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iffer042373
3 weeks to go
Member since 3/05 2017 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/15/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Manor East
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VENT INLAWS ( KINDA LONG)
Ok so last nite FH told me that he was talking with his stepfather and mother and they were talking about the wedding and asking how things were going and all blah blah blah. So anyway his parents said well we were thinking of helping out so I was like thats great so FH is looking at me and well don't get all excited about it cuz they want to know what your parents are planning on chipping in then we will match that. Which I told FH that I don't think my parents are gonna chip in cuz they really don't have the $$ not for nothing my parents are regular people that work to pay bills and get by day by day. His parents are well of they own a business that does very very well and they have money. Trust me they have money. I told FH that we didn't ask for any help but if they want to help they should just help and not worry about what my parents are gonna put in. Like I said before my parents are average joes and I don't know if they are gonna be able to help out at all. If they do thats great but I don't expect anything form my parents just like I didn't expect anything from yours but I think its wrong of your parents to want to help out but don't want to give anything until they find out what my parents give. I mean come on let say my parents give $1000 cuz thats all they can afford your parents are gonna give us $1000 and thats it. I'm sorry if your parents want to help out then they should just help out and not worry about what my parents are gonna give and do for us.
Am I over reacting to this
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Posted 5/19/05 11:15 AM 
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buggiegirl
bring on the diet!!
Member since 3/05 1170 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/2/2006 11:00 AM
Wed. Location:
The Thayer Hotel @ West Point
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Re: VENT INLAWS ( KINDA LONG)
i know how you feel- my parents are NOT rich by any stretch of the imagination- and fh's dad is LOADED but not giving us any $$
I think it is soooo rude of your inlaws to ask what your parents are paying- it would be one think if they all sat down and discussed it- but to ask like that is out of control.
I agree with you- they should give what they want and not worry about what your parents are paying
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Posted 5/19/05 11:17 AM
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JessicaM.
totally
Member since 3/05 10894 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/23/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
shes gonna dream up the world she wants to live in
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Re: VENT INLAWS ( KINDA LONG)
no, I think that is kind of rude and suspect, IMO. I think you are right, It shouldn't matter what other people are putting in.
I would tell FH to tell them that they are giving WHAT THEY CAN, and if they want, they can do the same, if not, thanks anyway.
Good luck.
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Posted 5/19/05 11:18 AM
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VogueBride
Baby on the way!
Member since 12/04 1765 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/22/2006 11:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Milleridge Cottage
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Re: VENT INLAWS ( KINDA LONG)
yeah, i hope they would give $ to you b/c they wan to and not to keep up with the jones's. i also think they might feel bad and still make a nice contribution b/c you are paying for thw edding all on your own..but maybe they didnt wanna give 1000 if they thoguht your parents could be giving more. so maybe it wasnt just to match if they were giving a low $ contribution but in case it was high...
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Posted 5/19/05 11:19 AM
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iffer042373
3 weeks to go
Member since 3/05 2017 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/15/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Manor East
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Re: VENT INLAWS ( KINDA LONG)
Posted by VogueBride
yeah, i hope they would give $ to you b/c they wan to and not to keep up with the jones's. i also think they might feel bad and still make a nice contribution b/c you are paying for thw edding all on your own..but maybe they didnt wanna give 1000 if they thoguht your parents could be giving more. so maybe it wasnt just to match if they were giving a low $ contribution but in case it was high...
basically his parents want to know what my parents are gonna contribute to the wedding and then they will match what my parents are gonna give us. I nthis case his parents are the jone's they have the money my parents really don't. So basically they are saying if my parents don't help they aren't helping and if my parents are gonna give $1000 then they will give $1000 I jsut think that if they want to help us out they should help out and give us what they want and not worry about what my parents are gonna contribute IF THEY EVEN CONTRIBUTE.
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Posted 5/19/05 11:24 AM
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Noiva06
Still in LaLa Land :)
Member since 4/05 2051 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/21/2006 1:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Booked!
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Re: VENT INLAWS ( KINDA LONG)
You are completely right...I think that it really shouldn't matter to your in laws what your parents are putting in. I would let them know that whatever contribution they can afford to give is more than enough and you are really grateful for having them help you out. If they ask why, I would say you feel uncomfortable putting your parents finances out in the open. You shouldn't have to disclose your parents personal issues like that and it's completely wrong of them to ask in the first place. Stick to your guns and keep your mouth closed about your parents personal business.
If they have a problem with you not telling them, then I would be like "Thanks but no thanks." JMO
Hope it all works out...keep us posted.
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Posted 5/19/05 11:34 AM
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marymoon
Someday Bride
Member since 2/04 12229 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/31/2013 7:30 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: VENT INLAWS ( KINDA LONG)
I think you're absolutely right to be upset. If they want to help, they should give whqatver they feel they want to give and can afford to give. i HATE when other people make their gifts dependent on other people, esp other people who can't afford it. This is differnet, byut FMI asked FH how much we're gving at FH's cousin's wedding so she can top it. I don't think that's really fair. She should give whatever she feels comofrtabe giving. And quite frnakly, we're 23 and just getting started, and she's his AUNT. she should be giving more anyway. eople never cease to amaze me.
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Posted 5/19/05 11:35 AM
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iffer042373
3 weeks to go
Member since 3/05 2017 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/15/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Manor East
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Re: VENT INLAWS ( KINDA LONG)
Thank I am glad to see that I am not over reacting to this. I told FH that if they wantto help then they should help not worry about my parents and if they need to know then I don't want them to help and we will do just fine on our own.
I will let you knwo if anything else changes
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Posted 5/19/05 11:36 AM
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Kerrycec
NOTW w/0 7/16!
Member since 10/04 5382 total posts
Wedding Date:
3/4/2006 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Villa Lombardi's, A+++++
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Re: VENT INLAWS ( KINDA LONG)
I"m soorrryy!
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Posted 5/19/05 11:36 AM
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iffer042373
3 weeks to go
Member since 3/05 2017 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/15/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Manor East
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Re: VENT INLAWS ( KINDA LONG)
Posted by marymoon
I think you're absolutely right to be upset. If they want to help, they should give whqatver they feel they want to give and can afford to give. i HATE when other people make their gifts dependent on other people, esp other people who can't afford it. This is differnet, byut FMI asked FH how much we're gving at FH's cousin's wedding so she can top it. I don't think that's really fair. She should give whatever she feels comofrtabe giving. And quite frnakly, we're 23 and just getting started, and she's his AUNT. she should be giving more anyway. eople never cease to amaze me.
yep people are so rude give what you want and don't compare to what others are gonna give
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Posted 5/19/05 11:44 AM
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iffer042373
3 weeks to go
Member since 3/05 2017 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/15/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Manor East
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Re: VENT INLAWS ( KINDA LONG)
Posted by Kerrycec
I"m soorrryy!
thanks I needed those
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Posted 5/19/05 11:45 AM
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cindyandkevin
To have and to hold
Member since 2/05 21575 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/10/2006 5:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Stonebridge Country Club
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Re: VENT INLAWS ( KINDA LONG)
Jen you're not overreacting at all!!! Your FILs should give what they can, it has nothing to do with what your parents give. Seriously, I would sit them down and tell them that your parents don't know what they'll be offering you yet bc they're unsure of their $$$ situation. It's a simple response and puts the ball back in your FILs court! They're trying to get out easy and it isn't fair, they should give what they want, no matter how much or lil it is! It's not up to your parents to decide what "the parents" will be giving.
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Posted 5/19/05 12:15 PM
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VogueBride
Baby on the way!
Member since 12/04 1765 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/22/2006 11:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Milleridge Cottage
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Re: VENT INLAWS ( KINDA LONG)
youre deff not overreacting. i hope it all works out for you and they realize that giving a gift should come b/c they want to giv eit and not b/c of what others are giving!
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Posted 5/19/05 12:18 PM
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iffer042373
3 weeks to go
Member since 3/05 2017 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/15/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Manor East
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Re: VENT INLAWS ( KINDA LONG)
thank you all for helping me with this situation
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Posted 5/19/05 12:24 PM
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kellwolfe
It's An Obsession
Member since 12/04 4122 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/8/2006 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Hamlet WindWatchA+++++++++++++++++++
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Re: VENT INLAWS ( KINDA LONG)
I hear ya .....My Furture in laws say the same thing they will help but they never tell us how much or with what or anything like that ....But keep tell us who to invite ...which pisses me off ....
I dont think that you are if they want to help they should just give you what they want regardless of anything else .....and its none of there business what your parents are giving!
I am sorry honey ...
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Posted 5/19/05 12:35 PM
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SIBride06
Member since 4/05 7317 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/26/2006 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: VENT INLAWS ( KINDA LONG)
HOLY CRAPPPP!!! OMG! I am going through the SAME EXACT THING. I am in the same boat as you 100%. My FI parents own a business as well. Girl I wish I can help you in this situation!
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Posted 5/19/05 1:18 PM
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SIBride06
Member since 4/05 7317 total posts
Wedding Date:
8/26/2006 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: VENT INLAWS ( KINDA LONG)
Let me add to my previous post:
The nerve of my future in-laws. After my engagement party.. they INSISTED that Anthony & I open our gifts (envelopes) in front of them. Needless to say, they commented on everything I received from my family.. INCLUDING my mom. How happy they were to see they gave us the biggest gift. Bitter people, I swear.
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Posted 5/19/05 1:23 PM
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iffer042373
3 weeks to go
Member since 3/05 2017 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/15/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Manor East
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Re: VENT INLAWS ( KINDA LONG)
Posted by SIBride06
HOLY CRAPPPP!!! OMG! I am going through the SAME EXACT THING. I am in the same boat as you 100%. My FI parents own a business as well. Girl I wish I can help you in this situation!
Well then you know what I am going through I can't believe these people want to know what my parents are giving before they decide to help out you know what I don't want their help anymore
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Posted 5/19/05 1:53 PM
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iffer042373
3 weeks to go
Member since 3/05 2017 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/15/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Manor East
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Re: VENT INLAWS ( KINDA LONG)
Posted by SIBride06
Let me add to my previous post:
The nerve of my future in-laws. After my engagement party.. they INSISTED that Anthony & I open our gifts (envelopes) in front of them. Needless to say, they commented on everything I received from my family.. INCLUDING my mom. How happy they were to see they gave us the biggest gift. Bitter people, I swear.
Too funny my FH name is anthony as well are you sure they aren't the same in laws LOL LOL
FH parents came back to my house after our daughters christening and wanted us to open up the envelopes as well I said I will do it later I have company over and then later on I went in my bedroom with FH to open up the cards and his sister comes in and sits there to see what we were doing and she plops her butt down to see what people gave and when she started making comments on what some of my friends gave I said you know what at least my friends and family showed up 1/2 of your family responded and never showed up. Then I just put everything away and did it the next day when she was gone.
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Posted 5/19/05 1:57 PM
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iffer042373
3 weeks to go
Member since 3/05 2017 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/15/2006 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Manor East
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Re: VENT INLAWS ( KINDA LONG)
Posted by kellwolfe
I hear ya .....My Furture in laws say the same thing they will help but they never tell us how much or with what or anything like that ....But keep tell us who to invite ...which pisses me off ....
I dont think that you are if they want to help they should just give you what they want regardless of anything else .....and its none of there business what your parents are giving!
I am sorry honey ...
I swear inlaws are such a pain the a$$.
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Posted 5/19/05 1:58 PM
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