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BlondeJD
La vie en rose

Member since 1/04 4988 total posts
Wedding Date: 1/1/2003 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
FH and I hadn't heard about getting gifts for parents til I joined LIW. We were wondering whether they're necessary and whether the gifting mostly occurs if your parents are footing the bill for a large part of the wedding? Is there a "usual" amount that's spent on these gifts? Thanks a bunch! 
ETA: I forgot to mention that we're paying for their parent albums from the photographer. Is that an okay "gift"?
Message edited 6/22/2005 3:17:57 PM.
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Posted 6/22/05 3:13 PM
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pinkstar025
My Maddie girl

Member since 1/04 2378 total posts
Wedding Date: 11/6/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location: Giorgios
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
my mom yelled at me yesterday when i mentioned something about a parent gift. HEr and my dad found it completely outragious that we had to buy them a present for OUR wedding.....i still feel bad cause like you said....everyone on here says to do it..
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Posted 6/22/05 3:14 PM
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starbright_33313
Board Fanatic

Member since 8/04 471 total posts
Wedding Date: 9/9/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location: Somewhere Magical!
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
great question! I think that we might put some pictures together in a really nice frame. Cheesy, I know. But, we can't spend the type of money we'd like to spend on our parents b/c we are paying for the wedding ourselves. We might go all out for them for x-mas.
ETA: to actually delete words that I repeated in one sentence! What is wrond with me today?
Message edited 6/22/2005 3:16:22 PM.
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Posted 6/22/05 3:15 PM
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jbjellybean76
Wedding Newbie

Member since 11/04 44 total posts
Wedding Date: 11/11/2005 2:00 PM
Wed. Location: Miller Place Inn
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
I never heard of it either till a friend I work with told me she's doing that for their parents.
Sorry...we're paying for this jammy myself...and I don't think my dad or his parents are expecting anything.
IMO - I think it's nice...but not necessary.
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Posted 6/22/05 3:15 PM
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Jan05Bride
Is that a leg?

Member since 9/03 7117 total posts
Wedding Date: 1/7/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location: Westbury Manor
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
We didn't. Actually they are getting parent albums and reprints from us. That's a couple of $$$ worth of stuff anyway.
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Posted 6/22/05 3:17 PM
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cjik
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 2/05 1082 total posts
Wedding Date: 7/16/2005 12:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
I never heard of it before either. Sometimes I get thrown by the number of tips and gifts that seem to be the norm.
That said, I think my parents would yell at us also. We'll get them a nice parent's album, and a framed enlargement, but I don't think we're buying them presents. For one thing, we are paying, and even if they were, I think it would annoy them that we spent money and time on additional gifts right now. It depends on your parents, and what you think they would expect really. You can go the photo route and give them a little extra if you can. They would probably appreciate that a lot.
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Posted 6/22/05 3:18 PM
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jbjellybean76
Wedding Newbie

Member since 11/04 44 total posts
Wedding Date: 11/11/2005 2:00 PM
Wed. Location: Miller Place Inn
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
you're all good honey...belive me, you're parents are not expecting to receive something from YOU on the most important day of your life!
Albums are a GREAT thought!
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Posted 6/22/05 3:27 PM
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july06bride
Happy First Anniversary to Us!

Member since 12/04 7794 total posts
Wedding Date: 7/1/2006 2:45 PM
Wed. Location: East Wind Estate
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
i think it is a nice gesture.. my parents are footing a large part of the wedding bill and fh's parents are contributing a lot as well, we feel we need to thank them properly for doing so, would they expect it? NO, if we told them, would they Yell, YES... so we are giving them albums, and a video, and i am thinking a weekend away somewhere
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Posted 6/22/05 3:32 PM
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LilyOfValley
PaddysGirl15's MOH!!!

Member since 2/05 1541 total posts
Wedding Date: 10/2/2011 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
I was thinking about getting them embroidered hankies with a poem (personalized for the MOB and FOB)and our wedding date on it. It's nice for them to have some kind of keepsake. We are also getting them a parent album.
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Posted 6/22/05 3:34 PM
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Sweetpea130000
TIME IS FLYING!!!!

Member since 7/04 4165 total posts
Wedding Date: 11/19/2005 2:00 PM
Wed. Location: Riviera @ Massapequa A++++++++++
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
I am glad you posted this b/c we were thinking the same thing. We are paying for the whole wedding ourselves, so we didn't think it was necessary.
That being said, I am getting my mom something from lenox b/c I saw it when I believe it was divabride posted about it and I think it would make my mom's day, but not a thank you gift.
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Posted 6/22/05 3:38 PM
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May2004
"I'm Addicted"

Member since 7/03 2607 total posts
Wedding Date: 5/15/2004 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
Posted by pinkstar025
my mom yelled at me yesterday when i mentioned something about a parent gift. HEr and my dad found it completely outragious that we had to buy them a present for OUR wedding.....i still feel bad cause like you said....everyone on here says to do it..
Yeah my parents' said they didn't want us to spend our money -- save your money.
Well I already had an idea -- it was a year later tho -- we brought both sets of parent's 8 ½ x 10 picture frames and when our pictures order was ready (that's why for the lateness) -- we ordered them a smaller version of our wedding portriat to fit into the frames
Message edited 6/22/2005 3:45:49 PM.
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Posted 6/22/05 3:44 PM
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103005FallBride
I married the love of my life

Member since 2/05 7248 total posts
Wedding Date: 10/30/2005 11:00 AM
Wed. Location: Westbury Manor A++
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
Neither of our parents are even attempting to help out. We're paying for everything 100%. We are however giving them parent albums and DVDs. Mostly because they come with our package. We will probably include a nice autumn frame to go along with an 8x10 of the family.
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Posted 6/22/05 3:49 PM
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ML110
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 12/04 1431 total posts
Wedding Date: 6/25/2005 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
i agree that its a nice gesture, especially if your parents are helping to pay for the wedding... but definitely not necessary.... we're just doing what a lot of others sound like they did... just ordered a parent album from the photographer for each set of parents... its not too huge an amount that they'll yell at us for spenging money on them, but its a great way to give them a keepsake of the day as a "thank you" for helping out 
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Posted 6/22/05 3:51 PM
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designerbride
Board Fanatic

Member since 7/04 717 total posts
Wedding Date: 10/8/2005 3:00 PM
Wed. Location: The Foxhollow
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
I think it's nice, but not necessary. My parents & future in laws would think we were crazy if we bought them gifts. Considering that we a paying for a 200+ person wedding basically by ourselves it will be pretty hard to swing. I think I may just get them something small and write a heartfelt letter from telling them how much we love & appreciate them.
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Posted 6/22/05 3:51 PM
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pinkstar025
My Maddie girl

Member since 1/04 2378 total posts
Wedding Date: 11/6/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location: Giorgios
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
as i said before..my mom yelled at us but i forgot we got a parent album in our package for FILs and my folks and also i got the lyrics to the song FH and FMIL are dancing to, and me and my dad to put with an 8x10 when we get them
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Posted 6/22/05 3:53 PM
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FTRBRIDE
Mrs. R, Esq.

Member since 9/04 1438 total posts
Wedding Date: 9/4/2005 6:00 PM
Wed. Location: Harrison House
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
If you're paying for the wedding yourselves then it's absolutely not necessary...although perhaps something small and sentimental would be nice.
My parents are paying for our wedding, so we go them VERY nice gifts. I noticed a lot of girls who said their parents told them not to do it---why would you even tell your parents about it before hand?? Obviously a parent would say that (even if they don't mean it)...
FMIL is paying for our RD, so we got her a small gift. FFIL (FH's parents are divorced and both re-married) isn't contributing anything, so we're not getting him a thank you. My parents are paying for both FMIL and FFIL's album, so that will be a "gift" also...though I think my parents regret doing it for FFIL.
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Posted 6/22/05 3:56 PM
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nferrandi
We did it!

Member since 12/03 5367 total posts
Wedding Date: 10/9/2004 6:30 PM
Wed. Location: The Crescent
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
We also got them the parent albums and gave them 8X10 Mikasa frames at the rehearsal. We also (and by "we" I mean me) spent a lot more than we usualyy would for the anniversary gift last year. It was an anniversary/thank you weekend away.
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Posted 6/22/05 3:56 PM
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May05Bride
Hawaii is AWESOME!

Member since 10/03 4006 total posts
Wedding Date: 5/29/2005 7:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
we didn't end up getting our parents anything - we were really 'out of money' towards the end and figured if anyone would understand, it would be them!
We did, however, get them parents album.
Message edited 6/22/2005 4:04:29 PM.
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Posted 6/22/05 4:04 PM
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katieshope
I'm MARRIED!!!
Member since 1/05 1215 total posts
Wedding Date: 8/6/2005 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
We are just going to give them the parent albums
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Posted 6/22/05 4:06 PM
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SuzBride
The Jack!

Member since 1/05 9762 total posts
Wedding Date: 7/8/2006 11:30 AM
Wed. Location: Land's End :) 11!
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
Posted by jenniesunshine
FH and I hadn't heard about getting gifts for parents til I joined LIW. We were wondering whether they're necessary and whether the gifting mostly occurs if your parents are footing the bill for a large part of the wedding? Is there a "usual" amount that's spent on these gifts? Thanks a bunch! 
ETA: I forgot to mention that we're paying for their parent albums from the photographer. Is that an okay "gift"?
I think parents albums are a wonderful gift, especially since you are footing a substantial portion of the bill.
My parents and FHs are contributing (with my parents contributing a good portion) so we will probably get them something additional. I don't think they "expect" anything though Not necessary, but nice
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Posted 6/22/05 4:19 PM
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akaMrsT
Formally Mrs. T -aka no longer

Member since 7/04 4000 total posts
Wedding Date: 3/30/2006 6:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
Posted by jenniesunshine
FH and I hadn't heard about getting gifts for parents til I joined LIW. We were wondering whether they're necessary and whether the gifting mostly occurs if your parents are footing the bill for a large part of the wedding? Is there a "usual" amount that's spent on these gifts? Thanks a bunch! 
ETA: I forgot to mention that we're paying for their parent albums from the photographer. Is that an okay "gift"?
All the gift giving at a wedding is just "nice" - not necessary unless the receiver is chipping in to pay for it.
I told FI I was going to order some monogrammed money clips for his two brothers as a gift for being attendants and he said "Why do they get gifts, it's our wedding and they should be giving us gifts?" I had no answer for him other than it's something I heard about from LIW. He's beginning to dislike this site. 
He said he never got a gift as a groomsmen (groomsman??) in any wedding - not even his two brothers or his sister's. He is hating the favor idea too and does not think it's necessary. We are not doing parents gifts although we are doing Bridal Party gifts - something small for his brothers and my sister & friends will get canvas tote bags filled with goodies (their day of jewelry, monogrammed compacts, & silver keychains with their names engraved). The ladies are choosing their own dresses so they can pick a style they can use again. I just picked a color. And they can wear basic black shoes - no dyeables unless they want to.
We will give the parents (at least mine and my grandma) small albums (snapfish digital) & probably an 8 x 10 or so to put up in the house with all the hundreds of other family photos.
Message edited 6/22/2005 4:34:17 PM.
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Posted 6/22/05 4:32 PM
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wc0143
Board Princess

Member since 8/03 14841 total posts
Wedding Date: 5/1/2004 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
My mom's "gift" was her album and I got my dad an engraved bottle opener that was signed with a nickname he called me growing up.
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Posted 6/22/05 4:34 PM
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exotica776
AMAZING

Member since 1/04 1778 total posts
Wedding Date: 11/11/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location: jericho terrace
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
Posted by pinkstar025
my mom yelled at me yesterday when i mentioned something about a parent gift. HEr and my dad found it completely outragious that we had to buy them a present for OUR wedding.....i still feel bad cause like you said....everyone on here says to do it..
that is so funny because my mom reacted the same way!! she is like dont u dare waste $ on that!! but ofcourse i will anyway i am spending about 500 for fil's and about 500 for my parents, maybe more.... oh and obviously both are getting parent albums as well.
Message edited 6/22/2005 6:07:17 PM.
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Posted 6/22/05 6:06 PM
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exotica776
AMAZING

Member since 1/04 1778 total posts
Wedding Date: 11/11/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location: jericho terrace
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
Posted by FTRBRIDE
My parents are paying for our wedding, so we go them VERY nice gifts. I noticed a lot of girls who said their parents told them not to do it---why would you even tell your parents about it before hand?? Obviously a parent would say that (even if they don't mean it)... .
i was actually telling my mother what we had planned on getting the fil's (hot air balloon ride) and that is how the convo came up....
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Posted 6/22/05 6:11 PM
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AJsMommy122
Happily Ever After!

Member since 12/03 10711 total posts
Wedding Date: 2/20/2005 12:00 AM
Wed. Location: SandCastle
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Re: Parent gifts -- necessary or just "nice"?
I think if they are paying for the wedding is is MUST
But if you are paying for most or all of your wedding as most of us are I think its something "nice"
Besides the parent albums and a copy of our wedding DVD for each of them, We just got them a nice 8x10 frame so after the wedding they could pick their favorite picture and we would have it blown up and they could display it in the house. We didn't want to spend alot of $$ b/c we were already paying for the whole wedding ourselves and didn't want them to feel left out at the RD when we gave out the gifts. But they were both SHOCKED and did not expect a thing from us!
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Posted 6/22/05 6:15 PM
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