Moms I have a question for you

I hope you dont mind me posting on this board but I need advice from other moms. My fiance and I really want a destination wedding. Were both in our 30s and I have a son from a previous marraige where I eloped, but my parents knew about it. With this wedding, I told my mom anyone who wants to come can, but needs to pay for themselves. We have limited funds because we are looking to buy a house this summer. My mother is very hurt. I dont want to hurt her, but this is what I want and shes invited. I would be willing to have like a BBQ party/reception when we get back. Im just not into all the elegance. Im a barefoot in the sand kind of gal and so is my fiance. Shouldnt we do what we want on the most special day of our lives? Im really sad over this. When I told me mom I would like to do this she said, "have fun, as in she wont be able to make it."

My fiances mom said even if you have it half way across the world tomorrow I will be there. I wish my mom felt the same.

By the way if it matters, both sets of parents are thrilled were getting married, but my side doesnt like the way we want to do it.

Re: Moms I have a question for you

I think your Mom is just reacting at this point. I think given time she will come around, unless there are other circumstances (like financial or is afraid to fly) that would prevent her from attending. I think if push comes to shove she'll be there. I think you have to sit down with her and ask her why she feels the way she does. Mind you, you get more bees with honey than you do with vinegar. You should preface this with how important she is to your life and how much you want to share this special day with her. I don't think you can address this situation unless you know the underlying cause. If she still refuses, for good reason, ask her to be involved in the Bar-B-Que reception as much as possible.

Re: Moms I have a question for you

Thank you :) She has a HUGE family and they ALL live here in Nassau & Suffolk and I think she wants them to attend. Noone in my family has ever had a destination wedding. Were all very close. I would even help her financially if that was it, but youd think shed figure it out to attend my wedding :(

Re: Moms I have a question for you

I have to agree with Laurel.
Give her time. The way I feel, some parents are very old school and have a very hard time excepting todays ways.
But do sit with her, explain that this is the type of wedding that you want and if she wants to a family thing for those who could not attend, agree. But I would still go on with your plans. I'm sure that once you let her see the light and postives of your planning, she'll change her mind.

Keep your chin up sweetie and keep us posted.