my SIL asked my husband and I to "host" her RD...what should I say?

My SIL is getting married on August 26th. She called my husband and I to ask if she could have her rehearsal dinner at our house. Her future in laws are not helping her.

My SIL and I don't have the best relationship...and she was most difficult during the planning of my wedding last July and seems to only call when she needs something from my husband or I. For example, one month ago a paniced call to me she needs to talk because the wedding was being called off...by her fiancee! I dropped everything to talk to her...haven't heard from her until now...for a favor.

My husband is on the fence and understands both sides...he wants to help his sister, but knows my feelings, too.

What do you all think? Do I grin and bear it and say yes to keep the peace? Or, say no, give some excuse.

I'd love some other opinions...thanks!

Re: my SIL asked my husband and I to "host" her RD...what should I say?

how many people is it?

can you say you dont have the room?

Re: my SIL asked my husband and I to "host" her RD...what should I say?

yikes! that's a tough call.

how many people would she be having at your house? If it's a lot, I would say try and get out of it.

Re: my SIL asked my husband and I to "host" her RD...what should I say?

I know that sibling relationships are sometimes complicated. I think that sometimes it is just better to be the bigger person and help out. No matter what she is your husband's sister.

Re: my SIL asked my husband and I to "host" her RD...what should I say?

it's your husband's sister, so i think he should decide if you will host the party or not. if he decides to do it, then he should be willing to pitch in and do the bulk of the work. have brother and sister do it together.
good luck:)

Re: my SIL asked my husband and I to "host" her RD...what should I say?

I think you should grin and bear it. It's his sister, I would expect my FH to grin and bear it too.

Re: my SIL asked my husband and I to "host" her RD...what should I say?

Honestly, I think that is what family is for. Sometimes you don't have the best relationship with them and yet you know you have them to turn to when needed. Some people are more 'self involved' then others and only 'use' family in time of need. But, as I said, since she is family I think you have to step up and do this for her..

ETA: Unless its a HUGE inconvenience.

Message edited 6/23/2005 8:47:04 PM.

Re: my SIL asked my husband and I to "host" her RD...what should I say?

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Posted by May05Bride

Honestly, I think that is what family is for. Sometimes you don't have the best relationship with them and yet you know you have them to turn to when needed. Some people are more 'self involved' then others and only 'use' family in time of need. But, as I said, since she is family I think you have to step up and do this for her..

ETA: Unless its a HUGE inconvenience.

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Re: my SIL asked my husband and I to "host" her RD...what should I say?

I would suck it up and do it. Family is family no matter how annoying. Rd's can be expensive and if you have the room I would help out.

Re: my SIL asked my husband and I to "host" her RD...what should I say?

The good thin is that she is getting married during the summer...and you should be able to have something in the backyard...instead of having a bunch of people trample thorugh your house.

I understand your point of view completly...but I think that I would grin and bear it...not for my SIL but for my FH...I wouldn't want him to have to deal with family drama because I was being difficult...unless my SIL has done something unforgivable...I would allow it....Be the better person.

Re: my SIL asked my husband and I to "host" her RD...what should I say?

As hard as it may be to put ill feelings aside, I'd be the bigger person and help her out. If nothing else, the good karma will com back to you

Re: my SIL asked my husband and I to "host" her RD...what should I say?

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Posted by prncssrachel

As hard as it may be to put ill feelings aside, I'd be the bigger person and help her out. If nothing else, the good karma will com back to you

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Re: my SIL asked my husband and I to "host" her RD...what should I say?

Thanks everyone for your replies!
To answer a few questions...it's for about 35-40 people and we have the room. My SIL hasn't done anything "unforgivable" to us, other than create drama quite often. She's youngest and only girl in the family, very used to getting her way.
A couple of examples (i'm venting now :)...I order her BM dress and she refused to pay the extra $30 a larger size, based on her measurements. She said I should have called her and given her the "choice" to order a smaller size. Day of my wedding she has her hair done at the hotel with my family, and has my Mom wait an extra 45 minutes because she "didn't think she looked ok"...and left me with the $90 bill. Her and her boyfriend gave us $50 bucks for our wedding gift.
I know, I know....yes, she is family:) So, we will host the RD. I just wish she was more appreciative of her family and everything they (including my husband and I) do for her.
thanks for letting me vent!

Re: my SIL asked my husband and I to "host" her RD...what should I say?

she just sounds irresponsible and immature. Sounds like she is just spoiled and was never held accountable for her behavior. You aren't going to change her, so do what's in your heart. Do it for your DH.

Re: my SIL asked my husband and I to "host" her RD...what should I say?

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Posted by cynthia

Thanks everyone for your replies!
To answer a few questions...it's for about 35-40 people and we have the room. My SIL hasn't done anything "unforgivable" to us, other than create drama quite often. She's youngest and only girl in the family, very used to getting her way.
A couple of examples (i'm venting now :)...I order her BM dress and she refused to pay the extra $30 a larger size, based on her measurements. She said I should have called her and given her the "choice" to order a smaller size. Day of my wedding she has her hair done at the hotel with my family, and has my Mom wait an extra 45 minutes because she "didn't think she looked ok"...and left me with the $90 bill. Her and her boyfriend gave us $50 bucks for our wedding gift.
I know, I know....yes, she is family:) So, we will host the RD. I just wish she was more appreciative of her family and everything they (including my husband and I) do for her.
thanks for letting me vent!

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Re: my SIL asked my husband and I to "host" her RD...what should I say?

i agree with being the better person and hosting it. But what does she mean by hosting? Is she and her FH footing the bill? Be careful you don't get stuck cleaning your house up after the dinner, especially on the weekend of a big event for your family. You may want to suggest to her that a cleaning service should come in afterwards or the day after. After all, you are doing her a favor and getting her out of a bind. Good Luck!!!

Re: my SIL asked my husband and I to "host" her RD...what should I say?

i understand the drama......i would suck it up myself....cause i know with FH's family......it would cause MORE drama...

Re: my SIL asked my husband and I to "host" her RD...what should I say?

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Posted by italgrkwedding

i agree with being the better person and hosting it. But what does she mean by hosting? Is she and her FH footing the bill? Be careful you don't get stuck cleaning your house up after the dinner, especially on the weekend of a big event for your family. You may want to suggest to her that a cleaning service should come in afterwards or the day after. After all, you are doing her a favor and getting her out of a bind. Good Luck!!!

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