Re: help me keep my mind off of getting burned! i am ok but need some laughs. plus helps to get the count up!

cell phone rings. Guy picks it up.

-"Honey, can I buy these awesome shoes, they are only $200 they are beautiful!!"

The guy sais "sure"

phone rings again, guy picks up

-"Honey, I found this amazing outfit. Its beautiful. Only 1000, can I buy it. It goes so well with these shoes!!"

The guy sais "sure, go for it"

phone rings again, guy picks up

"Honey, I found beautiful ring, that goes SO well with the outfit and shoes, only 50K. Please it goes so well!"

The guy sais "sure, go for it"


phone rings again, guy picks up

"Honey, This Mercedez goes so well with the ring! Can I buy it, please!!! I really want it"

The guy sais "I don't know. Its so expensive. Alright, go for it!!"

He hangs up the phone and sais "Listen, gentlemen. Who's phone is this?"

Re: help me keep my mind off of getting burned! i am ok but need some laughs. plus helps to get the count up!

lol
i am changeing the heading of the post!!!!!!! to jokes!!!!!!!!!!! lol

Re: help me keep my mind off of getting burned! ETS MAY05 JOKES COME IN AND READ! i am ok but need some laughs. plus helps to get the count up!

Guy comes in to the doctor's office with a frog on his head.

"what is the nature of your business, sir?" the receptionist asks.

"I've got something stuck to my a$$ and I can't get it off!!!!" the frog answered

Re: help me keep my mind off of getting burned! ETS MAY05 JOKES COME IN AND READ! i am ok but need some laughs. plus helps to get the count up!

COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: help me keep my mind off of getting burned! ETS MAY05 JOKES COME IN AND READ! i am ok but need some laughs. plus helps to get the count up!

doctor's office.

Receptionist "what is the nature of your visit"
Patient "well, the penus"
Receptionist "you can't say penus here!!!"
Receptionist "I will ask again"
Receptionist "what is the nature of your visit"
Patient "my ear "
Receptionist "what is the problem with your ear? Sir?"
Patient "I can't pee out of my ear!"

Re: help me keep my mind off of getting burned! ETS MAY05 JOKES COME IN AND READ! i am ok but need some laughs. plus helps to get the count up!

LOL ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: help me keep my mind off of getting burned! ETS MAY05 JOKES COME IN AND READ! i am ok but need some laughs. plus helps to get the count up!

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Posted by janet

LOL ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

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Re: help me keep my mind off of getting burned! ETS MAY05 JOKES COME IN AND READ! i am ok but need some laughs. plus helps to get the count up!

r= rolling
o= on
t= the
f= floor
l= laughing
m= my
a= a$$
o=off

Re: help me keep my mind off of getting burned! ETS MAY05 JOKES COME IN AND READ! i am ok but need some laughs. plus helps to get the count up!

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Posted by janet

r= rolling
o= on
t= the
f= floor
l= laughing
m= my
a= a$$
o=off

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Re: help me keep my mind off of getting burned! ETS MAY05 JOKES COME IN AND READ! i am ok but need some laughs. plus helps to get the count up!

now your turn!
Tell me some jokes!

Re: help me keep my mind off of getting burned! ETS MAY05 JOKES COME IN AND READ! i am ok but need some laughs. plus helps to get the count up!

i wish i could i am bad at that! i am gonna change the post to jokes got any well tell them!

Re: help me keep my mind off of getting burned! ETS MAY05 JOKES COME IN AND READ! i am ok but need some laughs. plus helps to get the count up!

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."

The bartender says, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."

Re: help me keep my mind off of getting burned! ETS MAY05 JOKES COME IN AND READ! i am ok but need some laughs. plus helps to get the count up!

Guy at a bar.
Orders 3 mugs.
Drinks one, cries.
Than, drinks the other, cries.

Bartender had to ask. What is the matter? Why are you drinking the mugs and crying?

Well my 2 brothers and I would meet here every year to drink and talk. Well, today, on of them is in Ireland. So I am drinking for him. The other one just died, so drinking for him. What about the third mug?

Well, that one is mine. I quit drinking!

Re: ETS: MAY05 BRIDE HELPED ME TO FEEL BETTER WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE!

LOL

Re: ETS: MAY05 BRIDE HELPED ME TO FEEL BETTER WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE!

A Mushroom goes to a bar. Tries to order a drink.
The bartender says "we don't serve mushrooms here!"

The mushroom looked all offended,
"why? I am a Fun Guy!!!"


get it? Fungi

Re: ETS: MAY05 BRIDE HELPED ME TO FEEL BETTER WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE!

yeah i got it!!!!!!!!!! lol

Re: ETS: MAY05 BRIDE HELPED ME TO FEEL BETTER WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE!

Guy walks into a bar with a miniature Peanist playing in a box for him, and a genie in the other hand.

The bartender asks "can I use your genie to make a wish?"
The guy sais, sure, but he can't hear too well!

The bartender doesn't mind and takes the genie. The bartender says
"I wish for a million bucks to fall on my head!!!" So, a million boxes start falling on the bartender's head.

The guy by the bar looks unimpressed.
"Do you really think I asked for a 9'' pianist?????"

Re: ETS: MAY05 BRIDE HELPED ME TO FEEL BETTER WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE!

I heard this one on the radio this morning and was laughing so hard....


a guy walks into his kitchen holding a duck and says "see? this is the pig I've been screwing"

and his wife says "thats not a pig"

and he says "i wasnt talking to you"

Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!

this one is cheesy.....


bacon and eggs walk into a bar.....the bartender says "sorry, we dont serve breakfast here" lol

Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!

guy walks into a bar. Puts a cup on one end of the bar.
Walks up to a bartender and says, I give you $5 if I can pee into the cup from all the way over here.

The bartender tells him he is on!

He pees all over the bar. Hands the bartender the $5 with a smile.
The bartender asked "what is so funny"
I bet that guy $100 you would let me pee all over the bar!

Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!

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Posted by trnity44

this one is cheesy.....


bacon and eggs walk into a bar.....the bartender says "sorry, we dont serve breakfast here" lol

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Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!

this is great! i really needed this and i am sure others too!

Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!

Horse has been crying for months!!!!
The owner put up a flier that he would pay $1000 to the person that makes the horse lauph.

Many have tried, many have failed!! One man comes, and makes the horse lauph.

Months go buy and the horse won't stop lauphing. The owner can't take it anymore. Can't get any sleep. Calls the guy back, and said it was quieter when the horse cried. He'd pay $2000 to make him cry again. The guy went in, and made the horse cry.

The owner said. I don't understand how did you do this?

"I told the horse I have a bigger penus than he does"

.. "and how did you make him cry again?" the owner asked.

"I showed him!" the man replied.

Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!"
Everyone expects a fight but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.

Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was s-w-e-et!"

Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!"

Finally the guy interrupts, "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"

Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!

lol where do you get them from!!?