Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

So my wedding list is already insanely long...we both have huge families.

FH's parents included my FSIL's parents on their invite list and I do NOT want to invite them!!!

A little background:
-FSIL is a witch...she just married FH's brother last July...prior to the wedding I e-mailed and called and asked if I could help her with anything...
-I was not in her wedding (which I really did not want to be part of and was relieved) and she is not in mine
-FSIL has yet to congratulate me on the wedding, has never asked me about planning, etc.
-We see FSIL very rarely...

I really do not get along with her. She is just a nasty person and I have tried to reach out to her many times, and have finally given up.

She has done a lot of sketchy things (told ENTIRE family and sonme acquaintances they were having a baby before telling FH...I overheard her telling someone else!!! And then asks FH to be godfather...so strange!)

Also, I have only met FSIL's parents twice (and once was at her wedding!!)

I am sorry, but I get so crazy thinking about FSIL...it really bothers me that she will soon be my "family" and she is so cold and nasty...I don't even want to invite her (although I know I have to)...

Do I have to invite her parents though? (we are already cutting some of our friends because the guest list is 280 right now and Riviera's max is 220!!!)

Re: Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

you probably should. im going to have to invite my fsil's parents even though fh doesnt like them much and neither does my fmil. she is in my bp too and it would be wrong not to invite her parents

Re: Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where the parent's of an IL were invited. Only acception might be if the parents happened to know each other for a long time... lived in the same neighborhood or something like that.

I wouldn't

Re: Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

I guess that's really up to you. I mean it is your wedding, and you have final say. But I know its a courtesy to invite parents of In-laws. I am inviting my sister's in-laws and fh is inviting his sister's in-law's. I have met both couples only once.

Re: Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

It's your wedding you invite who you want to. Would you consider just inviting them to the ceremony?

Re: Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

This is a tough call...I've only heard of IL's parents beign invited if the families have been close for a long time...

considering you've only met them twice...I'm going to go ahead and say no you don't need to invite them...its your wedding, invite who you want not who your MIL wants...

Re: Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

i voted to not invite them- you need to cut the list anyway, and i haven't been to a wedding where the parents of in-laws were invited.

Re: Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

I feel it depends on your relationship with her and her family... and it sounds like there really isn't a good one.

I'm inviting FSIL's parents and brother cause I have a good relationship with them and like them.

Remember.... your day - your way!!!

Re: Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

I have issues with my brother's soon to be MIL, actually, I hate her. She screwed up MY bridal shower favors (bra sachet) that I wanted, because she wanted them for her daughter, after my mom told her how much I liked them.

I picked out HER daughter's shower invites because she was too lazy to do it herself, and after that her mother then called ME and asked me if I would order the bra sachet favors for her daughter!!!!

Then when I diplomatically told her it was too early to order them, in hopes they would then be "backordered", she called my favor lady and tried to order them herself!!!!!

The nerve!!!!

Well, sorry to vent, but NO WAY do you have to invite her parents, especially if you don't like them or their daughter. It's bad enough you have to see FSIL on your wedding day.

Re: Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

There is no reason why you should feel like you have to invite them to your wedding. You have already said that you are cutting your own friends!!!! Why would you be expected to invite her parents, whom you have only met twice? If the parents are invited, then does that mean that her siblings, if she has any, should be invited too? I would tell your fh parents that there are close friends of yours that you are already cutting because you have too big of a guest list and that you will not be inviting her parents.

Re: Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

I don't think that you have any obligation to invite them. It's your day, invite those there that you want. You don't have to explain yourself to your FSIL.

Re: Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

There is no need to invite them... you have met them 2xs......

Re: Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

Have you and your FI discussed all of this? How does he feel about it?

If he agrees with you, let him tell his parents that you (collectively) have decided not to invite them. His parents are the ones who want to invite the in-laws, so he should be the one delivering the news that they won't be invited, if that's what you ultimately decide.

I can really empathize with your situation. I cannot stand my FSIL. My FI's brother was married last year, too. We were engaged by the time their wedding rolled around. The seating card said Mr.____________ & Guest! I was his fiancee and she wrote GUEST! Was she not sure he'd be bringing me? I'm actually wondering if you and I might have the same FSIL.

*Edited for typos.

Message edited 2/11/2005 3:05:15 PM.

Re: Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

I think since FIL put FSIL's parents on their list you probably need to invite them. It's ridiculous to have to invite people you don't know/like to your wedding, but sometimes it's easier to just to do it for harmony sake.

Re: Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

I don't think you need to invite them. I HATE my FBIL and his family, and I might not even be inviting him, that's beside's the point, but I would NEVER invite his family. I know FH's parents would like to, since they're close with them, but we just aren't. You don't have to invite people you don't know/like

Re: Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

Also, FIL's and FSIL's family live in different states and don't have much contact...we don't see them on holidays, etc....

I probably will only see them at christenings for evil FSIL (I guarantee I will not be invited to her baby shower)

Re: Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

I wouldnt invite them, it's YOUR day and you should be the one who decides who is there. Besides, if she is that much of an azz, you dont want any drama going down at your wedding!

Secondly, I feel you about the Rivera (thats where I was supposed to get married)..220 being the max is even pushing it, and you have to cut the guest list somewhere..Lets start with people you dont want to be there!!

Re: Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

I am not inviteing any of the fil's parents. i don't even know them. I don't think this is mandatory at all.

Re: Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

no, I would not invite the parents of the inlaws. My cousin invited her bother's inlaws to her wedding, but we all became very close to them and they are at almost all of our functions, so it's different.

edited to add: Were YOUR parents invited to HER wedding? If not, then don't invite her parents to your wedding.

Message edited 2/11/2005 4:38:34 PM.

Re: Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

Nope my parents were NOT invited to their wedding....and FH and I had been dating for almost 5 years at that point and owned a condo together...so she knew we would be getting married....

She is awful...I hate that she has to be on the guest list, but I know there is no choice there!

Re: Evil FSIL and Invites (Re-post from '05 Board)

I definitely think you have to invite them out of respect to your future in laws. Also it seems like you problem is with FSIL and not her parents.