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lorsin
Can't believe it's been a year
Member since 1/04 1810 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/30/2004 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
The Thatched Cottage A+++++
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I know I should be happy...
Okay, so I may come off as sounding horrible when I type this, but there are few people in my circle of friends that I can openly admit this to.
A friend of DH's just emailed me that he and his wife are expecting. I know I should be happy for them, and on some level I am, but mostly I just feel like bursting into tears.
I read the email and I felt like I had been kicked in the gut. They weren't even trying and they were going to wait until she had tenure, but one day she was late and boom - pregnant.
I know they probably don't know we were trying so they weren't trying to be insensitive but I can't help but ask why it happens this way. Why are so many people who are trying having so much trouble and others who aren't really trying the most fertile people in the world??
Am I horrible or is this a normal reaction??
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Posted 4/1/05 9:15 PM 
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suven
Sunny skies on my wedding day!
Member since 8/03 5968 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/30/2004 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Leonard's of Great Neck: A
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Re: I know I should be happy...
Posted by lorsin
Am I horrible or is this a normal reaction??
Yes! I'm not TTC. But, I have 2 cousins who are brother and sister.
The guy and his wife were trying for SO LONG. The sister was actually going to WAIT on having a child so that her brother and his wife weren't hurt. But, they told her not to do that.
Now, each has 2 children of their own (and I'm going to be a godmother :) )
Your feelings are so normal!!!
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Posted 4/1/05 9:25 PM
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JennandTom
Board Fanatic
Member since 2/04 405 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/10/2004 2:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Chateau Briand
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Re: I know I should be happy...
Your feelings are truly normal. I am trying also and it seems like all you hear is someone else getting pregnant. It is not that you are not happy for the person. You really are, you just wish that you were also in the same boat as them.
I felt the same way when everyone around me was getting engaged. I knew the day would come but I had to wait until my husband was done with school. Now he is in his residency and I never see him much but I knew the day would come.
It will happens for us too. One day we will be preggo 
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Posted 4/1/05 9:41 PM
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shamrock12472
"I'm Addicted"
Member since 5/04 1280 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/17/2004 6:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Atlantis Marine World
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Re: I know I should be happy...
Posted by lorsin
Okay, so I may come off as sounding horrible when I type this, but there are few people in my circle of friends that I can openly admit this to.
A friend of DH's just emailed me that he and his wife are expecting. I know I should be happy for them, and on some level I am, but mostly I just feel like bursting into tears.
I read the email and I felt like I had been kicked in the gut. They weren't even trying and they were going to wait until she had tenure, but one day she was late and boom - pregnant.
I know they probably don't know we were trying so they weren't trying to be insensitive but I can't help but ask why it happens this way. Why are so many people who are trying having so much trouble and others who aren't really trying the most fertile people in the world??
Am I horrible or is this a normal reaction??
I think your reaction is completely normal. I remember going to the movies and seeing "Meet the Foukers" and when she found out she was pregnant I was SO upset. Is that rational, no, of course not! It just seems to all of us that are trying that everyone else is pregnant but us. Stop beating yourself up...Just think...since she deliversl first, she can give you all the new mother pointers when it is your turn.
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Posted 4/1/05 10:39 PM
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MrsJ
I love my DH
Member since 4/04 2089 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/27/2004 3:00 PM
Wed. Location:
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Re: I know I should be happy...
It's normal, totally normal! All of us on here are TTC so we're hyper sensitive to things.
When out 11th friend told us last week she was expecting..I was so upset. Seems like everyone is PG but us.
Don't worry and dont feel bad, its normal and its OK.
Want to go to a baby shower on Sunday in my place? How about another one in 4 weeks? Ugh...
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Posted 4/1/05 11:56 PM
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dm24angel
Take a full moon and add Wine!
Member since 2/04 8534 total posts
Wedding Date:
3/11/2005 5:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Water Mill
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Re: I know I should be happy...
VERY NORMAL!
I work in insurance, so women call and say " ohI just had a baby" or " Im pregnant" all day and I find it hard to even mutter "Congrats" to them.
Yoou are happy for them, its just hard to look past yourself...its OK..DO NOT beat yourself up over it! 
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Posted 4/2/05 8:34 AM
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MrsTC
My Casey Girl!
Member since 3/03 8128 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/27/2003 1:00 PM
Wed. Location:
The Coral House
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Re: I know I should be happy...
totally normal i feel the same way you do sometimes 
it will happen for us when the time is right!
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Posted 4/2/05 12:41 PM
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lorsin
Can't believe it's been a year
Member since 1/04 1810 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/30/2004 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
The Thatched Cottage A+++++
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Re: I know I should be happy...
Thanks everyone. I feel better. 
I had trouble sleeping last night - alternating between feeling guilty about feeling bad and feeling hopeless about the prospect of pregnancy.
I feel better to know that I'm not a horrible person.
Kathy - I can't believe your 11th friend is pregnant!! That can't be easy. I feel for you going to all these baby showers.
It will be our time soon!!
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Posted 4/2/05 7:32 PM
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NovemberSue
I'm a mommy!!
Member since 5/02 9878 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/8/2002 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
Manor East
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Re: I know I should be happy...
Your feelings are totally normal. It is very hard when someone is ttc and not having any luck. It is even harder on us when people we know tell us they are pregnant and they weren't trying, it just happened or that it was their first month trying.
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Posted 4/2/05 8:15 PM
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