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JCMsGirl05
Board Fanatic
Member since 11/04 786 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/29/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Patchogue
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
Thanks. Sadly enough, she is on this site. You would think she knows how it feels to be screwed over and wouldn't let herself to it to someone else! One thing I have learned about planning a wedding, is that people you think you can count on sometimes disappoint us and then others come out of the woodwork and help you out more than you expected. Its sad that someone I valued, is so miserable with her own life that she tried to make my wedding miserable. Her loss, not mine. Time to cut my losses.
Thanks to all for your kind words.
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Posted 9/5/05 6:04 PM 
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Happybride2005
SPRING IS ALMOST HERE
Member since 5/04 15904 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Ariana Waterfall A+++++++++
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
do u think u 2 could talk this over. i'm sure she had a beautiful wedding and she would want your wedding to be just as beautiful
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Posted 9/5/05 6:12 PM
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JCMsGirl05
Board Fanatic
Member since 11/04 786 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/29/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Patchogue
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
Nothing we could talk over at this point. I feel like she used me and then did this spitefully. I did the right thing.
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Posted 9/5/05 6:40 PM
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Mrs_B
SkitzoOoOoO
Member since 11/04 7159 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/17/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Larkfield Manor
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
Posted by MasticBride1209
it does suck that this was done to you so close to your wedding, but like everything in life there are 2 sides to every story. It doesnt make sense that she would even pay the money for her BM dress, knowing how every penny counts when planning your own wedding. It seems to me that we are not getting the whole story here.
Welcome to the site!
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Posted 9/5/05 7:55 PM
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SummerBride06
SummerBaby08 on the way!!
Member since 5/05 3936 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/8/2006 10:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor A+
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
you really need to sit down with her and talk to her.
if she's on this site, why are you airing her dirty laundry? maybe it's just me, and i totally understand you're upset, but if johnny&maur started bashing her MOH (me) on a thread not only would i be crying my eyes out but i'd be furious that she was writing it without talking with me first.
with that said, best of luck to you both. hopefully you can save your friendship. you both asked each other to be in your weddings for a reason, hopefully you can still be friends
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Posted 9/5/05 7:59 PM
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MasticBride1209
Wedding Newbie
Member since 9/05 6 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/9/2006
Wed. Location:
Stil searching
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
thanks for the welcome.
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Posted 9/5/05 8:08 PM
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JCMsGirl05
Board Fanatic
Member since 11/04 786 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/29/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Patchogue
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
I didn't say who she is. That would be airing her "dirty laundry" as you put it. I think what she has done is disgusting. I have no respect for her anymore and I think she should know that. As for coming on here, I wanted to share which is the reason for this site to begin with. Someone who is your friend can end up screwing you over in the end. We LIVE AND LEARN.
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Posted 9/5/05 8:14 PM
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MasticBride1209
Wedding Newbie
Member since 9/05 6 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/9/2006
Wed. Location:
Stil searching
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
i cant believe this is still going on. is that what this site is about? I know I'm new but I thought it was about womaen being happy and helping each other out? Am I wrong?
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Posted 9/5/05 8:18 PM
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Happybride2005
SPRING IS ALMOST HERE
Member since 5/04 15904 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Ariana Waterfall A+++++++++
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
did she tell u the reason she had to drop out
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Posted 9/5/05 8:20 PM
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DMcK
I love my husband & puppies!
Member since 4/04 5037 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/13/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
Honestly, I find it mean sprited that you would post this about a bride here without resolving it with her first. That seems downright nasty to me. No matter what, if you were friends were someone, why would you ever post such hurtful things about them, knowing that she will read the post and people's responses even though the people will react without knowing BOTH sides of the story? Obviously, she has not publically "outed" the situation. Even if you are no longer friends, the fact that you would even do this makes it less hard to believe why she would drop out...
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Posted 9/5/05 8:42 PM
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Happybride2005
SPRING IS ALMOST HERE
Member since 5/04 15904 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Ariana Waterfall A+++++++++
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
Posted by DMcK
Honestly, I find it mean sprited that you would post this about a bride here without resolving it with her first. That seems downright nasty to me. No matter what, if you were friends were someone, why would you ever post such hurtful things about them, knowing that she will read the post and people's responses even though the people will react without knowing BOTH sides of the story? Obviously, she has not publically "outed" the situation. Even if you are no longer friends, the fact that you would even do this makes it less hard to believe why she would drop out...
i agree. its good to talk this over. get things out in the open
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Posted 9/5/05 8:44 PM
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SPITSBRIDE
My Forever
Member since 1/05 4212 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/26/2005 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace A+++++
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
Honestly, I'm speechless....she has A LOT of nerve doing that to you...you nor anyone deserves that kind of treatment from anyone.
Hang in there
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Posted 9/5/05 10:29 PM
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JCMsGirl05
Board Fanatic
Member since 11/04 786 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/29/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Patchogue
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
Maybe what some people don't understand is that there is nothing to resolve. Someone doesn't back out of your wedding this close to it without explaining themselves. And even if they do explain, there is no getting over it and moving on with a friendship. If I had screwed her over this close to her wedding then I would say its just payback, but I was there for her and did what I had to do as her friend since I was unable to be in her BP. As far as this person being a member on this site, I think it just makes it worse that she would do this, knowing very well how much work a wedding is to put together.
We will not be sitting down to talk this out.
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Posted 9/6/05 6:37 AM
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Ang&Rich
Always & Forever!
Member since 10/03 4093 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Fox Hollow
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
Posted by DMcK
Honestly, I find it mean sprited that you would post this about a bride here without resolving it with her first. That seems downright nasty to me. No matter what, if you were friends were someone, why would you ever post such hurtful things about them, knowing that she will read the post and people's responses even though the people will react without knowing BOTH sides of the story? Obviously, she has not publically "outed" the situation. Even if you are no longer friends, the fact that you would even do this makes it less hard to believe why she would drop out...
I agree. Especially if both people are on this site as the original poster was clear to mention. Why would you bring it over here? It is understandable to be upset but to try to trash someone is inexcusable. I find it hard to comment on the BM that dropped out as we do not know the whole story. If you are looking for someone to give advice on how to move on then fine...it's happened before and you can get a lot of great advice on how to ask someone else with such short notice or how to rearrange the bridal party. But if you are looking for people to bash the other person - especially without knowing the full story but knowing she is on this site then I suggest that you look elsewhere.
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Posted 9/6/05 10:03 AM
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JCMsGirl05
Board Fanatic
Member since 11/04 786 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/29/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Patchogue
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
Wasn't looking to trash anyone. She did that to herself. What she did was just wrong and I am pissed about it with GOOD reason.
I don't need to replace her. I'm better off without her at this point, but she could have backed out tactfully and without waiting this long. Like I said, I gave her plenty of notice and a good reason.
Message edited 9/6/2005 10:48:38 AM.
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Posted 9/6/05 10:46 AM
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SomethingBlu
Enjoying the journey...
Member since 10/04 10523 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/27/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Jericho Terrace - A+
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
Posted by JCMsGirl05
Maybe what some people don't understand is that there is nothing to resolve. Someone doesn't back out of your wedding this close to it without explaining themselves. And even if they do explain, there is no getting over it and moving on with a friendship.
Wow, it sounds like you are very hurt by this and are not willing to reason. Life really is too short to be so upset about things and I feel you're missing the biggger picture...I believe in karma and negativity...whatever you put out will come back to you, so try and keep things in perspective and let it go.
I quoted you above to say this...one of my BM's dropped out of my wedding the actual day of my wedding! She did have a very valid reason and because it was my wedding I could have taken a different approach and said "screw you"...but I didn't...I asked her to be a BM because I wanted her there and as upset as I was because she was angry at me on my wedding day I was able to see things from her point of view. I pleaded with her, apologized and was in tears and she would not budge. Luckily, I married an amazing man and he was able to fix the problem...much to my happiness I saw her once I arrived at the church. And yes, she was tense at first (and so was I) but afterwards she apologized for her behavior and thanked me for being so level headed and allowing her to share in our day. Had this not happened our friendship would have been forever strained and I would have never spoken to her. I'm glad this didn't happen. There are always two sides to every story.
It seems to me like you decided that you don't want her in your life...and that's your choice. However, try not to be so angry about it...it sux, yes, but this is but a small part of your wedding. Try to enjoy the rest of planning and good luck.
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Posted 9/6/05 11:19 AM
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JCMsGirl05
Board Fanatic
Member since 11/04 786 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/29/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Patchogue
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
It's sad that you had someone drop out the day of and I am not even hurt at thispoint, I am just mad. I am glad you were able to let it go, but I cannot. I have already made my changes and figured out what I lost on BP gifts for this person and I just think that I am owed an explanation. I think she knew all along that she was going to back out, but I feel like she waited until her wedding was over to do it. She didn't offer to help with my shower as I found out recently and this is why.
Sad that people can do this especially when they know how muhc planning goes into these affairs.
Obviously she wasn't as good a friend as I thought she was. I am disappointed not in her, but in my own judgement.
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Posted 9/6/05 11:27 AM
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Love_my_Freddybear
I love my Freddybear!!!
Member since 6/05 2015 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/3/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
**LARKFIELD MANOR**
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
Posted by JCMsGirl05
I don't mind the email honestly. I just wish she had done it sooner. All the plans have been made. Now I have to change things and I am stuck with things I ordered for her and I feel like it was more spiteful than anything else.
The e-mail????? What do you mean the e-mail???? You mean to tell me she told you this via e-mail????? How tacky and impersonal!!!!! At least over the phone, if she lives too far to tell you in person. I think you are handling it very well actually. The money you spent for the BM gift is water under the bridge. What can you do, ya know. I know you don't regret going to her wedding and giving a gift, b/c like you said....you are a friend. And you stick by that.
Obviously you would have been a BM if you were able to. Due to certain circumstances you couldn't. A real friend wouldn't hold that against you. I would talk to her. Communication is the key girl. If you truly vaule her friendship then I just wouldn't throw it in the garbage. Try getting your feelings out (in a nice way) and try to see where she is coming from as well. If you really can care less, then don't put any effort into it and call it a day. You live and learn just like you said!!!
Good luck and GOOD LUCK with the rest of the planning!!!!
Message edited 9/6/2005 11:55:07 AM.
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Posted 9/6/05 11:54 AM
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Love_my_Freddybear
I love my Freddybear!!!
Member since 6/05 2015 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/3/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
**LARKFIELD MANOR**
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
Posted by SummerBride06
you really need to sit down with her and talk to her.
if she's on this site, why are you airing her dirty laundry? maybe it's just me, and i totally understand you're upset, but if johnny&maur started bashing her MOH (me) on a thread not only would i be crying my eyes out but i'd be furious that she was writing it without talking with me first.
with that said, best of luck to you both. hopefully you can save your friendship. you both asked each other to be in your weddings for a reason, hopefully you can still be friends
Summerbride06 ..... U always say the nicest things!!!
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Posted 9/6/05 11:56 AM
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Ang&Rich
Always & Forever!
Member since 10/03 4093 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Fox Hollow
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
Posted by Love_my_Freddybear
The e-mail????? What do you mean the e-mail???? You mean to tell me she told you this via e-mail????? How tacky and impersonal!!!!!
Let's remember that we only know one side of the story before we throw out judgements like that. I know I personally have been so angry and hurt that an e-mail was the only way I could communicate....but again..I can't assume that's the reason because I don't know the whole story.
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Posted 9/6/05 12:57 PM
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JCMsGirl05
Board Fanatic
Member since 11/04 786 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/29/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Patchogue
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
I did nothing to hurt her. I did what a friend should do. I was there for her wedding and her shower and offered my help countless times. I don't care that it was an email, just that she did this at all is bothersome to me. We had just talked online a day or two before and she seemed just fine.
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Posted 9/6/05 1:23 PM
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Happybride2005
SPRING IS ALMOST HERE
Member since 5/04 15904 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Ariana Waterfall A+++++++++
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
i've found that when something is bothering someone they could be quiet. but to air all this is wrong. u said that she's a member of the site. do u think this could be hurting her more. everyone's feelings are getting hurt in this. since u severed the friendship, u should just let this go
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Posted 9/6/05 1:46 PM
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JCMsGirl05
Board Fanatic
Member since 11/04 786 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/29/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Patchogue
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
I did nothing to her in this. She was the hurtful one here. The truth hurts and you are right, reading this probably does hurt her.
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Posted 9/6/05 1:53 PM
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Ang&Rich
Always & Forever!
Member since 10/03 4093 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Fox Hollow
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
Posted by Happybride2005
i've found that when something is bothering someone they could be quiet. but to air all this is wrong. u said that she's a member of the site. do u think this could be hurting her more. everyone's feelings are getting hurt in this. since u severed the friendship, u should just let this go
I could not agree more!! Very well said Gail. This is getting ridiculous. If you have a problem with her then talk to her. It's like high school where you try to get people to take sides. It always ends in bad feelings, broken friendships and more unhappiness. Not to minimize your feelings but you have gone well past the situation now with the constant "I didn't do anything wrong." It would appear that your intentions are to cause a problem...you're hurt and you want to hurt her. It seems like you are fishing to have people say poor you and bad her. You can't completely expect that because people refuse to take sides...especially after you mentioned she was on this site. For all anyone knows it could be me...and the girls on this site know better than to jump to conclusions about me...they would know it must be something major for me to back out. I agree with Gail...let it go and you'll be better off for it. JMO
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Posted 9/6/05 2:02 PM
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Happybride2005
SPRING IS ALMOST HERE
Member since 5/04 15904 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/18/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Ariana Waterfall A+++++++++
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Re: Some people have SOME NERVE...VENT
Posted by JCMsGirl05
I did nothing to her in this. She was the hurtful one here. The truth hurts and you are right, reading this probably does hurt her.
we've only heard one side. there's 3 sides 2 a story...your side, her side and the true side. i think what would help u both is if the thread would stop
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Posted 9/6/05 2:02 PM
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