I have seen other posts similar to mine and at times have felt the urge to do the same. I didn't because I would wait until things smoothed over and return back to normal.

On more than one occasion, I have considered calling off my wedding. I am currently in that state of mind again. FH & I have a long history of arguing, but most of our core values are the same. However, there have been times in the past that I have not agreed with the way he chooses to handle his anger at a situation when he does not get what he wants. He often says and does things which he apologizes for and regrets later.

Our current problem is this.....FH had a surgery related to an accident several months back. He has been unable to work since then. He gets disability, but the rest of his bills I have been helping him with. At times I have felt unappreciated by him during our arguing and have wrongly reminded him that I help to support him financially --- which I know can be extremely bruising to the male ego.

He recently came into some money and wants to put most of it towards an investment that I am also putting in about half of what he is. He also wants to take $1000 of this money that he received to buy himself a "gift" as he has gone through the surgery and the recovery. I guess sort of a consolation prize.

I told him that I didn't want him doing this. The main reason is that "I" put $5K down on our reception site. "I" covered most of our e-party expenses (which he doesn't feel bad about because his thinking is that he shouldn't have to pay for my e-party after he just spent $10K on a e-ring for me). "I" have been working my A S S off to pay for his bills when he needs it. I should also mention that we have a home-based business that he works at full-time. I help him out part-time in addition to my full-time career. While he was on disability, he did not focus as much as he could have with our business to generate some extra income. But he could have if he wanted to.

We have a history of him not letting me finishing what I have to say and then he jumps to conclusion and gets mad at me and offended at what he "perceives" as what I think. This is where we are at right now. He thinks that I am telling him that my money is "worth" more than his because I tell him that I worked hard for it. He is extremely insulted because I tell him that after he buys his "gift" there will come a day when he won't have enough money for his bills and I will have to fork it up. We are not in a position financially right now to buy ourselves lavish gifts. He thinks I am being insensitive to the pain and suffering and possible never fully recovering that he is experiencing from his surgery.

I am just so tired of this. We have all these expense coming up and guess who has to pay for them? Me! He is threatening to quit his business and go back to a regular "job" rather that have me have him by the B-LLS financially as he put it.

I just don't know what to do. Am I wrong? I would appreciate both a male and female perspective on this.