/04 786 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/29/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Patchogue
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
That is the truth! People tend to disappoint you in life when you need them the most.
S-U-C-K-S, but its the truth.
Good Luck with your wedding!
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Posted 9/5/05 1:56 PM
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enjft
I am married!
Member since 7/05 8810 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/2/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Chateau Briand
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
so sorry
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Posted 9/5/05 2:04 PM
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070306
That was the best day ever!!!!
Member since 7/05 1123 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/3/2006 4:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Venetian Yacht Club A++++++++
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
Sorry you have to go thru this aggravation.
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Posted 9/5/05 3:24 PM
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JCMsGirl05
Board Fanatic
Member since 11/04 786 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/29/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Patchogue
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
Me too, but better now than in a few more weeks!
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Posted 9/5/05 4:32 PM
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DMcK
I love my husband & puppies!
Member since 4/04 5037 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/13/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
Posted by M&LSept1606
That really stinks, but maybe she has good reason, and doesn't want to tell you. I know it's short notice, but can the BM gift be returned? Personally I know it must hurt but the way you're talking about her, it doesn't seem like you're that close. I would never dream of thinking the friends in my wedding party would use me to get a gift for their wedding, and then drop out on purpose. Sounds like your friendship is not solid in the first place. JMO
I have to say that I agree.
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Posted 9/5/05 4:42 PM
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prinses777
Married Woman!!!!
Member since 7/05 3432 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/7/2007 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
deSeversky Mansion- A++
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
Wow... That surprises me!!! She must have been a really close friend too b/c she was one of your BM...
That's crazy, you should def ask for an explanation why!?
BTW...JMO to avoid this situation...
NO BRIDESMAIDS heheheh :)
I personally feel it is a lot for someone to be a BM... they have to shovel out a lot of money...
My FH and I are just having 2 best men and 2 MOH...
Message edited 9/5/2005 4:47:44 PM.
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Posted 9/5/05 4:47 PM
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Goldi1021
Growing a miracle in my belly!
Member since 1/05 12772 total posts
Wedding Date:
2/18/2006 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Temple Avodah
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
Posted by Happybride2005
i found out during the planning that we find out who our real friends r
This is very true. I have some adults and some teens in my BP. The adults do the best they can as two of them are mothers and two of them work. I do not expect the teenagers to overextend themselves as one of them is starting high school and the other is practicing for her Bat Mitzvah (so proud of my nieces). The married ladies love talking about wedding stuff offering opinions and whatnot. The single friend I have does her best without getting overly nauseated. It can be hard to hear "wedding this" and "wedding that" if you are single so I try not to overload her with it. This is why I log on to LIW. I can talk about wedding stuff with the ladies and gentlemen here without upsetting or annoying people.
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Posted 9/5/05 4:49 PM
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MasticBride1209
Wedding Newbie
Member since 9/05 6 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/9/2006
Wed. Location:
Stil searching
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
Message edited 9/5/2005 10:01:18 PM.
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Posted 9/5/05 10:00 PM
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mark'smama
Board Fanatic
Member since 12/04 890 total posts
Wedding Date:
1/27/2007 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
DONE
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
I have read both your posts on here and on the 05 board and
IMO
I think it is in poor taste to come on here and post this - the way that you did-. You state on one of your posts that she does use this site. I just feel that knowing that she uses this site you should have confronted her first. If you needed to post about the situation it is understandable but I appears that you are posting this more to hurt her because she has hurt you then to get help on what to do.
I could be wrong but this is just my opinion!!
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Posted 9/6/05 3:14 PM
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stephanief
It's fun to be ONE!!!!
Member since 7/05 4523 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/15/2006 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Lake Ronkonkoma
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
Posted by mark'smama
I have read both your posts on here and on the 05 board and
IMO
I think it is in poor taste to come on here and post this - the way that you did-. You state on one of your posts that she does use this site. I just feel that knowing that she uses this site you should have confronted her first. If you needed to post about the situation it is understandable but I appears that you are posting this more to hurt her because she has hurt you then to get help on what to do.
I could be wrong but this is just my opinion!!
I disagree, I think this girl really screwed this bride over and you know what, if she reads this, oh well, she should not have backed out so close to the wedding....JMHO
I think this bride is 100% justified in feeling this way
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Posted 9/6/05 3:40 PM
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JCMsGirl05
Board Fanatic
Member since 11/04 786 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/29/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Patchogue
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Re: Really Annoyed....VENT
I don't need to justify what I say on this site to anyone especially since I haven't mentioned any names. Everyone else can gripe about whomever they want and with whatever reason they like. Thats what this site is for. To vent and talk and get opinions on whatever we choose to post.
I have every right to be pissed off since I was given no reason why she did this. And as far as her using this site, oh well, she knows the post is about her and she can choose not to read it if she doesn't want to.
Isn't it amazing that when I just mentioned that someone did this that some people who responded were nice about it and then as soon as they hears that she was someone from this site, they defended her...people are so faek and shallow.....
Thank you for all your responses.
I am done with this.
Message edited 10/24/2005 1:29:16 PM.
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Posted 9/6/05 6:31 PM
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