SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

How do you plan on juggling a career and being a mom.

Would you want to stay home, work part time, or work full time?

If you had the opportunity, would you take a pay cut (say 30%) now, to get a job that would allow you to have the best of both worlds?

Or would you work until you had kids at a full salary?

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

Well "I" WE plan on having another child in 2008 after we go on a family vacation in 2007, when I had my 1st daughter my mom helped a little and his 2, and I worked part time and went to school. I left school and got a full time job and had a friend of the family watch her. Then when she was 2 1/2 she went to school ( the best thing for her) Now when we have our 2nd ( I want a boy) I will take off 2-3 months from work, then find someone in our neighborhood, and when he is around 2 2/12 we will put him in school. Do you think I have thought about it just a little LOL

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

We talk about having kids and what we;ll do. I'd love to teach part-time at the college I work at and work from home doing career development...resume writing, interiewing skills, etc.

We will see.

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

We would like for me to stay home for the first few years of the kids life. We are moving to an area that we can afford to live on one income for that sole purpose. If I begin to lose my mind, I may do part time work but ultimately would like to be home.

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

I have a child already and was a single mom for 4 years. It was so hard. Juggling work and everything else.. Its so hard today because both parents need to work to afford LI, Im planning on taking one year off from my job after I have another and if they fire me BLEEP them! Family should come first. There will be sacrifices, but well worth it!

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

oh yeah - someone made a good point. A lot of good child cares wont take them until they are AT LEAST two. I didnt know that when I had my son and struggles for 3 years before I found a nice preschool.

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

God willing, we'll work different shifts...or my DH will work PT (I make more) and stay at home...a SAHD just like Mr. Mom...I have no doubt he will be great!
We're also moving out of state where life is cheaper and slower. I can't imagine raising kids in NY.

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

its interesting that of the few of you that replied, leaving NY is an answer. Sad really - I would love to leave, but the FH loves his job.

I don't know what to do.

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

DH & I would both like to leave, but he cant FDNY.

Im just concerned.

WE MAY BE ABLE TO STRUGGLE THROUGH IT, BUT WILL OUR KIDS?

I mean its expensive here and not seeming to get any easier.

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

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Posted by Ronkonkomonga
its interesting that of the few of you that replied, leaving NY is an answer. Sad really - I would love to leave, but the FH loves his job.

I don't know what to do.

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Message edited 8/15/2005 2:04:30 PM.

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

o.k. Im moving - wheres that? N.C.?

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

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Posted by N.Y.bride

o.k. Im moving - wheres that? N.C.?

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Message edited 8/15/2005 2:02:29 PM.

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

Oh gosh - your post actually made me sick.


We just bought a 'starter' house for 3times that much. its really far east also, so we will be sitting in LI traffic for at least 2 hours a day.

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

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Posted by Ronkonkomonga

Oh gosh - your post actually made me sick.


We just bought a 'starter' house for 3times that much. its really far east also, so we will be sitting in LI traffic for at least 2 hours a day.

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Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

Yeah - I really wanted to leave too. But then I got it in my head that I wanted to own a home. We love the house - but I don't love that we will have to work like animals for the rest of our lives just to make ends meet.


I keep reading articles about the LI drain of young people and I think its so true.

I would love to try moving south.

ETA - not just for what your money will buy you - but for the quality of life too. I 've worked in Philadelphia and Ohio - both places I've found - value family life much more. Its not a sin to leave at 5 / 5:30. NY is so competitive, that you are expected to stay late as the norm.

I'm interviewing for jobs now, and most places I go tell me "I hope you don't think this is a 9 - 5 position" or that "9 - 5 doesn't exist anymore" Another job I was considering - I drove by the office on Sat. and the parking lot was full. its crazy to me. The one job that does allow family life - will be a 30% pay cut for me. Who can afford to do that with the price of oil alone increasing 33% I just find it sad that you have to choose like that

Message edited 8/15/2005 3:28:53 PM.

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

I'd love to take off a few months, then work part time until my kids are school age. I doubt it though, I'll prob have to work full time since I make 10X more than my FH.

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

i am not planning on having kids in 1 or 2 years but am posting here anyways...

i am starting my phd and that will take a good 5 years. after that, like many others i too will be leavining new york (unless i get an unbelievable offer to stay here).

i just don't want to live here anymore with the traffic and the expense. as soon as i'm done i'm leaving! i'm just lucky ray is understanding and will go wherever i go, he really has no care of where he ends up!

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

I think we would ideally like to start having children in 2-3 years, but (hoping I passed the bar exam), I will be an attorney and I am not so sure how feasible it will be.
As for housing, we were approved for a mortgage for 400k with 100k down on his salary alone and we are looking in NJ since DF job is transferring there. In the places we are looking we can only afford a 2 bedroom condo for 500k - it is so sick.

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

Ugh! I'm so sick when this subject comes up! I grew up Upstate in the Hudson Valley / Catskills area and loved it... My parents made less money than what FH & I both make and managed to build a huge beautiful house on 3.5 acres of land...the house now is appraised at $175k. Gorgeous house...low taxes...and here...here I sit in LI paying $1,600/mth on rent for an apt. FH's family never had enough money to own a home so unfortunately he's grown up in apts all his life..moving one place to another. We both swore we wouldn't have children until we could afford a house, but...I'm beginning to think...if we want to have children before we die we should nix that decision or move...like everyone else. When is it ever going to change?...

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

If we stay on LI, I can’t afford to be a stay at home mom. The company I work for has day care on the premises.

a 30% pay cut is not do-able for us.

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

I also don't plan on having kids in one or two years but when I do I would love to be home with them until they are in school. We just bought a townhouse and need both of us working so that is not happening. But we are also considering selling in 2 years and moving to NC so we really don't know what is going to happen. But to answer yes I would take the paycut now if if it meant being a SAHM.

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

i want to move out of NY for this reason. I'll probably always work at least part time just b/c i couldnt imagine not working at all, plus my PT salary will still be substantial enough, but if we stayed on LI, with owning a house, doing anything less than 2 salaries f/t would be Completely out of the question, and we could probably 'barely get by' if we were renting on 1 salary, but i have absolutely no desire to have that kind of lifestyle...

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

I am going to TRY my hardest to be a stay at home mom. I cant imagine putting my baby in daycare....IF we truly are unable...my mom will most likely watch the baby..and I would try to work something out with work so I can work p/t hours!

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

We want to have kids right away. Hopefully I will be able to stay home, but we'll see what happens.

Re: SWR - Those of you planning to have kids a year or two after the wedding.

We have many friends who have moved south but FH and I don't want to. We have both lived out of state and both missed NY a lot. We will just do what we can.

I'm self employed and I do want to keep my business if/when we have kids. I can make my own hours and work from home some of the time.

It helps that we are a bit older and both established with careers. I do not know what we would do if we were younger and not so settled with New York.