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AnniesSS
We're now homewoners!!!
Member since 1/05 3147 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/12/2005 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
Beach Club Estate
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Vent about FMIL
Ok, so she has had issues with almost every decision FH and I have made for our day. So last night, I'm showing her the pics that I posted here over the weekend and she didn't even give any remarks, just "uh huh, uh huh"  After showing her the pics, (including my shoes, tiara and veil) the only real comment she had is "That's all you're giving as a favor?" (For those who haven't seen it, it's the heart shaped coffee scoops with candy wrapped in tulle with a personalized ribbon). I said, yea, why? Well so and so gave a bottle of wine and FBIL gave a bottle of wine. Ok, so? That's not in our budget, I said. And she just shrugged her shoulders and went back to cooking.
I was floored!! Everyone who I've talked to has said that my favors are nice. And we're also going to have 1/2lb bags of Starbucks on the table as an additional give away to 2 guests! Are we really being cheap?! I didn't think so, but now I'm second guessing myself 
Please tell me what you all think?
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Posted 3/21/05 8:00 AM 
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melissaandsean
bestdayever
Member since 2/04 2228 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/20/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Beach Club Estate, Ronkonkoma - A+
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Re: Vent about FMIL
Posted by AnniesSS
Ok, so she has had issues with almost every decision FH and I have made for our day. So last night, I'm showing her the pics that I posted here over the weekend and she didn't even give any remarks, just "uh huh, uh huh" After showing her the pics, (including my shoes, tiara and veil) the only real comment she had is "That's all you're giving as a favor?" (For those who haven't seen it, it's the heart shaped coffee scoops with candy wrapped in tulle with a personalized ribbon). I said, yea, why? Well so and so gave a bottle of wine and FBIL gave a bottle of wine. Ok, so? That's not in our budget, I said. And she just shrugged her shoulders and went back to cooking.
I was floored!! Everyone who I've talked to has said that my favors are nice. And we're also going to have 1/2lb bags of Starbucks on the table as an additional give away to 2 guests! Are we really being cheap?! I didn't think so, but now I'm second guessing myself
Please tell me what you all think?
honey, I don't think you are being cheap at all. Some folks don't give any favor! Yours are lovely! And they shouldn't break the bank! Who needs to over-extended themselves on favors, when you're putting together an entire wedding!!!
Remember - you can't and won't please everyone! She'll just have to deal. OR, if she's THAT concerned, I (well really FH) would have told her to put her money where he mouth is!
ugh.
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Posted 3/21/05 8:03 AM
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ANA6178
Board Fanatic
Member since 9/04 311 total posts
Wedding Date:
9/25/2005 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
Estate at East WInd
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Re: Vent about FMIL
I dont think you are being cheap. I would just shrug off FMIL comments.
I am doing something similar for favors.
It is your wedding.
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Posted 3/21/05 8:05 AM
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AnniesSS
We're now homewoners!!!
Member since 1/05 3147 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/12/2005 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
Beach Club Estate
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Re: Vent about FMIL
Thanks - that's how I felt. I've never gotten anything really extravagant at weddings - and that's not why you go to them! Even the ritziest wedding I went to only gave a box of a couple chocolates 
I know I can't please everyone, and I'm not trying to, but every decision she has made comments on! Rabbi, priest, what we're wearing, where we're going. I feel like she thinks we are 2 and can't make decisions ourselves!
UGH!!! Old women!!
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Posted 3/21/05 8:07 AM
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DMcK
I love my husband & puppies!
Member since 4/04 5037 total posts
Wedding Date:
5/13/2005 7:00 PM
Wed. Location:
Westbury Manor
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Re: Vent about FMIL
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Posted 3/21/05 9:12 AM
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italia6973
Give me courage for the fight!
Member since 10/04 1148 total posts
Wedding Date:
10/22/2005 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Villa Lombardi's
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Re: Vent about FMIL
I totally sympathize with you. My FMIL is exactly the same way. I told FH he better put her in her place before I do. His parents have't contributed one dime, but she thinks she can tell everyone what to do. My father is paying half and FH and I are paying the other half. Now she's driving my sister crazy with the shower. Would you believe she wanted my sister to plan the shower near her. (FH is from Staten Island. I'm on the Nassau/Suffolk border.) She wanted it in Brooklyn or SI to make it convenient for her family. I have family from out of state too but ya know what I'm the bride, you accomodate me. Nobody in my family ever picked a place based on the fact that we would be coming in from LI. Now it's my turn.
If people don't want to come because of where they have to travel to than that's their problem.
Sorry, I guess I really needed to vent.
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Posted 3/21/05 9:21 AM
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McSulllivan
Board Fanatic
Member since 7/04 850 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/5/2005 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Manor East - C-
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Re: Vent about FMIL
You aren't being cheap at all! Your favors are lovely! Also, I really believe that it's almost impossible to be cheap when plannin a wedding on Long Island. The amount of money spent is ridiculous! Keep smiling!!
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Posted 3/21/05 9:32 AM
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jeanla4c
THREE YEARS already!
Member since 8/04 5242 total posts
Wedding Date:
7/9/2005 2:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Chateau La Mer
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Re: Vent about FMIL
Not at all!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry to hear that. We had those favors at my shower and everyone LOVED them!!!! Me included.
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Posted 3/21/05 9:41 AM
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Darcy
The DeWookie's in the House
Member since 4/04 1058 total posts
Wedding Date:
4/17/2005 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
Crest Hollow Emerald Room
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Re: Vent about FMIL
tell her to shove it! You know, people don't have to give gifts. Enough money is being put out. I have said this time and again, if you are going for the gift, don't go. Don't waste a seat at my wedding.
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Posted 3/21/05 10:05 AM
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SUNSHINE24
Board Fanatic
Member since 1/05 383 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/24/2005 12:00 AM
Wed. Location:
GIORGIOS
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Re: Vent about FMIL
You arent being cheap at all!!!
Dont pay any attention to her, if i were you i wouldnt even discuss anything else with her, let your FH do it or just let her come as any other guest would. You dont need the stress.
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Posted 3/21/05 10:58 AM
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AnniesSS
We're now homewoners!!!
Member since 1/05 3147 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/12/2005 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
Beach Club Estate
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Re: Vent about FMIL
Posted by SUNSHINE24
You arent being cheap at all!!!
Dont pay any attention to her, if i were you i wouldnt even discuss anything else with her, let your FH do it or just let her come as any other guest would. You dont need the stress.
It's funny that you say that, cause that's the position I was thinking of taking. If she doesn't know, she can't comment 
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Posted 3/21/05 11:07 AM
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ladybug78
Love being a wife!!!!!
Member since 10/04 2189 total posts
Wedding Date:
11/25/2005 10:30 AM
Wed. Location:
The Estate at East Wind A+++++++
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Re: Vent about FMIL
I am going through a similar situation with my FMIL...She thinks our wedding is a show for her to put on to her friends, yet she hasn't offered to help with anything!!! 
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Posted 3/21/05 12:08 PM
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jimmysgrl
It's An Obsession
Member since 10/04 3543 total posts
Wedding Date:
12/3/2005 3:30 PM
Wed. Location:
Harrison House
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Re: Vent about FMIL
Perfect answer:
"Oh, well, thats a great suggestion. So how much are you going to contribute to everyone's favor? Oh...nothing? Hmmmmm, well thanks for the opinion!"
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Posted 3/21/05 1:06 PM
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AnniesSS
We're now homewoners!!!
Member since 1/05 3147 total posts
Wedding Date:
6/12/2005 11:30 AM
Wed. Location:
Beach Club Estate
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Re: Vent about FMIL
Posted by jimmysgrl
Perfect answer:
"Oh, well, thats a great suggestion. So how much are you going to contribute to everyone's favor? Oh...nothing? Hmmmmm, well thanks for the opinion!"
If I only had a set big enough to say that to her!!!
Maybe after a few drinks on our wedding day lol
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Posted 3/21/05 1:12 PM
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